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www/fun/jokes hakawatha.html last.bug.html midn...
|
From: |
Therese Godefroy |
|
Subject: |
www/fun/jokes hakawatha.html last.bug.html midn... |
|
Date: |
Sun, 11 Jul 2021 16:41:13 -0400 (EDT) |
CVSROOT: /webcvs/www
Module name: www
Changes by: Therese Godefroy <th_g> 21/07/11 16:41:13
Modified files:
fun/jokes : hakawatha.html last.bug.html
midnight.dreary.html networkologist.html
Log message:
Add breadcrumb and some info, update to boilerplate 1.96, restyle.
CVSWeb URLs:
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/hakawatha.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.18&r2=1.19
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/last.bug.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.18&r2=1.19
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/midnight.dreary.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.11&r2=1.12
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/networkologist.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.11&r2=1.12
Patches:
Index: hakawatha.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/hakawatha.html,v
retrieving revision 1.18
retrieving revision 1.19
diff -u -b -r1.18 -r1.19
--- hakawatha.html 6 Jul 2020 13:43:09 -0000 1.18
+++ hakawatha.html 11 Jul 2021 20:41:11 -0000 1.19
@@ -1,50 +1,105 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<title>HAKAWATHA - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation (FSF)</title>
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
+<title>The Song of Hakawatha - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
+<style type="text/css" media="print,screen">
+.reduced-width { width: 52em; }
+.lyrics { width: 25em; }
+<!--
+.lyrics {
+ display: block;
+ text-align: center; margin: 2em auto;
+}
+.lyrics h3 {
+ font-style: normal; color: #6b3699;
+ margin-bottom: 1em;
+}
+.table p {
+ display: inline-block; text-align: left;
+ margin-top: 0;
+}
+span.indent, span.end { position: relative; left: 1.5em; }
+span.end { color: #572385; }
+.column-limit { display: none; }
+@media (max-width:25em) {
+ .lyrics { width: auto; max-width: none; }
+}
+@media (min-width:55em) {
+ .lyrics { width: auto; max-width: none; }
+ .table { display: table; width: 100%; }
+ .table p {
+ display: table-cell; width: 50%; vertical-align: top;
+ padding-left: 1em;
+ }
+ p.stretch { line-height: 1.57em; }
+ .column-limit {
+ display: block;
+ background: #a581c6;
+ background-image: linear-gradient(to right, white, #8657af, white);
+ margin: 1.5em auto;
+ }
+}
+--></style>
<!--#include virtual="/fun/jokes/po/hakawatha.translist" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-<h2>HAKAWATHA</h2>
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#Poems">Poems</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
+<h2 class="c">The Song of Hakawatha</h2>
-<blockquote>
-<div class="lyrics">
-<p>HAKAWATHA</p>
+<address class="byline c">by F. X. Reid <br />
+Poet and Tragedian</address>
-<p>with apologies to H.W. Longfellow</p>
+<p class="c">With apologies to
+H. W. Longfellow </p>
+
+<div class="lyrics">
+<h3>Part I:
+The Logging-in of Hakawatha</h3>
-<p>First, he sat and faced the console<br />
+<div class="table">
+<p>
+<span class="indent">First, he sat and faced the console</span><br />
Faced the glowing, humming console<br />
Typed his login at the keyboard<br />
Typed his password (fourteen letters)<br />
Waited till the system answered<br />
Waited long and cursed its slowness<br />
-(Oh, that irritating slowness —<br />
+(Oh, that irritating slowness—<br />
Like a mollusc with lumbago)<br />
Waited for what seemed like hours<br />
Till the operating system<br />
Printed out the latest whinings<br />
-From the man called “superuser” —<br />
+From the man called “superuser”—<br />
Moanings that some third year students<br />
Played adventure games at lunchtimes,<br />
-Moanings the the Disc was nearly<br />
+Moanings that the Disc was nearly<br />
(VERY nearly) full to bursting,<br />
Growling that he wouldn't take it<br />
Screaming that he'd get his own back<br />
-By deleting peoples' discfiles.</p>
-
-<p>Next, came Hakawatha's “fortune”<br />
+By deleting peoples' discfiles.<br />
+<span class="indent">Next, came Hakawatha's “fortune”</span><br />
(Didn't find it very funny)<br />
Then from “mailer” took a letter<br />
-From a fellow network hacker<br />
+From a fellow network hacker</p>
+<p>
(Who had penetrated ARPA<br />
-All the way to Greenham Common —<br />
+All the way to Greenham Common—<br />
Though his prowling through the filestore<br />
-Hadn't pleases the US Airforce —<br />
