[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]
www/fun/jokes gnu.jive.html gnu.jive.txt
|
From: |
John Sullivan |
|
Subject: |
www/fun/jokes gnu.jive.html gnu.jive.txt |
|
Date: |
Thu, 30 Jul 2015 23:19:19 +0000 |
CVSROOT: /web/www
Module name: www
Changes by: John Sullivan <johnsu01> 15/07/30 23:19:19
Removed files:
fun/jokes : gnu.jive.html gnu.jive.txt
Log message:
Not funny.
CVSWeb URLs:
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/gnu.jive.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.16&r2=0
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/gnu.jive.txt?cvsroot=www&r1=1.1&r2=0
Patches:
Index: gnu.jive.html
===================================================================
RCS file: gnu.jive.html
diff -N gnu.jive.html
--- gnu.jive.html 28 Feb 2013 17:09:07 -0000 1.16
+++ /dev/null 1 Jan 1970 00:00:00 -0000
@@ -1,584 +0,0 @@
-<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<title>GNU Jive - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation (FSF)</title>
-<!--#include virtual="/fun/jokes/po/gnu.jive.translist" -->
-<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-<h2>GNU Jive</h2>
-
-<blockquote><p>
-No, no one's circulating this — I ran the plain GNU Manifesto
-through a lex script called “jive”.</p>
-
-<p>“To avoid ho'rible confusion, please pronounce da damn
-‘G’ in de wo'd ‘GNU’ when it be de dojigger uh
-dis project.”</p>
-
-<p>--Rob</p>
-
-<pre><!--TRANSLATORS: Do not translate this, just copy it verbatim.-->
- De GNU Manifesto
-
-Copyright (C) 1985 Richard M. Stallman
- (Copyin' puh'mission notice at da damn end.)
-
-What's GNU? Gnu's Not Unix. Right On!
-
-GNU, which stands fo' Gnu's Not Unix, be de dojigger fo' de complete
-Unix-compatible software system which ah' am writin' so's dat ah' can
-give it away free t'everyone who kin use it. Several oda' volunteers
-are helpin' me. What it is, Mama! Contribushuns uh time, bre'd,
-honky codes and equipment are greatly needed.
-
-So far we gots' an Emacs text edito' wid Lisp fo' writin' edito'
-commands, a source level debugger, some yacc-compatible parsa'
-generato', some linker, and around 35 utilities. A shell (command
-interpreter) be nearly completed. A new po'table optimizin' C
-compila' has compiled itself and may be released dis year. Ah be
-baaad... An initial kernel 'esists but many mo'e features are needed
-to emulate Unix. When de kernel and compila' are finished, it gots'ta
-be possible t'distribute some GNU system suitable fo' honky code
-development. We gots'ta use @TeX{} as our text fo'matter, but an
-nroff be bein' wo'ked on. 'S coo', bro. We gots'ta use da damn free,
-po'table X window system as sheeit. Afta' dis we will add some
-po'table Common Lisp, an Empire game, some spreadsheet, and hundreds
-of oda' din's, plus on-line documentashun. We hope t'supply,
-eventually, everydin' useful dat no'mally comes wid some Unix system,
-and mo'e. What it is, Mama!
-
-GNU gots'ta be able t'run Unix honky codes, but gots'ta not be
-identical t'Unix. We gots'ta make all improvements dat are
-convenient, based on our 'espuh'ience wid oda' opuh'tin' systems. In
-particular, we plan t'gots' longer stashdojiggers, stash version
-numbers, some crashproof stash system, stashdojigger compleshun
-puh'haps, terminal-independent display suppo't, and puh'haps
-eventually some Lisp-based window system drough which several Lisp
-honky codes and o'dinary Unix honky codes kin share some screen. 'S
-coo', bro. Bod C and Lisp gots'ta be available as system honky
-codemin' languages. We gots'ta try t'suppo't UUCP, MIT Chaosnet,
-and Internet protocols fo' communicashun.
-
-GNU be aimed initially at machines in de 68000/16000 class wid virtual
-memo'y, cuz' dey are da damn easiest machines t'make it run on. 'S
-coo', bro. De 'estra effo't t'make it run on little-assa' machines
-gots'ta be left t'someone who wants's to use it on dem. 'S coo', bro.
-
-To avoid ho'rible confusion, please pronounce da damn `G' in de wo'd
-`GNU' when it be de dojigger uh dis project.
-
-
-Who Am I?
-
-I's gots'ta be Richard Stallman, invento' uh de o'iginal much-imitated
-EMACS edito', fo'merly at da damn Artificial Intelligence Lab at MIT.
-ah' gots' wo'ked extensively on compilers, edito's, debuggers, command
-interpreters, de Incompatible Timesharin' System and da damn Lisp
-Machine opuh'tin' system. 'S coo', bro. I pioneered terminal-
-independent display suppo't in ITS. Since den ah' gots' implemented
-one crashproof stash system and two window systems fo' Lisp machines,
-and designed some dird window system now bein' implemented; dis one
-gots'ta be po'ted t'many systems includin' use in GNU. ['Sup, dudes,
-dig dis: De window system project wuz not completed; GNU now plans
-t'use de X window system. 'S coo', bro.]
-
-
-Why ah' Must Write GNU
-
-I consida' dat da damn golden rule requires dat if ah' likes some
-honky code ah' must share it wid oda' sucka's who likes it. Software
-sellers wanna divide de users and conqua' dem, makin' each usa' agree
-not t'share wid oders. ah' refuse t'boogie solidarity wid oda' users
-in dis way. Slap mah fro! I cannot in baaaad conscience sign some
-nondisclosho' nuff agreement o' some software license agreement. Fo'
-years ah' wo'ked widin de Artificial Intelligence Lab t'resist such
-tendencies and oda' inhospitalities, but eventually dey had gone too
-far, dig dis: ah' could not remain in an institushun where such din's
-are done fo' me against mah' will.
-
-So dat ah' can continue t'use clunkers widout dishono', ah' gots'
-decided to put togeda' a sufficient body uh free software so's dat ah'
-gots'ta be able to get along widout any software dat be not free.
-What it is, Mama! ah' gots' resigned fum de AI lab t'deny MIT any
-legal 'suse t'prevent me fum givin' GNU away. Slap mah fro!
-
-
-Why GNU Will Be Compatible wid Unix
-
-Unix be not mah' ideal system, but it be not too bad-ass. De
-essential features of Unix seem t'be baaaad ones, and ah' dink ah' can
-fill in whut Unix lacks widout spoilin' dem. 'S coo', bro. And some
-system compatible wid Unix would be convenient fo' many oda' sucka's
-t'adopt.
-
-
-How GNU Will Be Available
-
-GNU be not in de public domain. 'S coo', bro. Everyone gots'ta be
-puh'mitted t'modify and redistribute GNU, but no distributo' gots'ta
-be allowed t'restrict its furda' redistribushun. Dat be to say,
-proprietary modificashuns gots'ta not be allowed. ah' wanna make sho'
-nuff dat all versions uh GNU remain free. What it is, Mama!
-
-
-Why Many Oda' Programmers Want t'Help
-
-I gots' found many oda' honky codemers who are 'sited about GNU and
-wanna help.
