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www/fun jokes/anagrams.html jokes/bug.war.html ...
|
From: |
Therese Godefroy |
|
Subject: |
www/fun jokes/anagrams.html jokes/bug.war.html ... |
|
Date: |
Thu, 15 Jul 2021 11:38:15 -0400 (EDT) |
CVSROOT: /webcvs/www
Module name: www
Changes by: Therese Godefroy <th_g> 21/07/15 11:38:15
Modified files:
fun/jokes : anagrams.html bug.war.html courtroom.quips.html
echo-msg.html ed-msg.html freesoftware.html
fsf-in-german.html gnuemacs.acro.exp.html
gospel.html grammar-in-the-bar.html
hello_world_patent.html know.your.sysadmin.html
look-and-feel.html luser-vs-rms.html
microsoft-church.html musical-pickup.html
paging.game.html panama.html
phone.features.html physics.html
power.users.html purchase.agreement.html
quotations.html rectium.html
santa_comes_to_town.html science.facts.html
smileys.html spilling-checker.html
typoglycemia.html unix-hoax.html
users-lightbulb.html wolf-logo.html
fun/spam : sheep.html warpgenerator.html
Log message:
Add breadcrumb and available info (remove disclaimer if author
is known); update to boilerplate 1.96; reformat/restyle as needed.
CVSWeb URLs:
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/anagrams.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.21&r2=1.22
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/bug.war.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.18&r2=1.19
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/courtroom.quips.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.20&r2=1.21
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/echo-msg.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.12&r2=1.13
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/ed-msg.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.7&r2=1.8
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/freesoftware.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.17&r2=1.18
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/fsf-in-german.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.15&r2=1.16
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/gnuemacs.acro.exp.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.13&r2=1.14
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/gospel.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.15&r2=1.16
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/grammar-in-the-bar.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.1&r2=1.2
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/hello_world_patent.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.11&r2=1.12
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/know.your.sysadmin.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.21&r2=1.22
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/look-and-feel.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.11&r2=1.12
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/luser-vs-rms.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.11&r2=1.12
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/microsoft-church.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.13&r2=1.14
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/musical-pickup.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.10&r2=1.11
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/paging.game.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.17&r2=1.18
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/panama.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.11&r2=1.12
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/phone.features.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.12&r2=1.13
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/physics.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.11&r2=1.12
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/power.users.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.11&r2=1.12
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/purchase.agreement.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.22&r2=1.23
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/quotations.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.17&r2=1.18
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/rectium.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.11&r2=1.12
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/santa_comes_to_town.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.12&r2=1.13
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/science.facts.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.11&r2=1.12
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/smileys.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.12&r2=1.13
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/spilling-checker.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.11&r2=1.12
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/typoglycemia.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.6&r2=1.7
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/unix-hoax.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.12&r2=1.13
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/users-lightbulb.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.10&r2=1.11
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/wolf-logo.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.11&r2=1.12
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/spam/sheep.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.12&r2=1.13
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/spam/warpgenerator.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.10&r2=1.11
Patches:
Index: jokes/anagrams.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/anagrams.html,v
retrieving revision 1.21
retrieving revision 1.22
diff -u -b -r1.21 -r1.22
--- jokes/anagrams.html 17 Dec 2020 09:12:55 -0000 1.21
+++ jokes/anagrams.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.22
@@ -1,123 +1,180 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.78 -->
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>Anagrams
- GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
+<style type="text/css" media="print,screen"><!--
+dl.anagrams {
+ width: 28em; max-width: 100%;
+ padding-left: 1em; margin: 2em auto;
+ }
+dl.anagrams dt {
+ font-weight: normal; font-style: italic;
+ text-align: right; margin: 0;
+}
+dl.anagrams dd { margin: 0 0 1em 1em; }
+dl.anagrams dt, dl.anagrams dd {
+ display: inline-block;
+ width: 13em; max-width: 94%;
+}
+div.anagram { margin-bottom: 2em; }
+.anagram .emph-box { background: white; margin-top: 0; }
+h2 + p { text-align: justify; }
+@media (max-width:30em) {
+ dl.anagrams { width: max-content; padding: 0; }
+ dl.anagrams dt, dl.anagrams dd { display: block; width: auto; }
+ dl.anagrams dt { text-align: left; }
+ h2 + p { text-align: initial; }
+}
+--></style>
<!--#include virtual="/fun/jokes/po/anagrams.translist" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-<h2>Anagrams</h2>
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a
href="/fun/humor.html#Dictionary">Dictionary & word play</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
+<h2 class="c">Anagrams</h2>
-<blockquote><p>An Anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made
+<p>
+An Anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made
by transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase.