+Hadn't pleased the US Airforce—<br />
So this friend, this network hacker,<br />
Had to flee to Argentina<br />
Where he works on simulations<br />
Simulations of their army's<br />
-Capture of the Falkland Islands).</p>
-
-<p>Finally, my Hakawatha<br />
+Capture of the Falkland Islands).<br />
+<span class="indent">Finally, my Hakawatha</span><br />
Started to type in a program.<br />
First, he thought for many minutes<br />
What the Devil he should call it<br />
@@ -58,22 +113,27 @@
While you fumble for your ticket<br />
When you could have SWORN you'd put it<br />
Safely in an inside pocket).</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="column-limit"></div>
-<p>So the wretched Hakawatha<br />
+<div class="table">
+<p>
+<span class="indent">So the wretched Hakawatha</span><br />
Had to start from the beginning<br />
-Type the login and the password —<br />
+Type the login and the password—<br />
Found the system even slower<br />
Even slower than the first time<br />
(Just as though some evil spirit<br />
Had reprogrammed all of Unix<br />
-In the language LISP or OCCAM —<br />
+In the language LISP or OCCAM—<br />
Which among the cognoscenti<br />
Are not famed for running quickly<br />
Rather for their ponderous slowness<br />
Like a third year CS student<br />
Trying to make out a theorem<br />
Such as that of Church and Rosser).<br />
-After many, many minutes<br />
+<span class="indent">After many, many minutes</span><br />
After risking death from boredom<br />
On the screen, my Hakawatha<br />
Saw a message from the Network<br />
@@ -82,14 +142,14 @@
Telling him to come back later<br />
(Say, two-thirty in the morning<br />
Preferably a Sunday morning,<br />
-Sunday, in the long vacation).</p>
-
-<p>But at this, my Hakawatha<br />
+Sunday, in the long vacation).<br />
+But at this, my Hakawatha<br />
spoke in language full of fury:<br />
“I would rather write in COBOL<br />
On a Sinclair ZX80!”<br />
-Thus, the Gods heard Hakawatha<br />
-Heard the Thunder of his anger<br />
+<span class="indent">Thus, the Gods heard Hakawatha</span><br />
+Heard the Thunder of his anger</p>
+<p>
Heard him damn the “superuser”<br />
To a post in Social Science<br />
Heard him damn the Network to be<br />
@@ -102,9 +162,8 @@
Rather longer than the Bible<br />
But semantically there's nothing<br />
But informal chitter-chatter.<br />
-Reader! Use it at your peril!)</p>
-
-<p>And the Gods took pity on him<br />
+Reader! Use it at your peril!)<br />
+<span class="indent">And the Gods took pity on him</span><br />
(Though they quite deplored the language<br />
Quite deplored the filthy language<br />
Utilised by Hakawatha)<br />
@@ -114,35 +173,44 @@
Made his screen display a message:<br />
“Sorry, we were only joking<br />
Please log in and type your password<br />
-We'll be with you in a jiffy.”</p>
-
-<p>Thus assuaged did Hakawatha<br />
+We'll be with you in a jiffy.”<br />
+Thus assuaged did Hakawatha<br />
Type his login and his password<br />
Read again the Jeremiads<br />
Of the manic “superuser”<br />
Read his fortune (still not funny)<br />
-And prepared to type his program.<br />
-Still, alas, my Hakawatha<br />
+And prepared to type his program.</p>
+</div>
+</div>
+
+<div class="lyrics">
+<h3>Part II: Hakawatha's Programming Style</h3>
+
+<div class="table">
+<p>
+<span class="indent">Still, alas, my Hakawatha</span><br />
had no notion what to call it<br />
What to call this wretched program<br />
So that he'd remember later<br />
What it did and why he wrote it<br />
-But the dreaded timeout th=eatened<br />
+But the dreaded timeout threatened<br />
So to save himself from bother<br />
-He just called it “program 7”<br />
+He just called it “program7”<br />
Not a name that had much meaning<br />
Signifying nearly nothing<br />
— Though it has the real advantage<br />
That it fits in with this metre)<br />
Meaning to <code>mv</code> it later<br />
-When he'd though of something lYeditor he entered<br />
+When he'd thought of something later<br />
+<span class="indent">Now the editor he entered</span><br />
Hakawatha then typed quickly<br />
Very, very, VERY quickly<br />
Swifter than a third-year student<br />
Trying to avoid his tutor<br />
Swifter than a “Sun” ‘reporter’<br />
-On the track of something smutty<br />
-Like an eagle flew his fingers<br />
+On the track of something smutty</p>
+<p class="stretch">
+<span class="indent">Like an eagle flew his fingers</span><br />
Only pausing several moments<br />
While he taxed his recollection<br />
For his algorithm's details<br />
@@ -151,10 +219,9 @@
Cloak the lofty mountain summit<br />