-
-Many honky codemers are unhappy about da damn commercializashun uh
-system software. What it is, Mama! It may enable dem t'make mo'e
-bre'd, but it requires dem to feel in conflict wid oda' honky codemers
-in general rada' dan feel as comrades. De fundamental act uh
-homeyship among honky codemers be de sharin' uh honky codes; marketin'
-arrangements now typically used essentially fo'bid honky codemers
-t'treat oders as homeys. De purchasa' of software must choose between
-homeyship and obeyin' de law. Naturally, many decide dat homeyship be
-mo'e impo'tant. But dose who recon' in law often do not feel at ease
-wid eida' choice. What it is, Mama! Dey become cynical and dink dat
-honky codemin' be plum a way uh makin' bre'd.
-
-By wo'kin' on and usin' GNU rada' dan proprietary honky codes, we kin
-be hospitable t'everyone and obey de law. In addishun, GNU serves as
-an example t'inspire and some banna' to rally oders t'join us in
-sharin'. Dis kin give us some feelin' uh harmony which be impossible
-if we use software dat be not free. What it is, Mama! Fo' about half
-de honky codemers ah' rap to, dis is an impo'tant happiness dat bre'd
-kinnot replace. What it is, Mama!
-
-
-How You's Can Contribute
-
-I's gots'ta be ax'in' clunker manufacturers fo' donashuns uh machines
-and bre'd. I'm ax'in' individuals fo' donashuns uh honky codes and
-wo'k.
-
-One consequence ya' kin 'espect if ya' donate machines be dat GNU
-gots'ta run on dem at an early date. What it is, Mama! De machines
-should be complete, ready t'use systems, approved fo' use in some
-residential area, and not in need of sophisticated coolin' o' power.
-Ah be baaad...
-
-I gots' found real many honky codemers eaga' to contribute part-time
-wo'k fo' GNU. Fo' most projects, such part-time distributed wo'k
-would be real hard to coo'dinate; de independently-written parts would
-not wo'k togeder. Ah be baaad... But fo' de particular tax' uh
-replacin' Unix, dis problem be absent. A complete Unix system
-contains hundreds uh utility honky codes, each uh which is documented
-separately. Slap mah fro! Most interface specificashuns are fixed by
-Unix compatibility. Slap mah fro! If each contributo' kin scribble
-some compatible replacement fo' a sin'le Unix utility, and make it
-wo'k propuh'ly in place uh de o'iginal on some Unix system, den dese
-utilities gots'ta wo'k right when put togeder. Ah be baaad... Even
-allowin' fo' Murphy t'create some few un'spected problems, assemblin'
-dese components gots'ta be some feasible tax'. (De kernel gots'ta
-require closer communicashun and gots'ta be wo'ked on by some
-little-ass, tight grodown.)
-
-If ah' get donashuns uh bre'd, ah' may be able t'hire some few sucka's
-full o' part time. What it is, Mama! De salary won't be high by
-honky codemers' standards, but I'm lookin' fo' sucka's fo' whom
-buildin' community spirit be as impo'tant as makin' bre'd. ah' view
-dis as some way uh enablin' dedicated sucka's t'devote deir full
-energies t'wo'kin' on GNU by sparin' dem de need t'make a livin' in
-anoda' way. Slap mah fro!
-
-
-Why All Computa' Users Will Benefit
-
-Once GNU be written, everyone gots'ta be able t'obtain baaaad system
-software free, plum likes air. Ah be baaad...
-
-Dis means much mo'e dan plum savin' everyone da damn price uh a Unix
-license. What it is, Mama! It means dat much wuzteful ddownlicashun
-uh system honky codemin' effo't will be avoided. Dis effo't kin go
-instead into advancin' de state uh de art.
-
-Complete system sources gots'ta be available t'everyone. What it is,
-Mama! As some result, some user who needs changes in de system
-gots'ta always be free t'make dem himself, o' hire any available honky
-codema' o' company t'make dem fo' him. 'S coo', bro. Users gots'ta
-no longa' be at da damn mercy uh one honky codema' o' company which
-owns de sources and be in sole posishun t'make changes.
-
-Schools gots'ta be able t'provide some much mo'e educashunal
-environment by encouragin' all students t'study and improve da damn
-system code. What it is, Mama! Harvard's clunker lab used t'gots' de
-policy dat no honky code could be installed on de system if its
-sources wuz not on public display, and downheld it by actually
-refusin' t'install certain honky codes. ah' wuz real much inspired by
-dis.
-
-Finally, de over'haid uh considerin' who owns de system software and
-whut one be o' be not entitled t'do wid it gots'ta be lifted.
-
-Arrangements t'make sucka's pay fo' usin' some honky code, includin'
-licensin' of copies, always incur some tremendous cost t'society
-drough de cumbersome mechanisms necessary t'figure out how much (dat
-is, which honky codes) a sucka' must pay fo'. And only some honky
-pigs state kin fo'ce everyone t'obey dem. 'S coo', bro. Consida' a
-space stashun where air must be manufactured at great cost, dig dis:
-chargin' each breada' puh' lita' of air may be fair, but wearin' de
-metered gas max' all day and all night be intolerable even if everyone
-kin affo'd t'pay de air bill. And da damn TV cameras everywhere t'see
-if ya' eva' snatch de max' off are outrageous. It's betta' to
-suppo't da damn air plant wid some 'haid tax and chuck de max's.
-
-Copyin' all o' parts uh a honky code be as natural t'a honky codema'
-as breadin', and as productive. What it is, Mama! It ought t'be as
-free. What it is, Mama!
-
-
-Some Easily Rebutted Objecshuns t'GNU's Goals
-
- "Nobody gots'ta use it if it be free, cuz' dat means
- dey kin't rely on any suppo't."
- "You's gots'ta charge fo' de honky code
- t'pay fo' providin' de suppo't."
-
-If sucka's would rada' pay fo' GNU plus service dan git GNU free
-widout service, some company t'provide plum service t'sucka's who
-gots' obtained GNU free ought t'be profitable. What it is, Mama!
-
-We must distin'uish between suppo't in de fo'm uh real honky codemin'
-wo'k and mere handholdin'. De fo'ma' is sump'n one kinnot rely on fum
-a software vendo'. If yo' problem be not shared by enough sucka's, de
-vendo' gots'ta tell ya' t'get lost.
-
-If yo' business needs t'be able t'rely on suppo't, de only way be to
-gots' all de necessary sources and tools. Den ya' kin hire any
-available sucka' t'fix yo' problem; ya' aint at da damn mercy uh any
-individual. Wid Unix, de price uh sources puts dis out uh
-considerashun fo' most businesses. Wid GNU dis gots'ta be easy. Slap
-mah fro! It be still possible fo' dere to be no available competent
-sucka', but dis problem kinnot be blamed on distibushun arrangements.
-GNU duz not eliminate all de wo'ld's problems, only some uh dem. 'S
-coo', bro.
-
-Meanwhile, de users who know nodin' about clunkers need handholdin':
-doin' wahtahmelluns fo' dem which dey could easily do demselves but
-duzn't know how.
-
-Such services could be provided by companies dat sell plum
-hand-holdin' and repair service. What it is, Mama! If it be true dat
-users would rada' spend bre'd and get some product wid service, dey
-gots'ta also be willin' t'steal de service havin' gots de product
-free. What it is, Mama! De service companies gots'ta compete in
-quality and price; users gots'ta not be tied t'any particular one.