The following are exceptionally clever. Someone out there either has
way too much time to waste or is deadly at Scrabble.</p>
+</div>
-<table>
-<tr><td style="padding: 1em;">Dormitory</td>
-<td style="padding: 1em;">Dirty Room</td></tr>
+<dl class="anagrams">
+<dt>Dormitory:</dt>
+<dd class="col-left">Dirty Room</dd>
-<tr><td style="padding: 1em;">Evangelist</td>
-<td style="padding: 1em;">Evil's Agent</td></tr>
+<dt>Evangelist:</dt>
+<dd class="col-left">Evil's Agent</dd>
-<tr><td style="padding: 1em;">Desperation</td>
-<td style="padding: 1em;">A Rope Ends It</td></tr>
+<dt>Desperation:</dt>
+<dd class="col-left">A Rope Ends It</dd>
-<tr><td style="padding: 1em;">The Morse Code</td>
-<td style="padding: 1em;">Here Come Dots</td></tr>
+<dt>The Morse Code:</dt>
+<dd class="col-left">Here Come Dots</dd>
-<tr><td style="padding: 1em;">Slot Machines</td>
-<td style="padding: 1em;">Cash Lost in 'em</td></tr>
+<dt>Slot Machines:</dt>
+<dd class="col-left">Cash Lost in 'em</dd>
-<tr><td style="padding: 1em;">Animosity</td>
-<td style="padding: 1em;">Is No Amity</td></tr>
+<dt>Animosity:</dt>
+<dd class="col-left">Is No Amity</dd>
-<tr><td style="padding: 1em;">Mother-in-law</td>
-<td style="padding: 1em;">Woman Hitler :)</td></tr>
+<dt>Mother-in-law:</dt>
+<dd class="col-left">Woman Hitler :)</dd>
-<tr><td style="padding: 1em;">Snooze Alarms</td>
-<td style="padding: 1em;">Alas! No More Z's</td></tr>
+<dt>Snooze Alarms:</dt>
+<dd class="col-left">Alas! No More Z's</dd>
-<tr><td style="padding: 1em;">Alec Guinness</td>
-<td style="padding: 1em;">Genuine Class</td></tr>
+<dt>Alec Guinness:</dt>
+<dd class="col-left">Genuine Class</dd>
-<tr><td style="padding: 1em;">Semolina</td>
-<td style="padding: 1em;">Is No Meal</td></tr>
+<dt>Semolina:</dt>
+<dd>Is No Meal</dd>
-<tr><td style="padding: 1em;">The Public Art Galleries</td>
-<td style="padding: 1em;">Large Picture Halls, I Bet</td></tr>
+<dt>The Public Art Galleries:</dt>
+<dd>Large Picture Halls, I Bet</dd>
-<tr><td style="padding: 1em;">A Decimal Point</td>
-<td style="padding: 1em;">I'm a Dot in Place</td></tr>
+<dt>A Decimal Point:</dt>
+<dd>I'm a Dot in Place</dd>
-<tr><td style="padding: 1em;">The Earthquakes</td>
-<td style="padding: 1em;">That Queer Shake</td></tr>
+<dt>The Earthquakes:</dt>
+<dd>That Queer Shake</dd>
-<tr><td style="padding: 1em;">Eleven plus two</td>
-<td style="padding: 1em;">Twelve plus one</td></tr>
+<dt>Eleven plus two:</dt>
+<dd>Twelve plus one</dd>
-<tr><td style="padding: 1em;">Contradiction</td>
-<td style="padding: 1em;">Accord not in it</td></tr>
+<dt>Contradiction:</dt>
+<dd>Accord not in it</dd>
-<tr><td style="padding: 1em;">Astronomer</td>
-<td style="padding: 1em;">Moon Starer</td></tr>
+<dt>Astronomer:</dt>
+<dd>Moon Starer</dd>
-<tr><td style="padding: 1em;">Princess Diana</td>
-<td style="padding: 1em;">End is a car spin</td></tr>
+<dt>Princess Diana:</dt>
+<dd>End is a car spin</dd>
-<tr><td style="padding: 1em;">Year Two Thousand</td>
-<td style="padding: 1em;">A year to shut down</td></tr>
-</table>
+<dt>Year Two Thousand:</dt>
+<dd>A year to shut down</dd>
+</dl>
-<p></p>
-<p>This one's truly amazing:</p>
+<div class="reduced-width">
+<div class="anagram">
+<p class="c">This one's truly amazing:</p>
-<p><q>To be or not to be: that is the question, whether its nobler in
-the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous
-fortune.</q></p>
+<div class="emph-box">
+<blockquote>
+<p><i>To be or not to be, that is the question:
+whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
+the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune…</i></p>
+</blockquote>
<p>And the Anagram:</p>
-<p><q>In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent
-hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns
-rotten.</q></p>
+<blockquote>
+<p>In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies,
+our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts
+about how life turns rotten.</p>
+</blockquote>
+</div>
+</div>
-<p>And for the grand finale:</p>
+<div class="anagram">
+<p class="c">And for the grand finale:</p>
-<p><q>That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for
-mankind.</q><br />--Neil Armstrong</p>
+<div class="emph-box">
+<blockquote>
+<p><i>That's one small step for a man,
+one giant leap for mankind. --Neil Armstrong</i></p>
+</blockquote>
<p>The Anagram:</p>
-<p><q>A thin man ran; makes a large stride, left planet, pins flag
-on moon! On to Mars!</q></p>
-
-<p>Nope, one more!</p>
-
-<p>The following phrase is a perfect anagram to start the impeachment
-trial:</p>
+<blockquote>
+<p>A thin man ran; makes a large stride,
+left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!</p>
+</blockquote>
+</div>
+</div>
-<p><q>PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA</q></p>
+<div class="anagram">
+<p class="c">Nope, one more!<br />
+The following phrase is a perfect anagram to start
+the impeachment trial:</p>
+
+<div class="emph-box">
+<blockquote>
+<p><i>PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA</i></p>
+</blockquote>
<p>The Anagram:</p>
-<p><q>TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS</q>
-</p></blockquote>
-
-<p>This joke is also available in <a href="/fun/jokes/anagrams">plain
-text</a>.</p>
+<blockquote>
+<p>TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS</p>
+</blockquote>
+</div>
+</div>
-<p><a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a> in the GNU Humor
-Collection.</p>
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/anagrams.txt">Plain
+text version</a></p>
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
-<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the
-FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email archives</a> of the GNU
-Project.</p>
-
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the FSF's email archives of the
+GNU Project. The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on it.</p>
+</div>
+</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -135,41 +192,24 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
-<!-- Regarding copyright, in general, standalone pages (as opposed to
- files generated as part of manuals) on the GNU web server should
- be under CC BY-ND 4.0. Please do NOT change or remove this
- without talking with the webmasters or licensing team first.
- Please make sure the copyright date is consistent with the
- document. For web pages, it is ok to list just the latest year the
- document was modified, or published.
-
- If you wish to list earlier years, that is ok too.
- Either "2001, 2002, 2003" or "2001-2003" are ok for specifying
- years, as long as each year in the range is in fact a copyrightable
- year, i.e., a year in which the document was published (including
- being publicly visible on the web or in a revision control system).
-
- There is more detail about copyright years in the GNU Maintainers
- Information document, www.gnu.org/prep/maintain. -->
-
<!--#include virtual="/server/bottom-notes.html" -->
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2020/12/17 09:12:55 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/bug.war.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/bug.war.html,v
retrieving revision 1.18
retrieving revision 1.19
diff -u -b -r1.18 -r1.19
--- jokes/bug.war.html 3 Aug 2019 14:52:39 -0000 1.18
+++ jokes/bug.war.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.19
@@ -1,15 +1,26 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.78 -->
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>War against bugs!
- GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
<!--#include virtual="/fun/jokes/po/bug.war.translist" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#Unclassified">Unclassified</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>War against bugs!</h2>
-<p>From <cite>Doctor Dobb's Journal</cite>, 2/90, p. 158, “The
-War on Bugs” (humor):</p>
+<address class="byline">by Michael Swaine<br />
+<small>editor-at-large, Doctor Dobb's Journal</small></address>
-<blockquote><p>I wish I could tell you that we're going to be able to
+<p>I wish I could tell you that we're going to be able to
eliminate all bug use in America, but that would be insincere. We
will spare no expense to wipe out computer viruses, which are
responsible for fully one-hundredth of one percent of lost
@@ -23,25 +34,20 @@
occasional system crash is not really a bug. We will, however,
continue to restrict use of their products on commercial air
flights.</p>
-<p> --Michael Swaine, editor-at-large</p></blockquote>
-
-<p>This joke is also available in <a href="/fun/jokes/bug.war">plain
-text</a>.</p>
-
-<p><a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a> in the GNU Humor
-Collection.</p>
-<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/bug.war.txt">Original
+email</a></p>
-<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the
-FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email archives</a> of the GNU
-Project.</p>
-
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<p>Source: <cite>Doctor Dobb's Journal</cite>, 2/90, p. 158,
+“The War on Bugs” (humor)</p>
+</div>
+</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -59,41 +65,24 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
-<!-- Regarding copyright, in general, standalone pages (as opposed to
- files generated as part of manuals) on the GNU web server should
- be under CC BY-ND 4.0. Please do NOT change or remove this
- without talking with the webmasters or licensing team first.
- Please make sure the copyright date is consistent with the
- document. For web pages, it is ok to list just the latest year the
- document was modified, or published.
-
- If you wish to list earlier years, that is ok too.
- Either "2001, 2002, 2003" or "2001-2003" are ok for specifying
- years, as long as each year in the range is in fact a copyrightable
- year, i.e., a year in which the document was published (including
- being publicly visible on the web or in a revision control system).
-
- There is more detail about copyright years in the GNU Maintainers
- Information document, www.gnu.org/prep/maintain. -->
-
<!--#include virtual="/server/bottom-notes.html" -->
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2019/08/03 14:52:39 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/courtroom.quips.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/courtroom.quips.html,v
retrieving revision 1.20
retrieving revision 1.21
diff -u -b -r1.20 -r1.21
--- jokes/courtroom.quips.html 17 Aug 2019 07:34:38 -0000 1.20
+++ jokes/courtroom.quips.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.21
@@ -1,183 +1,193 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.78 -->
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>Great Court Quotes
- GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
+<style type="text/css" media="print,screen"><!--
+#content table { width: 100%; margin: 2em 0; }
+#content th { width: 2em; }
+--></style>
<!--#include virtual="/fun/jokes/po/courtroom.quips.translist" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#Unclassified">Unclassified</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>Great Court Quotes</h2>
-<p>The following article is taken from the <cite>New Hampshire
-Business Review</cite> under the category of lawyers. This was one of
-Richard Lederer's columns on <cite>Looking at Language</cite>.
-Original date unknown.</p>
+<address class="byline">by Richard Lederer<br />
+<small>New Hampshire Business Review</small></address>
<p>From Mary Louise Gilman's two volumes, here are some great court
quotes, all from official transcripts, all recorded by America's
keepers of the word:</p>
<table>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>What is your brother-in-law's name?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>Borofkin.</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>What's his first name?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>I can't remember.</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>What is your brother-in-law's name?</td></tr>
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>Borofkin.</td></tr>
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>What's his first name?</td></tr>
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>I can't remember.</td></tr>
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you
can't remember his first name?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>No. I tell you I'm too excited. <i>(Rising from
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>No. I tell you I'm too excited. <i>(Rising from
the witness chair and pointing to Mr. Borofkin.)</i> Nathan, for
God's sake, tell them your first name!</td></tr>
</table>
-<p></p>
+
<table>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>Did you ever stay all night with this man in New
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>Did you ever stay all night with this man in New
York?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>I refuse to answer that question.</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>Did you ever stay all night with this man in
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>I refuse to answer that question.</td></tr>
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>Did you ever stay all night with this man in
Chicago?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>I refuse to answer that question.</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>Did you ever stay all night with this man in
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>I refuse to answer that question.</td></tr>
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>Did you ever stay all night with this man in
Miami?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>No.</td></tr>
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>No.</td></tr>
</table>
-<p></p>
+
<table>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage
terminated?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>By death.</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>And by whose death was it terminated?</td></tr>
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>By death.</td></tr>
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>And by whose death was it terminated?</td></tr>
</table>
-<p></p>
+
<table>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>Doctor, did you say he was shot in the
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>Doctor, did you say he was shot in the
woods?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>No, I said he was shot in the lumbar
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>No, I said he was shot in the lumbar
region.</td></tr>
</table>
-<p></p>
+
+<table>
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>What is your name?</td></tr>
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>Ernestine McDowell.</td></tr>
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>And what is your marital status?</td></tr>
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>Fair.</td></tr>
+</table>
+
<table>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>What is your name?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>Ernestine McDowell.</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>And what is your marital status?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>Fair.</td></tr>
-</table>
-<p></p>
-<table>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>Are you married?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>No, I'm divorced.</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>And what did your husband do before you divorced
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>Are you married?</td></tr>
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>No, I'm divorced.</td></tr>
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>And what did your husband do before you divorced