As the blur that s-nd-rs printers<br />
Make instead of underlining<br />
-As the third year students' notio<br />n
-Of the proof of Turing's Theorem)</p>
-
-<p>These deliberations ended<br />
+As the third year students' notion<br />
+Of the proof of Turing's Theorem)<br />
+<span class="indent">These deliberations ended</span><br />
Hakawatha typed yet faster<br />
Missing quotes and semicolons<br />
Missing many closing brackets<br />
@@ -162,17 +229,22 @@
Till he understood his program<br />
Understood what he'd been doing)<br />
Confident that the compiler<br />
-Would pick up the syntax errors<br />
-Thus, the program grew like wildfire<br />
+Would pick up the syntax errors</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="column-limit"></div>
+
+<div class="table">
+<p>
+<span class="indent">Thus, the program grew like wildfire</span><br />
Like the spread of some contagious<br />
Malady, like AIDS or BASIC<br />
Or as miners ceased their striking<br />
-In the reign of Arthur Scargill.</p>
-
-<p>Hakawatha typed like fury<br />
+In the reign of Arthur Scargill.<br />
+Hakawatha typed like fury<br />
Clatter, clatter went the keyboard<br />
Like a set of manic dentures<br />
-So the morning, so the lunchtime,<br />
+<span class="indent">So the morning, so the lunchtime,</span><br />
So the afternoon receded<br />
Like the superuser's hairline<br />
When beset by third year students<br />
@@ -181,47 +253,52 @@
Till at last the pubs were open<br />
Till Security, reminded<br />
Tapped upon his door and warned him<br />
-“Sorry, sir, but all late workers
-Have to sign the sign-in book, sir.”</p>
-
-<p>Even then, my Hakawatha<br />
-Hardly heard what he was saying<br />
+“Sorry, sir, but all late workers<br />
+Have to sign the sign-in book, sir.”<br />
+<span class="indent">Even then, my Hakawatha</span><br />
+Hardly heard what he was saying</p>
+<p class="stretch">
Very red and glazed his eyes were<br />
Cramped and aching were his fingers<br />
Void and rumbling was his stomach<br />
Cold and sweaty was his forehead<br />
Warm and humming was the console<br />
Like a cow with indigestion<br />
-Thanked Security and told him<br />
+<span class="indent">Thanked Security and told him</span><br />
That he'd do it “in a minute”<br />
That he'd “totally forgotten<br />
All that bureaucratic nonsense<br />
In the white-heat of creation”<br />
Asked to warn him if the building<br />
Burnt down in the next few minutes<br />
-Thanked him for his “kind attention”</p>
-
-<p>Then, ignoring him completely,<br />
+Thanked him for his “kind attention”<br />
+<span class="indent">Then, ignoring him completely,</span><br />
Turned again and hit the keyboard<br />
With his swift and able fingers<br />
Till at last the night lay heavy<br />
Till at last the pubs were closing<br />
Till at last the job was finished.</p>
+</div>
+</div>
+
+<div class="lyrics">
+<h3>Part III: Hakawatha's Program Testing</h3>
-<p>Next my Hakawatha summoned<br />
+<div class="table">
+<p>
+<span class="indent">Next my Hakawatha summoned</span><br />
The appropriate compiler<br />
Asking it to take his program<br />
And attempt its execution<br />
-Listing any syntax errors —<br />
-Should by any chance there be some —<br />
+Listing any syntax errors—<br />
+Should by any chance there be some—<br />
In a file that he called “errors”<br />
(Stunning was the innovation<br />
Vouchsafed by this choice of naming)<br />
-Asked it please to run in background.</p>
-
-<p>Swiftly grew the file named “errors”<br />
+Asked it please to run in background.<br />
+<span class="indent">Swiftly grew the file named
“errors”</span><br />
Till it seemed to grow much larger<br />
-Than the file called “program 7”<br />
+Than the file called “program7”<br />
Larger was the file named “errors”<br />
Larger than the largest mountain<br />
Larger than the cost of Trident<br />
@@ -231,13 +308,13 @@
People call the Unix mailer<br />
(Though, perhaps, exaggeration,<br />
Or that licence named poetic<br />
-Leads me to commit an error<br />
+Leads me to commit an error</p>
+<p>
Since we know the Unix mailer<br />
To be bigger and more faulty<br />
-Than the liner named Titanic)</p>
-
-<p>Worried now grew Hakawatha<br />
-Tride to kill the background process<br />
+Than the liner named Titanic)<br />
+<span class="indent">Worried now grew Hakawatha</span><br />
+Tried to kill the background process<br />
Tried to bring it to the foreground<br />
Tried to say to the compiler<br />
“That'll do, guv, for the moment”<br />
@@ -245,10 +322,9 @@
Gobbled bytes like no-one's business<br />
Till it seemed as though the system<br />