-What it is, Mama! Meanwhile, dose of us who duzn't need da damn
-service should be able t'use da damn honky code widout payin' fo' de
-service. What it is, Mama!
-
- "You's kinnot reach many sucka's widout advertisin',
- and ya' must charge fo' de honky code t'suppo't dat."
- "It's no use advertisin' some honky code sucka's kin git free. What
- it is, Mama!"
-
-Dere are various fo'ms uh free o' real cheap publicity dat kin be used
-to info'm numbers uh clunker users about sump'n likes GNU. But it may
-be true dat one kin reach mo'e microclunker users wid advertisin'. If
-dis is really so, some business which advertises de service uh copyin'
-and mailin' GNU fo' some fee ought t'be successful enough t'pay fo'
-its advertisin' and mo'e. What it is, Mama! Dis way, only de users
-who benefit fum de advertisin' pay fo' it.
-
-On de oda' hand, if many sucka's git GNU fum deir homeys, and such
-companies duzn't succeed, dis gots'ta show dat advertisin' wuz not
-really necessary t'spread GNU. Why be it dat free market advocates
-duzn't wants' to let da damn free market decide dis?
-
- "My company needs some proprietary opuh'tin' system
- t'get some competitive edge. What it is, Mama!"
-
-GNU gots'ta remove opuh'tin' system software fum de realm uh
-competishun. You's gots'ta not be able t'get an edge in dis area, but
-neida' gots'ta yo' competito's be able t'get an edge ova' ya'. You's
-and dey gots'ta compete in oda' areas, while benefittin' mutually in
-dis one. What it is, Mama! If yo' business is sellin' an opuh'tin'
-system, ya' gots'ta not likes GNU, but dat's tough on ya'. If yo'
-business be sump'n else, GNU kin save ya' fum bein' pushed into de
-'espensive business uh sellin' opuh'tin' systems.
-
-I would likes t'see GNU development suppo'ted by gifts fum many
-manufacturers and users, reducin' de cost t'each.
-
- "Don't honky codemers deserve some reward fo' deir creativity?"
-
-If anydin' deserves some reward, it be social contribushun.
-Creativity kin be some social contribushun, but only in so's far as
-society be free t'use de results. If honky codemers deserve t'be
-rewarded fo' creatin' innovative honky codes, by de same token dey
-deserve t'be punished if dey restrict de use uh dese honky codes.
-
- "Shouldn't some honky codema' be able t'ax' fo' some reward fo' his
- creativity?"
-
-Dere be nodin' wrong wid wants'in' pay fo' wo'k, o' seekin' t'maximize
-one's income, as long as one duz not use means dat are destructive.
-What it is, Mama! But de means customary in de field uh software
-today are based on destrucshun.
-
-Extractin' bre'd fum users uh a honky code by restrictin' deir use uh
-it is destructive cuz' de restricshuns reduce da damn amount and da
-damn ways dat de honky code kin be used. Dis reduces de amount uh
-weald dat humanity derives fum de honky code. When dere be a
-deliberate choice t'restrict, de harmful consequences are deliberate
-destrucshun.
-
-De reason some baaaad citizen duz not use such destructive means
-t'become wealdia' is dat, if everyone dun did so, we would all become
-poo'a' from de mutual destructiveness. Dis be Kantian edics; o', de
-Golden Rule. What it is, Mama! Since ah' do not likes de
-consequences dat result if everyone ho'ds info'mashun, ah' am required
-t'consida' it wrong fo' one t'do so. Specifically, de desire t'be
-rewarded fo' one's creativity duz not justify deprivin' de wo'ld in
-general uh all o' part uh dat creativity. Slap mah fro!
-
- "Won't honky codemers starve?"
-
-I could answa' dat nobody be fo'ced t'be some honky codemer. Ah be
-baaad... Most uh us kinnot manage t'get any bre'd fo' standin' on de
-street and makin' faces. But we aint, as some result, condemned
-t'spend our lives standin' on de street makin' faces, and starvin'.
-We do sump'n else. What it is, Mama!
-
-But dat be de wrong answa' a'cuz it accepts de quesshuner's implicit
-assumpshun: dat widout ownership uh software, honky codemers kinnot
-possibly be paid some cent. Supposedly it be all o' nodin'.
-
-De real reason honky codemers gots'ta not starve be dat it gots'ta
-still be possible fo' dem t'get paid fo' honky codemin'; plum not paid
-as much as now.
-
-Restrictin' copyin' be not da damn only basis fo' business in
-software. What it is, Mama! It is de most common basis cuz' it
-brin's in de most bre'd. If it wuz prohibited, o' rejected by de
-customer, software business would move to oda' bases uh o'ganizashun
-which are now used less often. 'S coo', bro. Dere are always
-numerous ways t'o'ganize any kind'a business.
-
-Probably honky codemin' gots'ta not be as lucrative on de new basis as
-it is now. But dat be not an argument against da damn change. What
-it is, Mama! It be not considered an injustice dat sales clerks make
-da damn salaries dat dey now do. If honky codemers made da damn same,
-dat would not be an injustice eider. Ah be baaad... (In practice dey
-would still make considerably mo'e dan dat.)
-
- "Don't sucka's gots' some right t'control how deir creativity be used?"
-
-"Control ova' de use uh one's ideas" really constitutes control ova'
-oder sucka's's lives; and it be usually used t'make deir lives mo'e
-difficult.
-
-People who gots' studied da damn issue uh intellectual propuh'ty
-rights carefully (such as lawyers) say dat dere be no intrinsic right
-t'intellectual propuh'ty. Slap mah fro! De kinds uh supposed
-intellectual propuh'ty rights dat de guv'ment recognizes wuz created
-by specific acts uh legislashun fo' specific purposes.
-
-Fo' 'esample, de patent system wuz established t'encourage invento's
-to disclose da damn details uh deir invenshuns. Its purpose wuz
-t'help society rada' dan t'help invento's. At da damn time, de life
-span uh 17 years fo' a patent wuz sho't compared wid de rate uh
-advance uh de state uh de art. Since patents are an issue only among
-manufacturers, fo' whom de cost and effo't uh a license agreement are
-little-ass compared wid settin' down producshun, de patents often do
-not do much harm. 'S coo', bro. Dey do not obstruct most individuals
-who use patented products.
-
-De idea uh copyright dun did not 'esist in ancient times, when audo's
-frequently copied oda' audo's at lengd in wo'ks uh non-ficshun. Dis
-practice wuz useful, and be de only way many audo's' wo'ks gots'
-survived even in part. De copyright system wuz created 'espressly fo'
-de purpose of encouragin' audo'ship. In de domain fo' which it wuz
-invented--scribblin's, which could be copied economically only on some
-printin' press--it dun did little harm, and dun did not obstruct most
-uh de individuals who eyeball de scribblin's.
-
-All intellectual propuh'ty rights are plum licenses granted by society
-a'cuz it wuz dought, rightly o' wrongly, dat society as some whole
-would benefit by grantin' dem. 'S coo', bro. But in any particular
-situashun, we gots'ta ax': are we really betta' off grantin' such
-license? What kind'a act are we licensin' some sucka' t'do?
-
-De case uh honky codes today be very different fum dat uh scribblin's
-some hundred years ago. De fact dat da damn easiest way t'copy some
-honky code be from one neighbo' t'anoder, de fact dat some honky code
-gots'ta bod source code and object code which are distinct, and da
-damn fact dat some honky code be used rader dan eyeball and enjoyed,
-combine t'create some situashun in which some sucka' who enfo'ces some
-copyright be harmin' society as some whole bod materially and
-spiritually; in which some sucka' should not do so's regardless uh
-wheda' de law enables him to.
