www/fun/jokes foreign-signs.html foreign-signs.txt

[John Sullivan]

CVSROOT:        /web/www
Module name:    www
Changes by:     John Sullivan <johnsu01>        15/07/30 23:21:42

Removed files:
        fun/jokes      : foreign-signs.html foreign-signs.txt 

Log message:
        Not funny.

CVSWeb URLs:
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/foreign-signs.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.16&r2=0
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/foreign-signs.txt?cvsroot=www&r1=1.1&r2=0

Patches:
Index: foreign-signs.html
===================================================================
RCS file: foreign-signs.html
diff -N foreign-signs.html
--- foreign-signs.html  7 Jul 2015 05:53:16 -0000       1.16
+++ /dev/null   1 Jan 1970 00:00:00 -0000
@@ -1,232 +0,0 @@
-<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.78 -->
-<title>Foreign Signs - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
-<!--#include virtual="/fun/jokes/po/foreign-signs.translist" -->
-<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-<h2>Foreign Signs</h2>
-
-<dl>
-<dt>In a Tokyo Hotel:</dt>
-<dd>Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please.  If you are not person
-to do such thing is please not to read notis.</dd>
-
-<dt>In another Japanese hotel room:</dt>
-<dd>Please to bathe inside the tub.</dd>
-
-<dt>In a Bucharest hotel lobby:</dt>
-<dd>The lift is being fixed for the next day.  During that time we
-regret that you will be unbearable.</dd>
-
-<dt>In a Leipzig elevator:</dt>
-<dd>Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.</dd>
-
-<dt>In a Belgrade hotel elevator:</dt>
-<dd>To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor.  If the cabin
-should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing
-floor.  Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.</dd>
-
-<dt>In a Paris hotel elevator:</dt>
-<dd>Please leave your values at the front desk.</dd>
-
-<dt>In a hotel in Athens:</dt>
-<dd>Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours
-of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.</dd>
-
-<dt>In a Yugoslavian hotel:</dt>
-<dd>The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the
-chambermaid.</dd>
-
-<dt>In a Japanese hotel:</dt>
-<dd>You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.</dd>
-
-<dt>In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox
-monastery:</dt>
-<dd>You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and
-Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except
-Thursday.</dd>
-
-<dt>In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:</dt>
-<dd>Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the
-boots of ascension.</dd>
-
-<dt>On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:</dt>
-<dd>Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.</dd>
-
-<dt>On the menu of a Polish hotel:</dt>
-<dd>Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy
-dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef
-rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.</dd>
-
-<dt>In a Hong Kong supermarket:</dt>
-<dd>For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient
-self-service.</dd>
-
-<dt>Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:</dt>
-<dd>Ladies may have a fit upstairs.</dd>
-
-<dt>In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:</dt>
-<dd>Drop your trousers here for best results.</dd>
-
-<dt>Outside a Paris dress shop:</dt>
-<dd>Dresses for street walking.</dd>
-
-<dt>In a Rhodes tailor shop:</dt>
-<dd>Order your summers suit.  Because is big rush we will execute
-customers in strict rotation.</dd>
-
-<dt>Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly:</dt>
-<dd>There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet
-Republic painters and sculptors.  These were executed over the past
-two years.</dd>
-
-<dt>In an East African newspaper:</dt>
-<dd>A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors
-have thrown in the bulk of their workers.</dd>
-
-<dt>In a Vienna hotel:</dt>
-<dd>In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.</dd>
-
-<dt>A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:</dt>
-<dd>It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that
-people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in
-one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.</dd>
-
-<dt>In a Zurich hotel:</dt>
-<dd>Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite
-sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this
-purpose.</dd>
-
-<dt>In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:</dt>
-<dd>Teeth extrcted by the latest Methodists.</dd>
-
-<dt>A translated sentence from a Russian chess book:</dt>
-<dd>A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this
-variation has been played.</dd>
-
-<dt>In a Rome laundry:</dt>
-<dd>Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a
-good time.</dd>
-
-<dt>In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:</dt>
-<dd>Take one of our horse-driven city tours&mdash;we guarantee no
-miscarriages.</dd>
-
-<dt>Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:</dt>
-<dd>Would you like to ride on your own ass?</dd>
-
-<dt>On the faucet in a Finnish washroom:</dt>
-<dd>To stop the drip, turn cock to right.</dd>
-
-<dt>In the window of a Swedish furrier:</dt>
-<dd>Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.</dd>
-
-<dt>On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:</dt>
-<dd>Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.</dd>
-
-<dt>Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan:</dt>
-<dd>Stop: Drive Sideways.</dd>
-
-<dt>In a Swiss mountain inn:</dt>
-<dd>Special today&mdash;no ice cream.</dd>
-
-<dt>In a Bangkok temple:</dt>
-<dd>It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a
-man.</dd>
-
-<dt>In a Tokyo bar:</dt>
-<dd>Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.</dd>
-
-<dt>In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:</dt>
-<dd>We take your bags and send them in all directions.</dd>
-
-<dt>On the door of a Moscow hotel room:</dt>
-<dd>If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to
-it.</dd>
-
-<dt>In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:</dt>
-<dd>Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.</dd>
-
-<dt>At a Budapest zoo:</dt>
-<dd>Please do not feed the animals.  If you have any suitable food,
-give it to the guard on duty.</dd>
-
-<dt>In the office of a Roman doctor:</dt>
-<dd>Specialist in women and other diseases.</dd>
-
-<dt>In an Acapulco hotel:</dt>
-<dd>The manager has personally passed all the water served here.</dd>
-
-<dt>In a Tokyo shop:</dt>
-<dd>Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in
-the long run.</dd>
-
-<dt>From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air
-conditioner:</dt>
-<dd>Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your
-room, please control yourself.</dd>
-
-<dt>From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:</dt>
-<dd>When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.  Trumpet
-him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then
-tootle him with vigor.</dd>
-
-<dt>Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:</dt>
-<dd><ul>
-<li>English well talking.</li>
-<li>Here speeching American.</li>
-</ul></dd>
-</dl>
-
-<p>This joke is also available in <a href="/fun/jokes/foreign-signs">
-plain text</a>.</p>
-
-<p><a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a> in the GNU Humor
-Collection.</p>
-
-<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
-<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the
-FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email archives</a> of the GNU
-Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
-
-</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
-<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
-<div class="unprintable">
-
-<p>Please send general FSF &amp; GNU inquiries to
-<a href="mailto:address@hidden";>&lt;address@hidden&gt;</a>.
-There are also <a href="/contact/">other ways to contact</a>
-the FSF.  Broken links and other corrections or suggestions can be sent
-to <a href="mailto:address@hidden";>&lt;address@hidden&gt;</a>.</p>
-
-<p><!-- TRANSLATORS: Ignore the original text in this paragraph,
-        replace it with the translation of these two:
-
-        We work hard and do our best to provide accurate, good quality
-        translations.  However, we are not exempt from imperfection.
-        Please send your comments and general suggestions in this regard
-        to <a href="mailto:address@hidden";>
-        &lt;address@hidden&gt;</a>.</p>
-
-        <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
-        our web pages, see <a
-        href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-        README</a>. -->
-Please see the <a
-href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
-of this article.</p>
-</div>
-
-<!--#include virtual="/server/bottom-notes.html" -->
-
-<p class="unprintable">Updated:
-<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2015/07/07 05:53:16 $
-<!-- timestamp end -->
-</p>
-</div>
-</div>
-</body>
-</html>