Would collapse from sheer exhaustion<br />
-From the quantity of page swops<br />
-Needed by this tireless process.</p>
-
-<p>Desperate grew Hakawatha<br />
+From the quantity of page swaps<br />
+Needed by this tireless process.<br />
+<span class="indent">Desperate grew Hakawatha</span><br />
Vivid, yet again, his curses<br />
Purpled the attendant shadows.<br />
Thus the Gods heard Hakawatha<br />
@@ -257,8 +333,15 @@
Firmly told the Unix system<br />
Firmly, to stop all its nonsense<br />
Firmly, to abort the process.</p>
+</div>
+</div>
-<p>Now, this program had a pointer<br />
+<div class="lyrics">
+<h3>Part IV: Hakawatha's Run-Time Error Trapping</h3>
+
+<div class="table">
+<p class="stretch">
+<span class="indent">Now, this program had a pointer</span><br />
Pointing to a record union<br />
Pointing sometimes to a REAL<br />
Or an INTEGER or BOOLEAN<br />
@@ -272,13 +355,13 @@
At each other's lack of morals<br />
Like a crowd of left-wing students<br />
All accusing one another<br />
-Of revisionistic leanings)</p>
-
-<p>In this mess of pure confusion<br />
+Of revisionistic leanings)<br />
+<span class="indent">In this mess of pure confusion</span><br />
(with what seemed to Hakawatha<br />
At the time a stroke of genius<br />
But which now he couldn't clearly<br />
-Understand why he had done it)<br />
+Understand why he had done it)</p>
+<p>
He had placed a simple statement<br />
Placed a simple-looking statement<br />
Re-assigning the FIRST pointer<br />
@@ -286,9 +369,8 @@
QUITE remember where he'd put it,<br />
Felt that this might be the reason<br />
Why his program wasn't working<br />
-Wasn't doing what he wanted.</p>
-
-<p>This occasioned some frustration<br />
+Wasn't doing what he wanted.<br />
+<span class="indent">This occasioned some frustration</span><br />
Caused the noble Hakawatha<br />
To commit profane expletives<br />
Caused him to cry out “Debug her!”<br />
@@ -298,64 +380,79 @@
Computation of factorial!<br />
Stuff this for a game of soldiers!<br />
I am going to the staff club<br />
-For a pint of Romfords' Glory!”</p>
-
-<p>Thus departed Hakawatha.</p>
+For a pint of Romfords' Glory!”<br />
+<br />
+<span class="end">Thus departed Hakawatha.</span></p>
+</div>
</div>
-<p>Hope you like it</p>
-
-<p>Paul Boyd</p>
-
-<p>—<br />
-Submitted by Paul Boyd.</p>
-
-<p>Not sure where this came from, i've had it around for well over 10
-years now</p>
-</blockquote>
-
-<p>This joke is also available in <a href="/fun/jokes/haka">plain
-text</a>.</p>
-
-<p><a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a> in the GNU Humor
-Collection.</p>
-
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4>
-<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the
-FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email archives</a> of the GNU
-Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/haka">Plain
+text version</a></p>
+<div class="infobox">
+<hr />
+<p><cite>The Song of Hakawatha</cite> is a parody of
+<a href="https://www.hwlongfellow.org/poems_poem.php?pid=62";>
+<cite>The Song of Hiawatha</cite></a> by H. W. Longfellow.</p>
+
+<p>This poem was submitted by Paul Boyd in 2000:</p>
+<blockquote><p>
+ <i>Not sure where this came from, i've had it around for well over 10
+ years now. Hope you like it.</i><br />
+ —Paul Boyd
+</p></blockquote>
+
+<p>According to Wikipedia, <cite>The Song of Hakawatha</cite> was
+written by <a
+href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_W._Shields#F._X._Reid";>
+Michael W. Shield under the pen name of F. X. Reid</a>.
+He probably wrote the original version <a
+href="https://web.archive.org/web/20020810192312/http://www.ducasi.org/hakawatha.html";>
+in the early eighties</a>. The version on this page seems
+a little more recent, because it mentions the end of the UK miners' strike
+(1985) while the original version alludes to the catastrophic rise in
+unemployment, which peaked around 1983.</p>
+</div>
</div>
+</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
+<div class="unprintable">
-<div id="footer">
-<p>
-Please send FSF & GNU inquiries to
-<a href="mailto:gnu@gnu.org";><gnu@gnu.org></a>. There are
-also <a href="/contact/">other ways to contact</a> the FSF.
-<br />
-Please send broken links and other corrections or suggestions to
-<a href="mailto:webmasters@gnu.org";><webmasters@gnu.org></a>.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Please see the
-<a href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
-of this article.
-</p>
+<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
+<a href="mailto:gnu@gnu.org";><gnu@gnu.org></a>.