-
- "Competishun makes wahtahmelluns git done better. Ah be baaad..."
-
-De paradigm uh competishun be a race, dig dis: by rewardin' de winner,
-we encourage everyone t'run faster. Ah be baaad... When capitalism
-really wo'ks dis way, it duz some baaaad job; but its defenders are
-wrong in assumin' it always wo'ks dis way. Slap mah fro! If de
-runners fo'get why de reward be offered and become intent on winnin',
-no matta' how, dey may find oda' strategies--such as, attackin' oda'
-runners. If de runners git into some fist fight, dey will all finish
-late. What it is, Mama!
-
-Proprietary and secret software be de mo'al equivalent uh runners in a
-fist fight. Sad t'say, de only referee we've gots duz not seem to
-object t'fights; he plum regulates dem ("Fo' every ten yards ya' run,
-ya' are allowed one kick."). He really ought t'boogie dem down, and
-penalize runners fo' even tryin' t'fight.
-
- "Won't everyone stop honky codemin' widout some monetary incentive?"
-
-Actually, many sucka's gots'ta honky code wid absolutely no monetary
-incentive. What it is, Mama! Programmin' gots'ta an irresistible
-fascinashun fo' some sucka's, usually de sucka's who are best at it.
-Dere be no sho'tage uh professional beatians who keep at it even dough
-dey gots' no hope uh makin' some livin' dat way. Slap mah fro!
-
-But really dis quesshun, dough commonly ax'ed, be not appropriate t'de
-situashun. Pay fo' honky codemers gots'ta not disappear, only become
-less. So de right quesshun is, gots'ta anyone honky code wid some
-reduced monetary incentive? My 'espuh'ience shows dat dey will.
-
-Fo' mo'e dan ten years, many uh de wo'ld's best honky codemers wo'ked
-at de Artificial Intelligence Lab fo' far less bre'd dan dey could
-gots' had anywhere else. What it is, Mama! Dey gots many kinds uh
-non-monetary rewards, dig dis: fame and appreciashun, fo' 'esample.
-What it is, Mama! And creativity be also fun, some reward in itself.
-
-Den most uh dem left when offered some chance t'do de same interestin'
-wo'k fo' some lot uh bre'd.
-
-What da damn facts show be dat sucka's gots'ta honky code fo' reasons
-oda' dan riches; but if given some chance t'make some lot uh bre'd as
-sheeit, dey will come t''spect and demand it. Low-payin'
-o'ganizashuns do poo'ly in competishun wid high-payin' ones, but dey
-do not gots'ta do bad-assly if de high-payin' ones are banned.
-
- "We need da damn honky codemers despuh'tely. Slap mah fro! If dey
- demand dat we stop helpin' our neighbo's, we gots'ta obey. Slap mah
- fro!"
-
-Youse neva' so despuh'te dat ya' gots'ta obey dis radical demand.
-Remember, dig dis: millions fo' defense, but not some cent fo'
-tribute. Right On!
-
- "Programmers need t'make some livin' somehow."
-
-In de sho't run, dis be true. What it is, Mama! However, dere are
-plenty uh ways dat honky codemers could make some livin' widout
-sellin' de right t'use some honky code. Dis way be customary now cuz'
-it brin's honky codemers and businessmen de most bre'd, not cuz' it be
-de only way t'make some livin'. It be easy to find oda' ways if ya'
-wanna find dem. 'S coo', bro. Here are some numba' of 'esamples.
-
-A manufactura' introducin' some new clunker gots'ta pay fo' de po'tin'
-of opuh'tin' systems onto de new hardware. What it is, Mama!
-
-De sale uh teachin', hand-holdin' and maintenance services could also
-employ honky codemers.
-
-People wid new ideas could distribute honky codes as freeware, ax'in'
-fo' donashuns fum satisfied users, o' sellin' hand-holdin' services.
-ah' gots' met sucka's who are already wo'kin' dis way successfully.
-Slap mah fro!
-
-Users wid related needs kin fo'm users' grodowns, and pay dues. A
-grodown would contract wid honky codemin' companies t'scribble honky
-codes dat de grodown's members would likes t'use. What it is, Mama!
-
-All so'ts uh development kin be funded wid some Software Tax, dig dis:
-
- S'pose everyone who steals some clunker gots'ta t'pay x puh'cent of
- de price as some software tax. De guv'ment gives dis to an agency
- likes de NSF t'spend on software development.
-
- But if de clunker steala' makes some donashun t'software development
- himself, he kin snatch some credit against da damn tax. He kin donate
- to de project uh his own choosin'--often, chosen cuz' he hopes to use
- da damn results when it be done. What it is, Mama! He kin snatch
- some credit fo' any amount uh donashun down t'de total tax he had
- t'pay. Slap mah fro!
-
- De total tax rate could be decided by some vote uh de payers of de
- tax, weighted acco'din' t'de amount dey gots'ta be taxed on. 'S coo',
- bro.
-
- De consequences, dig dis:
- * de clunker-usin' community suppo'ts software development.
- * dis community decides whut level uh suppo't be needed.
- * users who care which projects deir share be spent on
- kin choose dis fo' demselves.
-
-In de long run, makin' honky codes free be a step toward da damn
-post-scarcity wo'ld, where nobody gots'ta t'wo'k real hard plum to
-make some livin'. People gots'ta be free t'devote demselves
-t'activities dat are fun, such as honky codemin', afta' spendin' de
-necessary ten hours some week on required tax's such as legislashun,
-family counselin', robot repair and asteroid prospectin'. Dere
-gots'ta be no need t'be able to make some livin' fum honky codemin'.
-
-We gots' already greatly reduced da damn amount uh wo'k dat da damn
-whole society must do fo' its actual productivity, but only some
-little uh dis has translated itself into leisho' nuff fo' wo'kers cuz'
-much nonproductive activity be required t'accompany productive
-activity. Slap mah fro! De main causes uh dis are bureaucracy and
-isometric struggles against competishun. Free software gots'ta
-greatly reduce dese drains in de area uh software producshun. We must
-do dis, in o'da' fo' technical gains in productivity t'translate into
-less wo'k fo' us.
-
-Copyright (C) 1985 Richard M. Stallman
-
- Permission be granted t'anyone t'make o' distribute verbatim copies
- uh dis document as received, in any medium, provided dat de
- copyright notice and puh'mission notice are preserved,
- and dat da damn distributo' grants de recipient puh'mission
- fo' furda' redistribushun as puh'mitted by daintice. What it is, Mama!
-
- Modified versions may not be made. What it is, Mama!
-</pre></blockquote>
-
-<p>This joke is also available in <a href="/fun/jokes/gnu.jive">plain
-text</a>.</p>
-
-<p><a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a> in the GNU Humor
-Collection.</p>
-
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4>
-<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the
-FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email archives</a> of the GNU
-Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-
-<div id="footer">
-<p>
-Please send FSF & GNU inquiries to
-<a href="mailto:address@hidden";><address@hidden></a>. There are
-also <a href="/contact/">other ways to contact</a> the FSF.