him?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>A lot of things I didn't know about.</td></tr>
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>A lot of things I didn't know about.</td></tr>
</table>
-<p></p>
+
<table>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>And who is this person you are speaking of?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>My ex-widow said it.</td></tr>
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>And who is this person you are speaking of?</td></tr>
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>My ex-widow said it.</td></tr>
</table>
-<p></p>
+
<table>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>How did you happen to go to Dr. Cherney?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>Well, a gal down the road had had several of her
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>How did you happen to go to Dr. Cherney?</td></tr>
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>Well, a gal down the road had had several of her
children by Dr. Cherney, and said he was really good.</td></tr>
</table>
-<p></p>
+
<table>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>I will be three months November 8th.</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>Apparently then, the date of conception was August
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?</td></tr>
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>I will be three months November 8th.</td></tr>
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>Apparently then, the date of conception was August
8th?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>Yes.</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>What were you and your husband doing at that
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>Yes.</td></tr>
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>What were you and your husband doing at that
time?</td></tr>
</table>
-<p></p>
+
<table>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>Mrs. Smith, do you believe that you are
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>Mrs. Smith, do you believe that you are
emotionally unstable?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>I should be.</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>How many times have you committed suicide?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>Four times.</td></tr>
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>I should be.</td></tr>
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>How many times have you committed suicide?</td></tr>
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>Four times.</td></tr>
</table>
-<p></p>
+
<table>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on
dead people?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>All my autopsies have been performed on dead
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>All my autopsies have been performed on dead
people.</td></tr>
</table>
-<p></p>
+
<table>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>Were you aquainted with the decedent?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>Yes, sir.</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>Before or after he died?</td></tr>
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>Were you aquainted with the decedent?</td></tr>
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>Yes, sir.</td></tr>
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>Before or after he died?</td></tr>
</table>
-<p></p>
+
<table>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was
under the influence?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>Because he was argumentary and he couldn't
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>Because he was argumentary and he couldn't
pronunciate his words.</td></tr>
</table>
-<p></p>
+
<table>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>What happened then?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>He told me, he says, “I have to kill you
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>What happened then?</td></tr>
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>He told me, he says, “I have to kill you
because you can identify me.”</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>Did he kill you?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>No.</td></tr>
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>Did he kill you?</td></tr>
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>No.</td></tr>
</table>
-<p></p>
+
<table>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning
pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>No. This is how I dress when I go to work.</td></tr>
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>No. This is how I dress when I go to work.</td></tr>
</table>
-<p></p>
+
<table>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>Did he pick the dog up by the ears?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>No.</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>What was he doing with the dog's ears?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>Picking them up in the air.</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>Where was the dog at this time?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>Attached to the ears.</td></tr>
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>Did he pick the dog up by the ears?</td></tr>
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>No.</td></tr>
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>What was he doing with the dog's ears?</td></tr>
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>Picking them up in the air.</td></tr>
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>Where was the dog at this time?</td></tr>
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>Attached to the ears.</td></tr>
</table>
-<p></p>
+
<table>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>When he went, had you gone and had she, if she
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>When he went, had you gone and had she, if she
wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the
restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you,
meaning you and she, with him to the station?</td></tr>
<tr><td>MR. BROOKS:</td> <td>Objection. That question should be taken
out and shot.</td></tr>
</table>
-<p></p>
+
<p>[Before we recess, let's listen to one last exchange involving a
child:]</p>
<table>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral.
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral.
O.K.? What school do you go to?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>Oral.</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Q.</td> <td>How old are you?</td></tr>
-<tr><td>A.</td> <td>Oral.</td></tr>
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>Oral.</td></tr>
+<tr><th>Q.</th> <td>How old are you?</td></tr>
+<tr><th>A.</th> <td>Oral.</td></tr>
</table>
-<p></p>
-
-<p>This joke is also available
-in <a href="/fun/jokes/courtroom.quips.txt">plain text</a>.</p>
-<p><a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a> in the GNU Humor
-Collection.</p>
-<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/courtroom.quips.txt">
+Original email</a></p>
-<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the
-FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email archives</a> of the GNU
-Project.</p>
-
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<p>Source: <cite>New Hampshire Business Review</cite> (date unknown)
under
+the category of lawyers. This was one of Richard Lederer's columns on
+“Looking at Language.”</p>
+</div>
+</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -195,41 +205,24 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
-<!-- Regarding copyright, in general, standalone pages (as opposed to
- files generated as part of manuals) on the GNU web server should
- be under CC BY-ND 4.0. Please do NOT change or remove this
- without talking with the webmasters or licensing team first.
- Please make sure the copyright date is consistent with the
- document. For web pages, it is ok to list just the latest year the
- document was modified, or published.
-
- If you wish to list earlier years, that is ok too.
- Either "2001, 2002, 2003" or "2001-2003" are ok for specifying
- years, as long as each year in the range is in fact a copyrightable