+There are also <a href="/contact/">other ways to contact</a>
+the FSF. Broken links and other corrections or suggestions can be sent
+to <a href="mailto:webmasters@gnu.org";><webmasters@gnu.org></a>.</p>
+
+<p><!-- TRANSLATORS: Ignore the original text in this paragraph,
+ replace it with the translation of these two:
+
+ We work hard and do our best to provide accurate, good quality
+ translations. However, we are not exempt from imperfection.
+ Please send your comments and general suggestions in this regard
+ to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
+ <web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
+
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
+ our web pages, see <a
+ href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
+ README</a>. -->
+Please see the <a
+href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
+of this article.</p>
+</div>
<!--#include virtual="/server/bottom-notes.html" -->
-<p>Updated:
+<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2020/07/06 13:43:09 $
+$Date: 2021/07/11 20:41:11 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: last.bug.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/last.bug.html,v
retrieving revision 1.18
retrieving revision 1.19
diff -u -b -r1.18 -r1.19
--- last.bug.html 18 Apr 2021 10:27:56 -0000 1.18
+++ last.bug.html 11 Jul 2021 20:41:11 -0000 1.19
@@ -1,82 +1,85 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
-<title>The Last Bug - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation (FSF)</title>
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
+<title>The Last Bug - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
+<style type="text/css" media="print,screen"><!--
+.break { display: none; }
+@media (max-width: 34em) {
+ .lyrics { display: block; width: 20em; margin: auto; }
+ .break { display: inline; }
+ .lyrics span { text-transform: uppercase; }
+}
+--></style>
<!--#include virtual="/fun/jokes/po/last.bug.translist" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#Poems">Poems</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>The Last Bug</h2>
+
<address class="byline">by Lou Ellen Davis</address>
-<div class="article">
<div class="lyrics">
-<p>“But you're out of your mind,”<br />
-They said with a shrug.<br />
-“The customer's happy;<br />
-What's one little bug?”</p>
+<p>“But you're out of your mind,”<br class="break" />
+<span>t</span>hey said with a shrug.<br />
+“The customer's happy;<br class="break" />
+<span>w</span>hat's one little bug?”</p>
-<p>But he was determined.<br />
+<p>But he was determined.<br class="break" />
The others went home.<br />
-He spread out the program,<br />
-Deserted, alone.</p>
+He spread out the program,<br class="break" />
+<span>d</span>eserted, alone.</p>
-<p>The cleaning men came,<br />
-The whole room was cluttered<br />
-With memory-dumps, punch cards.<br />
+<p>The cleaning men came,<br class="break" />
+<span>t</span>he whole room was cluttered<br />
+With memory-dumps, punch cards.<br class="break" />
“I'm close,” he muttered.</p>
-<p>The mumbling got louder,<br />
-Simple deduction,<br />
-“I've got it, it's right,<br />
-Just change one instruction.”</p>
-
-<p>It still wasn't perfect,<br />
-As year followed year,<br />
-And strangers would comment,<br />
+<p>The mumbling got louder,<br class="break" />
+<span>s</span>imple deduction,<br />
+“I've got it, it's right,<br class="break" />
+<span>j</span>ust change one instruction.”</p>
+
+<p>It still wasn't perfect,<br class="break" />
+<span>a</span>s year followed year,<br />
+And strangers would comment,<br class="break" />
“Is that guy still here?”</p>
-<p>He died at the console,<br />
-Of hunger and thirst.<br />
-Next day he was buried,<br />
-Face down, nine-edge first.</p>
-
-<p>And the last bug in sight,<br />
-An ant passing by,<br />
-Saluted his tombstone,<br />
-And whispered, “Nice try.”</p>
+<p>He died at the console,<br class="break" />
+<span>o</span>f hunger and thirst.<br />
+Next day he was buried,<br class="break" />
+<span>f</span>ace down, nine-edge first.</p>
+
+<p>And the last bug in sight,<br class="break" />
+<span>a</span>n ant passing by,<br />
+Saluted his tombstone,<br class="break" />
+<span>a</span>nd whispered, “Nice try.”</p>
</div>
-<p style="display: inline-block; margin-top: 0">
-<small>This poem is also available in <a href="/fun/jokes/last.bug">plain
-text</a>.</small></p>
+<p class="button right-align clear">
+<a href="/fun/jokes/last.bug.txt">Plain text version</a></p>
<p>Thanks to David Larrabee for enabling us to credit the author, and
-decoding a sentence that may look strange to younger generations:</p>
+for decoding a sentence that may look strange to younger generations:</p>
<blockquote>
-<p>This is a great poem. The copy I have (which dates to the early 1970's)
+<p><i>This is a great poem. The copy I have (which dates to the early 1970's)
credits Lou Ellen Davis with writing the poem in December of 1967: an era
of IBM cards, their readers (put the card in face down, 9-edge first), and
-9-track Mag tapes…</p>
+9-track Mag tapes…</i></p>
</blockquote>
</div>
-<p class="button right-align">Other poems, songs and jokes in the
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">GNU Humor Collection</a></p>
-
-
-<div class="infobox clear">
-<hr />
-<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
-<p>The poem on this page was obtained from the
-FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email archives</a> of the GNU
-Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this work.</p>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-</div>
+</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer" class="contentinfo">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -92,14 +95,15 @@
translations of this article.