-<br />
-Please send broken links and other corrections or suggestions to
-<a href="mailto:address@hidden";><address@hidden></a>.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Please see the
-<a href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting
-translations of this article.
-</p>
-
-<!--#include virtual="/server/bottom-notes.html" -->
-
-<p>Updated:
-<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2013/02/28 17:09:07 $
-<!-- timestamp end -->
-</p>
-</div>
-
-</div>
-</body>
-</html>
Index: gnu.jive.txt
===================================================================
RCS file: gnu.jive.txt
diff -N gnu.jive.txt
--- gnu.jive.txt 23 Dec 2011 05:23:59 -0000 1.1
+++ /dev/null 1 Jan 1970 00:00:00 -0000
@@ -1,558 +0,0 @@
-BABYL OPTIONS:
-Version: 5
-Labels:
-Note: This is the header of an rmail file.
-Note: If you are seeing it in rmail,
-Note: it means the file has no messages in it.
-
-1,,
-Return-Path: <address@hidden>
-Received: from EDDIE.MIT.EDU by life.ai.mit.edu (4.1/AI-4.10) id AA23886; Tue,
17 Jul 90 23:05:10 EDT
-Received: by EDDIE.MIT.EDU (5.61/25-eef)
- id AA10043; Tue, 17 Jul 90 22:04:08 EST
-Date: Tue, 17 Jul 90 22:04:08 EST
-From: Robert E. Seastrom <address@hidden>
-Message-Id: <address@hidden>
-To: address@hidden
-Subject: thought you might find this amusing...
-
-*** EOOH ***
-Return-Path: <address@hidden>
-Date: Tue, 17 Jul 90 22:04:08 EST
-From: Robert E. Seastrom <address@hidden>
-To: address@hidden
-Subject: thought you might find this amusing...
-
-
-No, no one's circulating this - I ran the plain GNU Manifesto through
-a lex script called "jive".
-
-"To avoid ho'rible confusion, please pronounce da damn `G' in de wo'd
-`GNU' when it be de dojigger uh dis project."
-
- ---Rob
-
-
- De GNU Manifesto
-
-Copyright (C) 1985 Richard M. Stallman
- (Copyin' puh'mission notice at da damn end.)
-
-What's GNU? Gnu's Not Unix. Right On!
-
-GNU, which stands fo' Gnu's Not Unix, be de dojigger fo' de complete
-Unix-compatible software system which ah' am writin' so's dat ah' can
-give it away free t'everyone who kin use it. Several oda' volunteers
-are helpin' me. What it is, Mama! Contribushuns uh time, bre'd,
-honky codes and equipment are greatly needed.
-
-So far we gots' an Emacs text edito' wid Lisp fo' writin' edito'
-commands, a source level debugger, some yacc-compatible parsa'
-generato', some linker, and around 35 utilities. A shell (command
-interpreter) be nearly completed. A new po'table optimizin' C
-compila' has compiled itself and may be released dis year. Ah be
-baaad... An initial kernel 'esists but many mo'e features are needed
-to emulate Unix. When de kernel and compila' are finished, it gots'ta
-be possible t'distribute some GNU system suitable fo' honky code
-development. We gots'ta use @TeX{} as our text fo'matter, but an
-nroff be bein' wo'ked on. 'S coo', bro. We gots'ta use da damn free,
-po'table X window system as sheeit. Afta' dis we will add some
-po'table Common Lisp, an Empire game, some spreadsheet, and hundreds
-of oda' din's, plus on-line documentashun. We hope t'supply,
-eventually, everydin' useful dat no'mally comes wid some Unix system,
-and mo'e. What it is, Mama!
-
-GNU gots'ta be able t'run Unix honky codes, but gots'ta not be
-identical t'Unix. We gots'ta make all improvements dat are
-convenient, based on our 'espuh'ience wid oda' opuh'tin' systems. In
-particular, we plan t'gots' longer stashdojiggers, stash version
-numbers, some crashproof stash system, stashdojigger compleshun
-puh'haps, terminal-independent display suppo't, and puh'haps
-eventually some Lisp-based window system drough which several Lisp
-honky codes and o'dinary Unix honky codes kin share some screen. 'S
-coo', bro. Bod C and Lisp gots'ta be available as system honky
-codemin' languages. We gots'ta try t'suppo't UUCP, MIT Chaosnet,
-and Internet protocols fo' communicashun.
-
-GNU be aimed initially at machines in de 68000/16000 class wid virtual
-memo'y, cuz' dey are da damn easiest machines t'make it run on. 'S
-coo', bro. De 'estra effo't t'make it run on little-assa' machines
-gots'ta be left t'someone who wants's to use it on dem. 'S coo', bro.
-
-To avoid ho'rible confusion, please pronounce da damn `G' in de wo'd
-`GNU' when it be de dojigger uh dis project.
-
-
-Who Am I?
-
-I's gots'ta be Richard Stallman, invento' uh de o'iginal much-imitated
-EMACS edito', fo'merly at da damn Artificial Intelligence Lab at MIT.
-ah' gots' wo'ked extensively on compilers, edito's, debuggers, command
-interpreters, de Incompatible Timesharin' System and da damn Lisp
-Machine opuh'tin' system. 'S coo', bro. I pioneered terminal-
-independent display suppo't in ITS. Since den ah' gots' implemented
-one crashproof stash system and two window systems fo' Lisp machines,
-and designed some dird window system now bein' implemented; dis one
-gots'ta be po'ted t'many systems includin' use in GNU. ['Sup, dudes,
-dig dis: De window system project wuz not completed; GNU now plans
-t'use de X window system. 'S coo', bro.]
-
-
-Why ah' Must Write GNU
-
-I consida' dat da damn golden rule requires dat if ah' likes some
-honky code ah' must share it wid oda' sucka's who likes it. Software
-sellers wanna divide de users and conqua' dem, makin' each usa' agree
-not t'share wid oders. ah' refuse t'boogie solidarity wid oda' users
-in dis way. Slap mah fro! I cannot in baaaad conscience sign some
-nondisclosho' nuff agreement o' some software license agreement. Fo'
-years ah' wo'ked widin de Artificial Intelligence Lab t'resist such
-tendencies and oda' inhospitalities, but eventually dey had gone too
-far, dig dis: ah' could not remain in an institushun where such din's
-are done fo' me against mah' will.
-
-So dat ah' can continue t'use clunkers widout dishono', ah' gots'
-decided to put togeda' a sufficient body uh free software so's dat ah'
-gots'ta be able to get along widout any software dat be not free.
-What it is, Mama! ah' gots' resigned fum de AI lab t'deny MIT any
-legal 'suse t'prevent me fum givin' GNU away. Slap mah fro!
-
-
-Why GNU Will Be Compatible wid Unix
-
-Unix be not mah' ideal system, but it be not too bad-ass. De
-essential features of Unix seem t'be baaaad ones, and ah' dink ah' can
-fill in whut Unix lacks widout spoilin' dem. 'S coo', bro. And some
-system compatible wid Unix would be convenient fo' many oda' sucka's
-t'adopt.
-
-
-How GNU Will Be Available
-
-GNU be not in de public domain. 'S coo', bro. Everyone gots'ta be
-puh'mitted t'modify and redistribute GNU, but no distributo' gots'ta
-be allowed t'restrict its furda' redistribushun. Dat be to say,
-proprietary modificashuns gots'ta not be allowed. ah' wanna make sho'
-nuff dat all versions uh GNU remain free. What it is, Mama!