Index: foreign-signs.txt
===================================================================
RCS file: foreign-signs.txt
diff -N foreign-signs.txt
--- foreign-signs.txt   23 Dec 2011 05:23:58 -0000      1.1
+++ /dev/null   1 Jan 1970 00:00:00 -0000
@@ -1,139 +0,0 @@
-In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please.  If you
-are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
-
-In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
-
-In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day.
-During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
-
-In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when
-lit up.
-
-In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for
-wishing floor.  If the cabin should enter more persons, each one
-should press a number of wishing floor.  Driving is then going
-alphabetically by national order.
-
-In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front  
-desk.
-
-In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office
-between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
-
-In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is
-the job of the chambermaid.
-
-In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the
-chambermaid.
-
-In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox
-monastary: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian
-and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except
-Thursday.
-
-In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the
-corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
-
-On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope
-for.
-
-On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red
-beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck
-let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
-
-In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend
-courageous, efficient self-service.
-
-Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
-
-In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results.
-
-Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.
-
-In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit.  Because is big rush
-we will execute customers in strict rotation.
-
-Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition
-of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors.  These were
-executed over the past two years.
-
-In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking
-shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
-
-In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel
-porter.
-
-A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on
-our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for
-instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are
-married with each other for that purpose.
-
-In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests
-of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be
-used for this purpose.
-
-In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extrcted by the
-latest Methodists.
-
-A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water has
-been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.
-
-In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the
-afternoon having a good time.
-
-In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city
-tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.
-
-Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on
-your own ass?
-
-On the faucet in a Finnish washroom: To stop the drip, turn cock to
-right.
-
-In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from
-their own skin.
-
-On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work
-throughout its useful life.
-
-Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.
-
-In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream.
-
-In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner
-if dressed as a man.
-
-In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
-
-In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them
-in all directions.
-
-On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the
-USSR, you are welcome to it.
-
-In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have
-children in the bar.
-
-At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals.  If you have any
-suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
-
-In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other
-diseases.
-
-In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water
-served here.
-
-In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find
-they are best in the long run.
-
-From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air
-conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in
-your room, please control yourself.
-
-From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot
-heave in sight, tootle the horn.  Trumpet him melodiously at first,
-but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
-
-Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
-  - English well talking.
-  - Here speeching American.