</p>
</div>
+
<!--#include virtual="/server/bottom-notes.html" -->
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2021/04/18 10:27:56 $
+$Date: 2021/07/11 20:41:11 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: midnight.dreary.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/midnight.dreary.html,v
retrieving revision 1.11
retrieving revision 1.12
diff -u -b -r1.11 -r1.12
--- midnight.dreary.html 12 Aug 2014 05:04:09 -0000 1.11
+++ midnight.dreary.html 11 Jul 2021 20:41:11 -0000 1.12
@@ -1,85 +1,125 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.77 -->
-
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>Midnight Dreary - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
-
+<style type="text/css" media="print,screen">
+.reduced-width { width: 40em; }
+<!--
+.lyrics span { color: #572385; }
+--></style>
<!--#include virtual="/server/gnun/initial-translations-list.html" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#Poems">Poems</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>Midnight Dreary</h2>
-<pre>
-A friend of mine sent the following to me (apologies to Edgar Allan Poe...)
-Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,
-System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor
-Longing for the warmth of bedsheets,
-Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets;
-Having reached the bottom line,
-I took a floppy from the drawer.
-Typing with a steady hand, then invoked the SAVE command
-But I got a reprimand: it read "Abort, Retry, Ignore."
-
-Was this some occult illusion? Some maniacal intrusion?
-These were choices Solomon himself had never faced before.
-Carefully, I weighed my options.
-These three seemed to be the top ones.
-Clearly I must now adopt one:
-Choose "Abort, Retry, Ignore."
-
-With my fingers pale and trembling,
-SLowly toward the keyboard bending,
-Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored,
-Praying for some guarantee
-Finally I pressed a key--
-But on the screen what did I see?
-Again: "Abort, Retry, Ignore."
-
-I tried to catch the chips off-guard--
-I pressed again, but twice as hard.
-Luck was just not in the cards.
-I saw what I had seen before.
-Now I typed in desperation
-Trying random combinations
-Still there came the incantation:
-Choose: "Abort, Retry, Ignore."
-
-There I sat, distraught exhausted, by my own machine accosted
-Getting up I turned away and paced across the office floor.
-And then I saw an awful sight:
-A bold and blinding flash of light--
-A lightning bolt had cut the night and shook me to my very core.
-I saw the screen collapse and die
-"Oh no--my data base," I cried
-I thought I heard a voice reply,
-"You'll see your data Nevermore!"
-
-To this day I do not know
-The place to which lost data goes
-I bet it goes to heaven where the angels have it stored
-But as for productivity, well
-I fear that IT goes straight to hell
-And that's the tale I have to tell
-Your choice: "Abort, Retry, Ignore."
-
---
-Edited by Brad Templeton.
-
-</pre>
-
-<p>
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a>
-in the GNU Humor Collection.</p>
-
-<div class="infobox">
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4><p>The joke on this page was
-obtained from the FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email
-archives</a> of the GNU Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+<address class="byline">by Marcus Bales</address>
+
+<p>With apologies to Edgar Allan Poe…</p>
+
+<div class="lyrics">
+<p class="p-left">
+Once upon a midnight dreary,<br />
+Fingers cramped and vision bleary,<br />
+System manuals piled high<br />
+And wasted paper on the floor,<br />
+Longing for the warmth of bedsheets,<br />
+Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets.<br />
+Having reached the bottom line,<br />
+I took a floppy from the drawer.<br />
+Typing with a steady hand,<br />
+I then invoked the <code>save</code> command<br />
+But got instead a reprimand:<br />
+<span>It read “Abort, Retry, Ignore.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="p-right">
+Was this some occult illusion?<br />
+Some maniacal intrusion?<br />
+These were choices Solomon himself<br />
+Had never faced before.<br />
+Carefully, I weighed my options.<br />
+These three seemed to be the top ones.<br />
+Clearly I must now adopt one:<br />
+<span>Choose “Abort, Retry, Ignore.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="p-left">
+With my fingers pale and trembling,<br />
+Slowly toward the keyboard bending,<br />
+Longing for a happy ending,<br />
+Hoping all would be restored,<br />
+Praying for some guarantee,<br />
+Finally I pressed a key—<br />
+But on the screen what did I see?<br />
+<span>Again: “Abort, Retry, Ignore.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="p-right">
+I tried to catch the chips off-guard—<br />
+I pressed again, but twice as hard.<br />
+Luck was just not in the cards.<br />