-
-
-Why Many Oda' Programmers Want t'Help
-
-I gots' found many oda' honky codemers who are 'sited about GNU and
-wanna help.
-
-Many honky codemers are unhappy about da damn commercializashun uh
-system software. What it is, Mama! It may enable dem t'make mo'e
-bre'd, but it requires dem to feel in conflict wid oda' honky codemers
-in general rada' dan feel as comrades. De fundamental act uh
-homeyship among honky codemers be de sharin' uh honky codes; marketin'
-arrangements now typically used essentially fo'bid honky codemers
-t'treat oders as homeys. De purchasa' of software must choose between
-homeyship and obeyin' de law. Naturally, many decide dat homeyship be
-mo'e impo'tant. But dose who recon' in law often do not feel at ease
-wid eida' choice. What it is, Mama! Dey become cynical and dink dat
-honky codemin' be plum a way uh makin' bre'd.
-
-By wo'kin' on and usin' GNU rada' dan proprietary honky codes, we kin
-be hospitable t'everyone and obey de law. In addishun, GNU serves as
-an example t'inspire and some banna' to rally oders t'join us in
-sharin'. Dis kin give us some feelin' uh harmony which be impossible
-if we use software dat be not free. What it is, Mama! Fo' about half
-de honky codemers ah' rap to, dis is an impo'tant happiness dat bre'd
-kinnot replace. What it is, Mama!
-
-
-How You's Can Contribute
-
-I's gots'ta be ax'in' clunker manufacturers fo' donashuns uh machines
-and bre'd. I'm ax'in' individuals fo' donashuns uh honky codes and
-wo'k.
-
-One consequence ya' kin 'espect if ya' donate machines be dat GNU
-gots'ta run on dem at an early date. What it is, Mama! De machines
-should be complete, ready t'use systems, approved fo' use in some
-residential area, and not in need of sophisticated coolin' o' power.
-Ah be baaad...
-
-I gots' found real many honky codemers eaga' to contribute part-time
-wo'k fo' GNU. Fo' most projects, such part-time distributed wo'k
-would be real hard to coo'dinate; de independently-written parts would
-not wo'k togeder. Ah be baaad... But fo' de particular tax' uh
-replacin' Unix, dis problem be absent. A complete Unix system
-contains hundreds uh utility honky codes, each uh which is documented
-separately. Slap mah fro! Most interface specificashuns are fixed by
-Unix compatibility. Slap mah fro! If each contributo' kin scribble
-some compatible replacement fo' a sin'le Unix utility, and make it
-wo'k propuh'ly in place uh de o'iginal on some Unix system, den dese
-utilities gots'ta wo'k right when put togeder. Ah be baaad... Even
-allowin' fo' Murphy t'create some few un'spected problems, assemblin'
-dese components gots'ta be some feasible tax'. (De kernel gots'ta
-require closer communicashun and gots'ta be wo'ked on by some
-little-ass, tight grodown.)
-
-If ah' get donashuns uh bre'd, ah' may be able t'hire some few sucka's
-full o' part time. What it is, Mama! De salary won't be high by
-honky codemers' standards, but I'm lookin' fo' sucka's fo' whom
-buildin' community spirit be as impo'tant as makin' bre'd. ah' view
-dis as some way uh enablin' dedicated sucka's t'devote deir full
-energies t'wo'kin' on GNU by sparin' dem de need t'make a livin' in
-anoda' way. Slap mah fro!
-
-
-Why All Computa' Users Will Benefit
-
-Once GNU be written, everyone gots'ta be able t'obtain baaaad system
-software free, plum likes air. Ah be baaad...
-
-Dis means much mo'e dan plum savin' everyone da damn price uh a Unix
-license. What it is, Mama! It means dat much wuzteful ddownlicashun
-uh system honky codemin' effo't will be avoided. Dis effo't kin go
-instead into advancin' de state uh de art.
-
-Complete system sources gots'ta be available t'everyone. What it is,
-Mama! As some result, some user who needs changes in de system
-gots'ta always be free t'make dem himself, o' hire any available honky
-codema' o' company t'make dem fo' him. 'S coo', bro. Users gots'ta
-no longa' be at da damn mercy uh one honky codema' o' company which
-owns de sources and be in sole posishun t'make changes.
-
-Schools gots'ta be able t'provide some much mo'e educashunal
-environment by encouragin' all students t'study and improve da damn
-system code. What it is, Mama! Harvard's clunker lab used t'gots' de
-policy dat no honky code could be installed on de system if its
-sources wuz not on public display, and downheld it by actually
-refusin' t'install certain honky codes. ah' wuz real much inspired by
-dis.
-
-Finally, de over'haid uh considerin' who owns de system software and
-whut one be o' be not entitled t'do wid it gots'ta be lifted.
-
-Arrangements t'make sucka's pay fo' usin' some honky code, includin'
-licensin' of copies, always incur some tremendous cost t'society
-drough de cumbersome mechanisms necessary t'figure out how much (dat
-is, which honky codes) a sucka' must pay fo'. And only some honky
-pigs state kin fo'ce everyone t'obey dem. 'S coo', bro. Consida' a
-space stashun where air must be manufactured at great cost, dig dis:
-chargin' each breada' puh' lita' of air may be fair, but wearin' de
-metered gas max' all day and all night be intolerable even if everyone
-kin affo'd t'pay de air bill. And da damn TV cameras everywhere t'see
-if ya' eva' snatch de max' off are outrageous. It's betta' to
-suppo't da damn air plant wid some 'haid tax and chuck de max's.
-
-Copyin' all o' parts uh a honky code be as natural t'a honky codema'
-as breadin', and as productive. What it is, Mama! It ought t'be as
-free. What it is, Mama!
-
-
-Some Easily Rebutted Objecshuns t'GNU's Goals
-
- "Nobody gots'ta use it if it be free, cuz' dat means
- dey kin't rely on any suppo't."
- "You's gots'ta charge fo' de honky code
- t'pay fo' providin' de suppo't."
-
-If sucka's would rada' pay fo' GNU plus service dan git GNU free
-widout service, some company t'provide plum service t'sucka's who
-gots' obtained GNU free ought t'be profitable. What it is, Mama!
-
-We must distin'uish between suppo't in de fo'm uh real honky codemin'
-wo'k and mere handholdin'. De fo'ma' is sump'n one kinnot rely on fum
-a software vendo'. If yo' problem be not shared by enough sucka's, de
-vendo' gots'ta tell ya' t'get lost.
-
-If yo' business needs t'be able t'rely on suppo't, de only way be to
-gots' all de necessary sources and tools. Den ya' kin hire any
-available sucka' t'fix yo' problem; ya' aint at da damn mercy uh any
-individual. Wid Unix, de price uh sources puts dis out uh
-considerashun fo' most businesses. Wid GNU dis gots'ta be easy. Slap
-mah fro! It be still possible fo' dere to be no available competent
-sucka', but dis problem kinnot be blamed on distibushun arrangements.
-GNU duz not eliminate all de wo'ld's problems, only some uh dem. 'S
-coo', bro.
-
-Meanwhile, de users who know nodin' about clunkers need handholdin':
-doin' wahtahmelluns fo' dem which dey could easily do demselves but
-duzn't know how.