- year, i.e., a year in which the document was published (including
- being publicly visible on the web or in a revision control system).
-
- There is more detail about copyright years in the GNU Maintainers
- Information document, www.gnu.org/prep/maintain. -->
-
<!--#include virtual="/server/bottom-notes.html" -->
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2019/08/17 07:34:38 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/echo-msg.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/echo-msg.html,v
retrieving revision 1.12
retrieving revision 1.13
diff -u -b -r1.12 -r1.13
--- jokes/echo-msg.html 17 Dec 2020 09:12:55 -0000 1.12
+++ jokes/echo-msg.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.13
@@ -1,37 +1,59 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: Revision: 1.94 -->
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>GNU Echo - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
<style type="text/css" media="screen, print">
+p.infobox { margin-bottom: 2em; }
table { width: 100%; }
-th { text-align: left; vertical-align: top; }
td, th { padding: 1em; }
+th { text-align: left; vertical-align: top; }
+.col1 { border-right: 0; }
+.col2 { text-align: center; border-left: 0; border-right: 0; }
+.col3 { text-align: right; border-left: 0; }
+.col1, .col3 { width: 20%; }
td p { margin-bottom: 0; }
td p:first-child { margin-top: 0; }
</style>
<!--#include virtual="/fun/jokes/po/echo-msg.translist" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#Documentation">Documentation</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>GNU Echo?</h2>
-<pre>
+<address class="byline">by Robert Herndon</address>
+
+<p class="infobox">
+From: herndon@umn-cs.UUCP<br />
+Subject: GNU Echo, Release 1<br />
+Date: 28 Oct 85 18:23:00 GMT<br />
+Date-Received: 10 Nov 85 05:29:10 GMT <em>[sic]</em></p>
+
+<pre class="c">
/* Written 12:22 pm Oct 28, 1985 by umn-cs!herndon in umn-cs:net.jokes */
/* ---------- "GNU Echo, Release 1" ---------- */
</pre>
-<table>
-<tr><td>GNUecho(1)</td> <td>Unix Programmer's
-Manual</td> <td>GNUecho(1)</td></tr>
-</table>
+<table class="echo">
+<tr><td class="col1">GNUecho(1)</td>
+ <td class="col2">Unix Programmer's Manual</td>
+ <td class="col3">GNUecho(1)</td></tr>
-<table>
<tr><th>NAME</th>
-<td>echo - echo arguments</td></tr>
+<td colspan="2">echo - echo arguments</td></tr>
<tr><th>SYNOPSIS</th>
-<td>echo [ options ] …</td></tr>
+<td colspan="2">echo [ options ] …</td></tr>
<tr><th>DESCRIPTION</th>
- <td><p>Echo writes its arguments separated by blanks and terminated
+ <td colspan="2"><p>Echo writes its arguments separated by blanks and
terminated
by a newline on the standard output. Options to filter and
redirect the output are as follows:</p>
@@ -67,7 +89,7 @@
<p><b>-g</b> generate pseudo-revolutionary marxist
catch-phrases</p>
- <p><b>-G</b> prepend GNU manifesto</p>
+ <p><b>-G</b> prepend GNU Manifesto</p>
<p><b>-h</b> halt system (reboot suppressed on Suns, Apollos, and
VAXen, not supported on NOS-2)</p>
@@ -120,9 +142,9 @@
<p><b>-T</b> emulate TCP/IP handler</p>
- <p><b>-t</b> issue troff output</p>
+ <p><b>-t</b> issue Troff output</p>
- <p><b>-u</b> issue unix philosophy essay</p>
+ <p><b>-u</b> issue Unix philosophy essay</p>
<p><b>-v</b> generate reverberating echo</p>
@@ -136,34 +158,24 @@
diagnostics to the standard error file, do ‘echo …
1>2’.</p></td></tr>
-<tr><th>AUTHOR</th>
-<td>Robert Herndon</td></tr>
+<tr id="Licensing"><th>AUTHOR</th>
+<td colspan="2">Robert Herndon</td></tr>
<tr><th>LICENSE</th>
-<td>GNU GPL, version 2 or later.</td></tr>
-</table>
+<td colspan="2">GNU GPL, version 2 or later.</td></tr>
-<table>
-<tr><td>Printed 10/28/85</td> <td>18 January 1983</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col1"><small>Printed 10/28/85</small></td>
+ <td class="col2"><small>18 January 1983</small></td>
+ <td class="col3"><small>3</small></td></tr>
</table>
-<p>This joke is also available in <a href="/fun/jokes/echo-msg.txt">
-plain text</a>.</p>
-
-<p style="margin-top: 2em">
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a> in the GNU Humor
-Collection.</p>
-
-<h3 id="Disclaimer" class="footnote">Disclaimer</h3>
-<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the
-FSF's <a href="https://lists.gnu.org/";>email archives</a> of the GNU
-Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
-
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/echo-msg.txt">Original
+email</a></p>
</div>
+</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -191,11 +203,13 @@
of this article.</p>
</div>
+<p><a href="#Licensing">Licensing information</a></p>
+
<!--#include virtual="/server/bottom-notes.html" -->
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2020/12/17 09:12:55 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
Index: jokes/ed-msg.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/ed-msg.html,v
retrieving revision 1.7
retrieving revision 1.8
diff -u -b -r1.7 -r1.8
--- jokes/ed-msg.html 6 Jul 2020 13:43:09 -0000 1.7
+++ jokes/ed-msg.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.8
@@ -1,17 +1,29 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>Ed, man! !man ed- GNU Project - Free Software Foundation (FSF)</title>
+<style type="text/css" media="screen, print">
+#ed-text p { display:inline-block; vertical-align: top; margin: 1em 1em 0; }
+@media (max-width: 40em) { #ed-text p { width: 11em; max-width:15em; }}
+</style>
<!--#include virtual="/fun/jokes/po/ed-msg.translist" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#Documentation">Documentation</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>Ed, man! !man ed</h2>
-<blockquote>
-<pre>
-From: patl@athena.mit.edu (Patrick J. LoPresti)
-Subject: The True Path (long)
-Date: 11 Jul 91 03:17:31 GMT
-Newsgroups: alt.religion.emacs,alt.slack
-</pre>
+<p class="infobox">
+From: Patrick J. LoPresti<br />
+Subject: The True Path (long)<br />
+Date: 11 Jul 91 03:17:31 GMT</p>
<p>When I log into my Xenix system with my 110 baud teletype, both vi
<b>and</b> Emacs are just too damn slow. They print useless messages
@@ -21,7 +33,7 @@
<p>Ed, man! !man ed</p>
-<pre>
+<pre class="emph-box">
ED(1) Unix Programmer's Manual ED(1)
NAME
@@ -32,7 +44,7 @@
DESCRIPTION
Ed is the standard text editor.
</pre>
-<p>---</p>
+<p style="visibility: hidden">---</p>
<p>Computer Scientists love ed, not just because it comes first
alphabetically, but because it's the standard. Everyone else loves ed
@@ -42,7 +54,7 @@
<p>And ed doesn't waste space on my Timex Sinclair. Just look:</p>
-<pre>
+<pre class="emph-box">
-rwxr-xr-x 1 root 24 Oct 29 1929 /bin/ed
-rwxr-xr-t 4 root 1310720 Jan 1 1970 /usr/ucb/vi
-rwxr-xr-x 1 root 5.89824e37 Oct 22 1990 /usr/bin/emacs
@@ -56,7 +68,7 @@
<p>“Ed is the standard text editor.”</p>
<p>Let's look at a typical novice's session with the mighty ed:</p>
-<pre>
+<pre class="emph-box">
golem$ ed
?
@@ -81,7 +93,7 @@
^D
?
</pre>
-<p>---</p>
+<p style="visibility: hidden">---</p>
<p>Note the consistent user interface and error reportage. Ed is
generous enough to flag errors, yet prudent enough not to overwhelm
@@ -116,48 +128,62 @@
SPOKEN!!!</p>
<p>?</p>
-</blockquote>
-<p>This joke is also available in <a href="/fun/jokes/ed-msg.txt">plain
-text</a>, plus an <a href="/fun/jokes/ed.hup">Intel “press
-release”</a> edited with <code>ed</code>.</p>
-
-<p><a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a> in the GNU Humor
-Collection.</p>
-
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4>
-<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the
-FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email archives</a> of the GNU
-Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+<div id="ed-text" class="c">
+<p class="button"><a
+ href="/fun/jokes/ed-msg.txt">Plain text version</a></p>
+<p class="button"><a
+ href="/fun/jokes/ed.hup">Intel “press release”</a>
+edited with <code>ed</code></p>
+</div>
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
+<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the FSF's email archives of the
+GNU Project. The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on it.</p>
+</div>
</div>
+
+</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
+<div class="unprintable">
-<div id="footer">
-<p>Please send FSF & GNU inquiries to
+<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
<a href="mailto:gnu@gnu.org";><gnu@gnu.org></a>.