+I saw what I had seen before.<br />
+Now I typed in desperation,<br />
+Trying random combinations.<br />
+Still there came the incantation:<br />
+<span>Choose: “Abort, Retry, Ignore.”</span></p>
+
+<p class="p-left">
+There I sat, distraught, exhausted,<br />
+By my own machine accosted;<br />
+Getting up, I turned away<br />
+And paced across the office floor.<br />
+And then I saw an awful sight:<br />
+A bold and blinding flash of light,<br />
+A lightning bolt that cut the night<br />
+And shook me to my very core.<br />
+The PC screen collapsed and died.<br />
+“Oh no—my database,” I cried.<br />
+I thought I heard a voice reply,<br />
+<span>“You'll see your data—Nevermore!”</span></p>
+
+<p class="p-right">
+To this day I do not know<br />
+The place to which lost data goes.<br />
+Perhaps it goes to heaven<br />
+Where the angels have it stored.<br />
+But as for productivity, well,<br />
+I fear that <b>it</b> goes straight to hell.<br />
+And that's the tale I have to tell—<br />
+<span>Your choice: “Abort, Retry, Ignore.”</span></p>
+<div class="clear"></div>
+</div>
+
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/midnight.dreary.txt">Plain
+text version</a></p>
+
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<p>Source (edited by Brad Templeton): <a
+href="https://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/91q3/nevermo.html";>
+rec.humor.funny</a> (1991). See the plain text version.</p>
+
+<p>This poem is one of the <a
+href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allusions_to_Poe%27s_%22The_Raven%22#Other";>
+numerous parodies</a> of <a
+href="https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/48860/the-raven";>The Raven</a>
+by Edgar Allan Poe, several of which inspired by the DOS error message
+“Abort, Retry, Ignore?” The one we present here is pretty close
+to what is considered the <a
+href="http://www.silverberch.com/poe3.html#geeksraven";>ancestor</a> of this
+family.</p>
+</div>
</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -97,13 +137,13 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
@@ -111,10 +151,10 @@
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2014/08/12 05:04:09 $
+$Date: 2021/07/11 20:41:11 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: networkologist.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/networkologist.html,v
retrieving revision 1.11
retrieving revision 1.12
diff -u -b -r1.11 -r1.12
--- networkologist.html 12 Aug 2014 05:04:09 -0000 1.11
+++ networkologist.html 11 Jul 2021 20:41:11 -0000 1.12
@@ -1,90 +1,107 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.77 -->
-
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>Networkologist - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
-
+<style type="text/css" media="print,screen">
+.reduced-width { width: 42em; }
+<!--
+h2 small { font-weight: normal; }
+--></style>
<!--#include virtual="/server/gnun/initial-translations-list.html" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#Poems">Poems</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
+<h2>A Networkologist's Christmas <small>(v3.1)</small></h2>
-<h2>A Networkologist's Christmas (v3.1)</h2>
+<address class="byline">by Timothy Haight</address>
-<pre>
-A Networkologist's Christmas (v3.1)
-" 'Tis the night before Christmas," , I thought with a frown.
-I was stuck at the office. The network was down.
-The routers were hung in the closet, all crashed.
-Their tables had holes in their data, all trashed.
-Remote distribution, it seems, just for fun,
-had erased DLLs Windows needed to run,
-on 84 desktops, way down in accounting.
-I sat stunned at my desk, my blood pressure mounting.
-When all of a sudden there arose such a clatter,
-I saw that a server had something the matter.
-There was smoke coming out of the main hard disk drive.
-"No problem," I thought, "I'm set up with RAID 5.".
-But I found out the system I thought was unstoppable
-had disk drives that turned out completely unswappable!
-"No problem," I thought, "I've tape backup to thank.".
-And then I discovered my backups were blank.
-The UPS burped, and its lights all went out.
-I started to scream! I started to shout!
-But nobody heard as I vented my rage,
-my gurus were all on vacation those days,
-and nobody's tech support answered the phone.
-I was nose deep in trouble, completely alone,
-when out at reception, I heard a soft knock.
-As the hands just touched midnight on my desktop clock...
-"What's your problem?", he asked,
-"Never mind, friend, I know.
-I checked out your network five hours ago.
-I did some proactive analysis, so
-I knew that this time bomb was going to blow."
-Who was this guy? Who did he think that he was?
-He was dressed in red coveralls, white beard, black gloves.
-His eyes had the twinkle of technical genius.
-His smile cut down personal distance between us.
-He spread out his tools, and went straight to his work.