-
-Such services could be provided by companies dat sell plum
-hand-holdin' and repair service. What it is, Mama! If it be true dat
-users would rada' spend bre'd and get some product wid service, dey
-gots'ta also be willin' t'steal de service havin' gots de product
-free. What it is, Mama! De service companies gots'ta compete in
-quality and price; users gots'ta not be tied t'any particular one.
-What it is, Mama! Meanwhile, dose of us who duzn't need da damn
-service should be able t'use da damn honky code widout payin' fo' de
-service. What it is, Mama!
-
- "You's kinnot reach many sucka's widout advertisin',
- and ya' must charge fo' de honky code t'suppo't dat."
- "It's no use advertisin' some honky code sucka's kin git free. What
- it is, Mama!"
-
-Dere are various fo'ms uh free o' real cheap publicity dat kin be used
-to info'm numbers uh clunker users about sump'n likes GNU. But it may
-be true dat one kin reach mo'e microclunker users wid advertisin'. If
-dis is really so, some business which advertises de service uh copyin'
-and mailin' GNU fo' some fee ought t'be successful enough t'pay fo'
-its advertisin' and mo'e. What it is, Mama! Dis way, only de users
-who benefit fum de advertisin' pay fo' it.
-
-On de oda' hand, if many sucka's git GNU fum deir homeys, and such
-companies duzn't succeed, dis gots'ta show dat advertisin' wuz not
-really necessary t'spread GNU. Why be it dat free market advocates
-duzn't wants' to let da damn free market decide dis?
-
- "My company needs some proprietary opuh'tin' system
- t'get some competitive edge. What it is, Mama!"
-
-GNU gots'ta remove opuh'tin' system software fum de realm uh
-competishun. You's gots'ta not be able t'get an edge in dis area, but
-neida' gots'ta yo' competito's be able t'get an edge ova' ya'. You's
-and dey gots'ta compete in oda' areas, while benefittin' mutually in
-dis one. What it is, Mama! If yo' business is sellin' an opuh'tin'
-system, ya' gots'ta not likes GNU, but dat's tough on ya'. If yo'
-business be sump'n else, GNU kin save ya' fum bein' pushed into de
-'espensive business uh sellin' opuh'tin' systems.
-
-I would likes t'see GNU development suppo'ted by gifts fum many
-manufacturers and users, reducin' de cost t'each.
-
- "Don't honky codemers deserve some reward fo' deir creativity?"
-
-If anydin' deserves some reward, it be social contribushun.
-Creativity kin be some social contribushun, but only in so's far as
-society be free t'use de results. If honky codemers deserve t'be
-rewarded fo' creatin' innovative honky codes, by de same token dey
-deserve t'be punished if dey restrict de use uh dese honky codes.
-
- "Shouldn't some honky codema' be able t'ax' fo' some reward fo' his
- creativity?"
-
-Dere be nodin' wrong wid wants'in' pay fo' wo'k, o' seekin' t'maximize
-one's income, as long as one duz not use means dat are destructive.
-What it is, Mama! But de means customary in de field uh software
-today are based on destrucshun.
-
-Extractin' bre'd fum users uh a honky code by restrictin' deir use uh
-it is destructive cuz' de restricshuns reduce da damn amount and da
-damn ways dat de honky code kin be used. Dis reduces de amount uh
-weald dat humanity derives fum de honky code. When dere be a
-deliberate choice t'restrict, de harmful consequences are deliberate
-destrucshun.
-
-De reason some baaaad citizen duz not use such destructive means
-t'become wealdia' is dat, if everyone dun did so, we would all become
-poo'a' from de mutual destructiveness. Dis be Kantian edics; o', de
-Golden Rule. What it is, Mama! Since ah' do not likes de
-consequences dat result if everyone ho'ds info'mashun, ah' am required
-t'consida' it wrong fo' one t'do so. Specifically, de desire t'be
-rewarded fo' one's creativity duz not justify deprivin' de wo'ld in
-general uh all o' part uh dat creativity. Slap mah fro!
-
- "Won't honky codemers starve?"
-
-I could answa' dat nobody be fo'ced t'be some honky codemer. Ah be
-baaad... Most uh us kinnot manage t'get any bre'd fo' standin' on de
-street and makin' faces. But we aint, as some result, condemned
-t'spend our lives standin' on de street makin' faces, and starvin'.
-We do sump'n else. What it is, Mama!
-
-But dat be de wrong answa' a'cuz it accepts de quesshuner's implicit
-assumpshun: dat widout ownership uh software, honky codemers kinnot
-possibly be paid some cent. Supposedly it be all o' nodin'.
-
-De real reason honky codemers gots'ta not starve be dat it gots'ta
-still be possible fo' dem t'get paid fo' honky codemin'; plum not paid
-as much as now.
-
-Restrictin' copyin' be not da damn only basis fo' business in
-software. What it is, Mama! It is de most common basis cuz' it
-brin's in de most bre'd. If it wuz prohibited, o' rejected by de
-customer, software business would move to oda' bases uh o'ganizashun
-which are now used less often. 'S coo', bro. Dere are always
-numerous ways t'o'ganize any kind'a business.
-
-Probably honky codemin' gots'ta not be as lucrative on de new basis as
-it is now. But dat be not an argument against da damn change. What
-it is, Mama! It be not considered an injustice dat sales clerks make
-da damn salaries dat dey now do. If honky codemers made da damn same,
-dat would not be an injustice eider. Ah be baaad... (In practice dey
-would still make considerably mo'e dan dat.)
-
- "Don't sucka's gots' some right t'control how deir creativity be used?"
-
-"Control ova' de use uh one's ideas" really constitutes control ova'
-oder sucka's's lives; and it be usually used t'make deir lives mo'e
-difficult.
-
-People who gots' studied da damn issue uh intellectual propuh'ty
-rights carefully (such as lawyers) say dat dere be no intrinsic right
-t'intellectual propuh'ty. Slap mah fro! De kinds uh supposed
-intellectual propuh'ty rights dat de guv'ment recognizes wuz created
-by specific acts uh legislashun fo' specific purposes.
-
-Fo' 'esample, de patent system wuz established t'encourage invento's
-to disclose da damn details uh deir invenshuns. Its purpose wuz
-t'help society rada' dan t'help invento's. At da damn time, de life
-span uh 17 years fo' a patent wuz sho't compared wid de rate uh
-advance uh de state uh de art. Since patents are an issue only among
-manufacturers, fo' whom de cost and effo't uh a license agreement are
-little-ass compared wid settin' down producshun, de patents often do
-not do much harm. 'S coo', bro. Dey do not obstruct most individuals
-who use patented products.
-
-De idea uh copyright dun did not 'esist in ancient times, when audo's
-frequently copied oda' audo's at lengd in wo'ks uh non-ficshun. Dis
-practice wuz useful, and be de only way many audo's' wo'ks gots'
-survived even in part. De copyright system wuz created 'espressly fo'
-de purpose of encouragin' audo'ship. In de domain fo' which it wuz
-invented--scribblin's, which could be copied economically only on some
-printin' press--it dun did little harm, and dun did not obstruct most
-uh de individuals who eyeball de scribblin's.
-
-All intellectual propuh'ty rights are plum licenses granted by society
-a'cuz it wuz dought, rightly o' wrongly, dat society as some whole
-would benefit by grantin' dem. 'S coo', bro. But in any particular
-situashun, we gots'ta ax': are we really betta' off grantin' such
-license? What kind'a act are we licensin' some sucka' t'do?
