Re: [libreplanet-discuss] Apologies

[Aaron Wolf]

Adrienne, that's a valid concern. People shouldn't be walking on
eggshells. However, that's a misreading of the case here. This is more
like 'Smee realizing on self-reflection that they actually *were* making
assumptions and not being as considerate as they wish to be. I don't
think this apology was an insincere fear-based one but one in which it's
a modeling of holding oneself to a high standard.

Again, you're right in that we live in a context where *reasonable*
discourse gets grotesquely misrepresented and then people self-censor
out of fear. That is a totally valid problem, and we should not accept
it as okay.

At the same time, we should work to treat everyone with some
benefit-of-the-doubt and compassion. And there's nothing wrong with
apologizing for not living up to that standard, even if someone's worst
was *still* better than many people's normal.

If I write something from a defensive, reactionary mindset, I would hope
to recognize it and apologize if I failed to check myself before sending
it. That's independent from the fact that my emotional reactionary
writing might still be more respectful than most people's non-emotional
postings.


On 2019-09-24 10:56 a.m., Adrienne G. Thompson wrote:
>    Gee 'Smee:
>    Things are getting a little out of hand. So now guys can't have
>    reasonable arguments with women without feeling like they're being
>    "combative"? Are you afraid someone might call you "sexist"?
>    I didn't see where you said anything objectionable or "combative".
>    Adrienne
>    On Tue, Sep 24, 2019 at 12:43 PM 'smee via libreplanet-discuss
>    <[1]libreplanet-discuss@libreplanet.org> wrote:
> 
>      I was combative in my language with Deb earlier and would like to
>      apologize and say I'll do better in the future.
>      I assumed bad intentions and acted out of irritation. I'll do better
>      in
>      the future to consider that there are real people with real concerns
>      and try not to be combative.
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>      s
> 
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