There are also <a href="/contact/">other ways to contact</a>
-the FSF.<br />
-Please send broken links and other corrections or suggestions to
-<a href="mailto:webmasters@gnu.org";><webmasters@gnu.org></a>.</p>
+the FSF. Broken links and other corrections or suggestions can be sent
+to <a href="mailto:webmasters@gnu.org";><webmasters@gnu.org></a>.</p>
+
+<p><!-- TRANSLATORS: Ignore the original text in this paragraph,
+ replace it with the translation of these two:
-<p>
+ We work hard and do our best to provide accurate, good quality
+ translations. However, we are not exempt from imperfection.
+ Please send your comments and general suggestions in this regard
+ to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
+ <web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
+
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
+ our web pages, see <a
+ href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
+ README</a>. -->
Please see the
<a href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing
translations of this article.
</p>
+</div>
<!--#include virtual="/server/bottom-notes.html" -->
-<p>Updated:
+<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2020/07/06 13:43:09 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/freesoftware.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/freesoftware.html,v
retrieving revision 1.17
retrieving revision 1.18
diff -u -b -r1.17 -r1.18
--- jokes/freesoftware.html 7 Jul 2015 05:53:16 -0000 1.17
+++ jokes/freesoftware.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.18
@@ -1,53 +1,65 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.78 -->
-<title>Free Software - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
+<title>Tribute to Free Software - GNU Project - Free Software
Foundation</title>
<!--#include virtual="/fun/jokes/po/freesoftware.translist" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-<h2>Free Software</h2>
-
-<blockquote><pre>
-Date: Sun, 31 Aug 2003 23:45:42 -0500
-From: "Harley D. Eades III"
-To: rms@gnu.org
-Subject: Tribute to freedom.
-</pre>
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#TheFourthEstate">The Fourth Estate</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
+<h2>Tribute to Free Software</h2>
+
+<p class="infobox">
+From: “Harley D. Eades III”<br />
+To: rms@gnu.org<br />
+Subject: Tribute to freedom.<br />
+Date: Sun, 31 Aug 2003 23:45:42 -0500</p>
<p>Hello,</p>
<p>One late rainy night I had an idea. There is a hill on IL route 29
-in Peoria IL, that people climb and write a small message across this
-hill for everyone to view from a far. What would be better than
-spreading my two most favorite words across this hill. So we set out
+in Peoria IL, that people climb and write a small message across
+for everyone to view from afar. What would be better than
+spreading my two most favorite words across this hill? So we set out
with a little over 200 garbage bags and nearly 400 nails. 12:30am and
rainy so you can figure that a hill of that size is going to be
-slippery (lol) nearly falling down hill with every step we start
-building each letter. At around 2:30am we have finished and now the
+slippery (lol). Nearly falling downhill with every step, we start
+building each letter. At around 2:30am we have finished, and now the
sun will rise over a hill which spreads the words Free Software to
-every person that passes by. This is by far a vary small non-complex
-hack but I beleve it is a hack in it self. This is a tribute to Free
+every person that passes by. This is by far a very small non-complex
+hack but I believe it is a hack in itself. This is a tribute to Free
Software [and the GNU Project].</p>
<p>Happy Hacking</p>
-<p>Harley D. Eades III<br />
+<address>—<br />
+Harley D. Eades III<br />
FSF Associate Member<br />
-Hacker</p></blockquote>
+Hacker</address>
+<div class="pict" style="width: 40em; height: auto; margin-top: 2em">
<img src="/fun/jokes/freesoftware.jpg"
- alt="Image of Free Software written in large white letters on a mountain
side" />
-
-<p><a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a> in the GNU Humor
-Collection.</p>
+ alt=" [Photo: 'Free Software', written in large white letters
+ on a mountain side] " />
+</div>
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
-<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the
-FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email archives</a> of the GNU
-Project.</p>
<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+</div>
+</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -65,13 +77,13 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
@@ -79,10 +91,10 @@
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2015/07/07 05:53:16 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/fsf-in-german.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/fsf-in-german.html,v
retrieving revision 1.15
retrieving revision 1.16
diff -u -b -r1.15 -r1.16
--- jokes/fsf-in-german.html 4 Jun 2019 06:36:45 -0000 1.15
+++ jokes/fsf-in-german.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.16
@@ -1,64 +1,81 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<title>FSF in German - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation (FSF)</title>
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
+<title>FSF in German - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
<!--#include virtual="/fun/jokes/po/fsf-in-german.translist" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a
href="/fun/humor.html#Dictionary">Dictionary & word play</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>FSF in German</h2>
-<blockquote><pre>
-Date: Fri, 7 May 93 21:30:47 PDT
-From: phr@america.telebit.com (Paul Rubin)
-To: rms@ai.mit.edu
-Subject: FSF
-</pre>
+<p class="infobox">
+From: Paul Rubin<br />
+To: rms@ai.mit.edu<br />
+Subject: FSF<br />
+Date: Fri, 7 May 93 21:30:47 PDT</p>
-<p>Did you know that FSF in Germany stands for “Fisch sucht
-Fahrrad”"? Translation: fish seeks bicycle. An FSF-party is a
+<p>Did you know that FSF in Germany stands for “<i>Fisch sucht
+Fahrrad</i>”? Translation: fish seeks bicycle. An FSF-party is a
singles gathering, I think.</p>
<p>I'm not sure whether the expression is widely used.</p>
-</blockquote>
-
-<p>This joke is also available in <a href="/fun/jokes/fsf-in-german.txt">
-plain text</a>.</p>
-<p><a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a> in the GNU Humor
-Collection.</p>
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/fsf-in-german.txt">Original
+email</a></p>
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4>
-<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the
-FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email archives</a> of the GNU
-Project.</p>
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
</div>
+</div>
+</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
+<div class="unprintable">
-<div id="footer">
-<p>
-Please send FSF & GNU inquiries to
-<a href="mailto:gnu@gnu.org";><gnu@gnu.org></a>. There are
-also <a href="/contact/">other ways to contact</a> the FSF.
-<br />
-Please send broken links and other corrections or suggestions to
-<a href="mailto:webmasters@gnu.org";><webmasters@gnu.org></a>.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Please see the
-<a href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting
-translations of this article.
-</p>
+<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
+<a href="mailto:gnu@gnu.org";><gnu@gnu.org></a>.