-
-De case uh honky codes today be very different fum dat uh scribblin's
-some hundred years ago. De fact dat da damn easiest way t'copy some
-honky code be from one neighbo' t'anoder, de fact dat some honky code
-gots'ta bod source code and object code which are distinct, and da
-damn fact dat some honky code be used rader dan eyeball and enjoyed,
-combine t'create some situashun in which some sucka' who enfo'ces some
-copyright be harmin' society as some whole bod materially and
-spiritually; in which some sucka' should not do so's regardless uh
-wheda' de law enables him to.
-
- "Competishun makes wahtahmelluns git done better. Ah be baaad..."
-
-De paradigm uh competishun be a race, dig dis: by rewardin' de winner,
-we encourage everyone t'run faster. Ah be baaad... When capitalism
-really wo'ks dis way, it duz some baaaad job; but its defenders are
-wrong in assumin' it always wo'ks dis way. Slap mah fro! If de
-runners fo'get why de reward be offered and become intent on winnin',
-no matta' how, dey may find oda' strategies--such as, attackin' oda'
-runners. If de runners git into some fist fight, dey will all finish
-late. What it is, Mama!
-
-Proprietary and secret software be de mo'al equivalent uh runners in a
-fist fight. Sad t'say, de only referee we've gots duz not seem to
-object t'fights; he plum regulates dem ("Fo' every ten yards ya' run,
-ya' are allowed one kick."). He really ought t'boogie dem down, and
-penalize runners fo' even tryin' t'fight.
-
- "Won't everyone stop honky codemin' widout some monetary incentive?"
-
-Actually, many sucka's gots'ta honky code wid absolutely no monetary
-incentive. What it is, Mama! Programmin' gots'ta an irresistible
-fascinashun fo' some sucka's, usually de sucka's who are best at it.
-Dere be no sho'tage uh professional beatians who keep at it even dough
-dey gots' no hope uh makin' some livin' dat way. Slap mah fro!
-
-But really dis quesshun, dough commonly ax'ed, be not appropriate t'de
-situashun. Pay fo' honky codemers gots'ta not disappear, only become
-less. So de right quesshun is, gots'ta anyone honky code wid some
-reduced monetary incentive? My 'espuh'ience shows dat dey will.
-
-Fo' mo'e dan ten years, many uh de wo'ld's best honky codemers wo'ked
-at de Artificial Intelligence Lab fo' far less bre'd dan dey could
-gots' had anywhere else. What it is, Mama! Dey gots many kinds uh
-non-monetary rewards, dig dis: fame and appreciashun, fo' 'esample.
-What it is, Mama! And creativity be also fun, some reward in itself.
-
-Den most uh dem left when offered some chance t'do de same interestin'
-wo'k fo' some lot uh bre'd.
-
-What da damn facts show be dat sucka's gots'ta honky code fo' reasons
-oda' dan riches; but if given some chance t'make some lot uh bre'd as
-sheeit, dey will come t''spect and demand it. Low-payin'
-o'ganizashuns do poo'ly in competishun wid high-payin' ones, but dey
-do not gots'ta do bad-assly if de high-payin' ones are banned.
-
- "We need da damn honky codemers despuh'tely. Slap mah fro! If dey
- demand dat we stop helpin' our neighbo's, we gots'ta obey. Slap mah
- fro!"
-
-Youse neva' so despuh'te dat ya' gots'ta obey dis radical demand.
-Remember, dig dis: millions fo' defense, but not some cent fo'
-tribute. Right On!
-
- "Programmers need t'make some livin' somehow."
-
-In de sho't run, dis be true. What it is, Mama! However, dere are
-plenty uh ways dat honky codemers could make some livin' widout
-sellin' de right t'use some honky code. Dis way be customary now cuz'
-it brin's honky codemers and businessmen de most bre'd, not cuz' it be
-de only way t'make some livin'. It be easy to find oda' ways if ya'
-wanna find dem. 'S coo', bro. Here are some numba' of 'esamples.
-
-A manufactura' introducin' some new clunker gots'ta pay fo' de po'tin'
-of opuh'tin' systems onto de new hardware. What it is, Mama!
-
-De sale uh teachin', hand-holdin' and maintenance services could also
-employ honky codemers.
-
-People wid new ideas could distribute honky codes as freeware, ax'in'
-fo' donashuns fum satisfied users, o' sellin' hand-holdin' services.
-ah' gots' met sucka's who are already wo'kin' dis way successfully.
-Slap mah fro!
-
-Users wid related needs kin fo'm users' grodowns, and pay dues. A
-grodown would contract wid honky codemin' companies t'scribble honky
-codes dat de grodown's members would likes t'use. What it is, Mama!
-
-All so'ts uh development kin be funded wid some Software Tax, dig dis:
-
- S'pose everyone who steals some clunker gots'ta t'pay x puh'cent of
- de price as some software tax. De guv'ment gives dis to an agency
- likes de NSF t'spend on software development.
-
- But if de clunker steala' makes some donashun t'software development
- himself, he kin snatch some credit against da damn tax. He kin donate
- to de project uh his own choosin'--often, chosen cuz' he hopes to use
- da damn results when it be done. What it is, Mama! He kin snatch
- some credit fo' any amount uh donashun down t'de total tax he had
- t'pay. Slap mah fro!
-
- De total tax rate could be decided by some vote uh de payers of de
- tax, weighted acco'din' t'de amount dey gots'ta be taxed on. 'S coo',
- bro.
-
- De consequences, dig dis:
- * de clunker-usin' community suppo'ts software development.
- * dis community decides whut level uh suppo't be needed.
- * users who care which projects deir share be spent on
- kin choose dis fo' demselves.
-
-In de long run, makin' honky codes free be a step toward da damn
-post-scarcity wo'ld, where nobody gots'ta t'wo'k real hard plum to
-make some livin'. People gots'ta be free t'devote demselves
-t'activities dat are fun, such as honky codemin', afta' spendin' de
-necessary ten hours some week on required tax's such as legislashun,
-family counselin', robot repair and asteroid prospectin'. Dere
-gots'ta be no need t'be able to make some livin' fum honky codemin'.
-
-We gots' already greatly reduced da damn amount uh wo'k dat da damn
-whole society must do fo' its actual productivity, but only some
-little uh dis has translated itself into leisho' nuff fo' wo'kers cuz'
-much nonproductive activity be required t'accompany productive
-activity. Slap mah fro! De main causes uh dis are bureaucracy and
-isometric struggles against competishun. Free software gots'ta
-greatly reduce dese drains in de area uh software producshun. We must
-do dis, in o'da' fo' technical gains in productivity t'translate into
-less wo'k fo' us.
-
-Copyright (C) 1985 Richard M. Stallman
-
- Permission be granted t'anyone t'make o' distribute verbatim copies
- uh dis document as received, in any medium, provided dat de
- copyright notice and puh'mission notice are preserved,
- and dat da damn distributo' grants de recipient puh'mission
- fo' furda' redistribushun as puh'mitted by daintice. What it is, Mama!
-
- Modified versions may not be made. What it is, Mama!
-
-
-
\ No newline at end of file
| [Prev in Thread] |
Current Thread |
[Next in Thread] |
- www/fun/jokes gnu.jive.html gnu.jive.txt,
John Sullivan <=