-"Whoever configured this network's a jerk.",
-he said with a :-)> as he quickly rebooted,
-uploaded some software, and smoothly rerouted
-the LAN to a WAN that he quickly supplied
-with bandwidth at least 20 gigabits wide
-that went via wireless, I think, LEO,
-to tech support elves waiting at the North Pole.
-"Now bridging, now routing, now Ethernet hubs!",
-He chanted as each piece of hardware he rubbed.
-"Cheer up, my good friend!
-Lose that mindset so tragic!
-Technology often looks just like some magic
-To people who don't understand what we do.
-Now a switch, emulation, now middleware glue!
-Look at the protocols, check one or two,
-Debug a bit, test a bit, presto! We're through!"
-My data was back! Every system checked out!
-Tears of joy wet my face as I wandered about.
-"How can I thank you? You must be Saint Nick!"
-He said, "Really, my friend, it's not such a great trick,
-If you don't give up hope, focus on what you're doing,
-And read all your issues of NETWORK COMPUTING."
-And I heard him exclaim, as his reindeer were coursing,
-"Merry Christmas to all! And consider outsourcing!"
- -by Timothy Haight
-</pre>
-
-<p>
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a>
-in the GNU Humor Collection.</p>
-
-<div class="infobox">
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4><p>The song on this page was
-obtained from the FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email
-archives</a> of the GNU Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this song.</p>
+<div class="lyrics">
+<p>
+“'Tis the night before Christmas,” I thought with a frown.<br />
+I was stuck at the office. The network was down.<br />
+The routers were hung in the closet, all crashed.<br />
+Their tables had holes in their data, all trashed.<br />
+Remote distribution, it seems, just for fun,<br />
+had erased DLLs Windows needed to run,<br />
+on 84 desktops, way down in accounting.<br />
+I sat stunned at my desk, my blood pressure mounting.</p>
+<p>
+When all of a sudden there arose such a clatter,<br />
+I saw that a server had something the matter.<br />
+There was smoke coming out of the main hard disk drive.<br />
+“No problem,” I thought, “I'm set up with RAID 5.”<br
/>
+But I found out the system I thought was unstoppable<br />
+had disk drives that turned out completely unswappable!<br />
+“No problem,” I thought, “I've tape backup to
thank.”<br />
+And then I discovered my backups were blank.</p>
+<p>
+The UPS burped, and its lights all went out.<br />
+I started to scream! I started to shout!<br />
+But nobody heard as I vented my rage,<br />
+my gurus were all on vacation those days,<br />
+and nobody's tech support answered the phone.<br />
+I was nose deep in trouble, completely alone,<br />
+when out at reception, I heard a soft knock.<br />
+As the hands just touched midnight on my desktop clock…</p>
+<p>
+“What's your problem?”, he asked; “Never mind, friend, I
know.<br />
+I checked out your network five hours ago.<br />
+I did some proactive analysis, so<br />
+I knew that this time bomb was going to blow.”<br />
+Who was this guy? Who did he think that he was?<br />
+He was dressed in red coveralls, white beard, black gloves.<br />
+His eyes had the twinkle of technical genius.<br />
+His smile cut down personal distance between us.</p>
+<p>
+He spread out his tools, and went straight to his work.<br />
+“Whoever configured this network's a jerk,”<br />
+he said with a :-)> as he quickly rebooted,<br />
+uploaded some software, and smoothly rerouted<br />
+the LAN to a WAN that he quickly supplied<br />
+with bandwidth at least 20 gigabits wide<br />
+that went via wireless, I think, LEO,<br />
+to tech support elves waiting at the North Pole.</p>
+<p>
+“Now bridging, now routing, now Ethernet hubs!”<br />
+He chanted as each piece of hardware he rubbed.<br />
+“Cheer up, my good friend! Lose that mindset so tragic!<br />
+Technology often looks just like some magic<br />
+To people who don't understand what we do.<br />
+Now a switch, emulation, now middleware glue!<br />
+Look at the protocols, check one or two,<br />
+Debug a bit, test a bit, presto! We're through!”</p>
+<p>
+My data was back! Every system checked out!<br />
+Tears of joy wet my face as I wandered about.<br />
+“How can I thank you? You must be Saint Nick!”<br />
+He said, “Really, my friend, it's not such a great trick,<br />
+If you don't give up hope, focus on what you're doing,<br />
+And read all your issues of <b>network computing</b>.”<br />
+And I heard him exclaim, as his reindeer were coursing,<br />
+“Merry Christmas to all! And consider outsourcing!”</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/networkologist.txt">Plain
+text version</a></p>
+
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<p>Source: email archives of the GNU Project (1996). See the plain text
+version.</p>
+</div>
</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -102,13 +119,13 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
@@ -116,10 +133,10 @@
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2014/08/12 05:04:09 $
+$Date: 2021/07/11 20:41:11 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
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-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
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