+There are also <a href="/contact/">other ways to contact</a>
+the FSF. Broken links and other corrections or suggestions can be sent
+to <a href="mailto:webmasters@gnu.org";><webmasters@gnu.org></a>.</p>
+
+<p><!-- TRANSLATORS: Ignore the original text in this paragraph,
+ replace it with the translation of these two:
+
+ We work hard and do our best to provide accurate, good quality
+ translations. However, we are not exempt from imperfection.
+ Please send your comments and general suggestions in this regard
+ to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
+ <web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
+
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
+ our web pages, see <a
+ href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
+ README</a>. -->
+Please see the <a
+href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
+of this article.</p>
+</div>
<!--#include virtual="/server/bottom-notes.html" -->
-<p>Updated:
+<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2019/06/04 06:36:45 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/gnuemacs.acro.exp.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/gnuemacs.acro.exp.html,v
retrieving revision 1.13
retrieving revision 1.14
diff -u -b -r1.13 -r1.14
--- jokes/gnuemacs.acro.exp.html 6 Jul 2020 13:43:09 -0000 1.13
+++ jokes/gnuemacs.acro.exp.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.14
@@ -1,29 +1,45 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<title>GNU Emacs acronym expansions</title>
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
+<title>GNU Emacs acronym expansions
+- GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
+<style type="text/css" media="print,screen"><!--
+#content .emph-box { width: max-content; background: white; margin-left: 6%; }
+blockquote.announcement, blockquote.important { border-width: .2em; }
+div.infobox.email { margin-top: 1.5em; }
+.infobox.email p { margin: 0 1em; }
+--></style>
<!--#include virtual="/fun/jokes/po/gnuemacs.acro.exp.translist" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#Documentation">Documentation</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>Some funny acronym expansions of Emacs</h2>
-<blockquote><pre>
-From: The Unknown User <anonymous@nowhere.uucp>
-Subject: EMACS -- What does it mean?
-To: mit-prep!info-gnu-emacs@TOPAZ.RUTGERS.EDU
-</pre>
+<p class="infobox">
+From: The Unknown User <anonymous@nowhere.uucp><br />
+Subject: EMACS -- What does it mean?<br />
+To: mit-prep!info-gnu-emacs@TOPAZ.RUTGERS.EDU</p>
<p>EMACS belongs in <code><sys/errno.h></code>: Editor too
big!</p>
<p>Escape-Meta-Alt-Control-Shift</p>
-</blockquote>
-<hr />
+<hr class="column-limit" />
-<blockquote><pre>
-From: harvard!topaz!BLUE!BRAIL@mit-eddie
-Date: 9 Sep 85 17:25:27 EDT
-Subject: EMACS -- What does it mean?
-To: mit-prep!info-gnu-emacs@TOPAZ.RUTGERS.EDU
-</pre>
+<p class="infobox">
+From: harvard!topaz!BLUE!BRAIL@mit-eddie<br />
+Date: 9 Sep 85 17:25:27 EDT<br />
+Subject: EMACS -- What does it mean?<br />
+To: mit-prep!info-gnu-emacs@TOPAZ.RUTGERS.EDU</p>
<p>EMACS may stand for “Editing MACroS,” but some friends
of mine suggested some more creative definitions. Here they
@@ -78,22 +94,21 @@
<li>Emetic Macros Assault Core and Segmentation</li>
<li>Epileptic MLisp Aggravates Compiler Seizures</li>
<li>Eleven thousand Monkeys Asynchronously Crank out these Slogans</li>
-</ul></blockquote>
+</ul>
-<hr />
+<hr class="column-limit" />
-<blockquote><pre>
-From: ihnss!warren@mit-eddie (Warren Montgomery)
-Newsgroups: net.emacs
-Subject: Re: EMACS -- What does it mean?
-Date: Tue, 10-Sep-85 09:14:24 EDT
-Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, IL
-Apparently-To: emacs-netnews-distribution@mit-prep
-</pre>
+<p class="infobox">
+From: ihnss!warren@mit-eddie (Warren Montgomery)<br />
+Newsgroups: net.emacs<br />
+Subject: Re: EMACS -- What does it mean?<br />
+Date: Tue, 10-Sep-85 09:14:24 EDT<br />
+Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, IL<br />
+Apparently-To: emacs-netnews-distribution@mit-prep</p>
<p>Someone at a luncheon suggested it meant:</p>
-<div class="lyrics">
+<div class="emph-box">
<p>Evenings,<br />
Mornings,<br />
And a<br />
@@ -102,26 +117,25 @@
</div>
<p>(In reference to the odd hours that went into the creation of my
-implementation).</p></blockquote>
+implementation).</p>
-<hr />
+<hr class="column-limit" />
-<blockquote><pre>
-Warren Montgomery
-ihnss!warren
-IH ((312)-979) x2494
-Date: Wed, 18 Sep 85 10:11:04 edt
-From: inmet!tower@inmet.inmet (Leonard H. Tower Jr.)
<inmet!tower@cca-unix>
-Subject: Re: EMACS -- What does it mean?
-To: tower@MIT-PREP.ARPA
-Received: by inmet.uucp (4.12/inmet) id AA02199; Wed, 18 Sep 85 09:10:17 edt
-Date: Wed, 18 Sep 85 09:10:17 edt
-Message-Id: <8509181310.AA02199@inmet.uucp>
-Uucp-Paths: {bellcore,ima,ihnp4}!inmet!tower
-Arpa-Path: ima!inmet!tower@CCA-Unix.ARPA
-Organization: Intermetrics, Inc., Cambridge, MA, USA
-Home: 36 Porter Street, Somerville, MA 02143, USA +1 (617) 623-7739
-</pre>
+<p class="infobox">
+Warren Montgomery<br />
+ihnss!warren<br />
+IH ((312)-979) x2494<br />
+Date: Wed, 18 Sep 85 10:11:04 edt<br />
+From: inmet!tower@inmet.inmet (Leonard H. Tower Jr.)
<inmet!tower@cca-unix><br />
+Subject: Re: EMACS -- What does it mean?<br />
+To: tower@MIT-PREP.ARPA<br />
+Received: by inmet.uucp (4.12/inmet) id AA02199; Wed, 18 Sep 85 09:10:17
edt<br />
+Date: Wed, 18 Sep 85 09:10:17 edt<br />
+Message-Id: <8509181310.AA02199@inmet.uucp><br />
+Uucp-Paths: {bellcore,ima,ihnp4}!inmet!tower<br />
+Arpa-Path: ima!inmet!tower@CCA-Unix.ARPA<br />
+Organization: Intermetrics, Inc., Cambridge, MA, USA<br />
+Home: 36 Porter Street, Somerville, MA 02143, USA +1 (617) 623-7739</p>
<pre>/* Written 6:48 pm Sep 14, 1985 by gml@ssc-vax in inmet:net.emacs
*/</pre>
<pre>/* ---------- "Re: EMACS -- What does it mean?" ---------- */</pre>
@@ -129,7 +143,7 @@
<p>Pleeeeeeeze!!! Nice try on the meaning of EMACS. I believe the
correct acronym is:</p>
-<div class="lyrics">
+<div class="emph-box">
<p>Emacs<br />
Makes<br />
All<br />
@@ -138,85 +152,85 @@
</div>
<p>Thank you, and Good Night</p>
-<pre>/* End of text from inmet:net.emacs */</pre></blockquote>
+<pre>/* End of text from inmet:net.emacs */</pre>
-<hr />
+<hr class="column-limit" />
-<blockquote><pre>
-From: ho95e!wcs@mit-eddie (Bill.Stewart.4K435.x0705)
-Newsgroups: net.emacs
-Subject: Re: EMACS -- What does it mean?
-Date: Thu, 26-Sep-85 21:43:54 EDT
-Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel NJ
-Apparently-To: emacs-netnews-distribution@mit-prep
-</pre>
-
-<pre>
-> > very interesting, but what does GNU stand for ?
-> GNU = Gnu's Not Unix. There is also MINCE, for Mince Is Not a Complete Emacs.
-> More recursive acronyms, anyone?
-</pre>
+<p class="infobox">
+From: ho95e!wcs@mit-eddie (Bill.Stewart.4K435.x0705)<br />
+Newsgroups: net.emacs<br />
+Subject: Re: EMACS -- What does it mean?<br />
+Date: Thu, 26-Sep-85 21:43:54 EDT<br />
+Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel NJ<br />
+Apparently-To: emacs-netnews-distribution@mit-prep</p>
+
+<blockquote class="announcement">
+<blockquote class="important"><p>
+very interesting, but what does GNU stand for ?
+</p></blockquote>
+<p>
+GNU = Gnu's Not Unix. There is also MINCE, for Mince Is Not a Complete Emacs.
+More recursive acronyms, anyone?
+</p></blockquote>
<p>Many people have also seen FINE Is Not Emacs, but the one that has
character is THief Isn't Even Fine.</p>
-<p>--</p>
-<p>## Bill Stewart, AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel NJ 1-201-949-0705
-ihnp4!ho95c!wcs</p></blockquote>
-
-<hr />
-
-<blockquote><pre>
-Path:
mit-eddie!think!harvard!bbnccv!bbncca!linus!decvax!mcnc!ncsu!uvacs!edison!ta2
-From: edison!ta2@mit-eddie (tom allebrandi)
-Newsgroups: net.emacs
-Subject: Re: Re: EMACS -- What does it mean?
-Date: Sun, 29-Sep-85 18:11:55 EDT
-Organization: General Electric's Mountain Resort
-Apparently-To: emacs-netnews-distribution@mit-prep
-</pre>
-
-<pre>> GNU = Gnu's Not Unix. There is also MINCE, for Mince Is Not a Complete
Emacs.
->
-> More recursive acronyms, anyone?
-</pre>
+<address class="infobox">—<br />
+## Bill Stewart, AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel NJ 1-201-949-0705
+ihnp4!ho95c!wcs</address>
+
+<hr class="column-limit" />
+
+<p class="infobox">
+Path:
mit-eddie!think!harvard!bbnccv!bbncca!linus!decvax!mcnc!ncsu!uvacs!edison!ta2<br
/>
+From: edison!ta2@mit-eddie (tom allebrandi)<br />
+Newsgroups: net.emacs<br />
+Subject: Re: Re: EMACS -- What does it mean?<br />
+Date: Sun, 29-Sep-85 18:11:55 EDT<br />
+Organization: General Electric's Mountain Resort<br />
+Apparently-To: emacs-netnews-distribution@mit-prep</p>
+
+<blockquote class="important"><p>
+GNU = Gnu's Not Unix. There is also MINCE, for Mince Is Not a Complete
Emacs.<br />
+ <br />
+More recursive acronyms, anyone?
+</p></blockquote>
<p>For the DEC-system-10/20: FINE - Fine Is Not Emacs…</p>
-<p>--</p>
-<p>tom allebrandi 2, general electric aco, charlottesville, va<br />
+<address class="infobox">—<br />
+tom allebrandi 2, general electric aco, charlottesville, va<br />
{decvax,duke}!mcnc!ncsu!uvacs!edison!ta2<br />
box 8106, charlottesville, va, 22906<br />
-(804) 978-5566</p></blockquote>
+(804) 978-5566</address>
-<hr />
+<hr class="column-limit" />
-<blockquote><pre>
-From: friedman@gnu.ai.mit.edu (Noah Friedman)
-Sender: friedman@gnu.ai.mit.edu
-To: jimb@gnu.ai.mit.edu, rms@gnu.ai.mit.edu
-Subject: etc/emacs.names
-Date: Fri, 9 Oct 92 00:54:57 edt
-</pre>
+<p class="infobox">
+From: friedman@gnu.ai.mit.edu (Noah Friedman)<br />
+Sender: friedman@gnu.ai.mit.edu<br />
+To: jimb@gnu.ai.mit.edu, rms@gnu.ai.mit.edu<br />
+Subject: etc/emacs.names<br />
+Date: Fri, 9 Oct 92 00:54:57 edt</p>
<p>The following should be added:</p>
-<div class="lyrics">
+<div class="emph-box">
<p>Emacs<br />
Makes<br />
A<br />
Computer<br />
Slow</p>
-</div></blockquote>
+</div>
-<hr />
+<hr class="column-limit" />
-<blockquote><pre>
-From: S_TITZ@iravcl.ira.uka.de (Olaf Titz)
-Newsgroups: alt.religion.emacs
-Subject: Re: what emacs stands for
-Date: 12 Oct 92 19:29:32 GMT
-</pre>
+<p class="infobox">
+From: S_TITZ@iravcl.ira.uka.de (Olaf Titz)<br />
+Newsgroups: alt.religion.emacs<br />
+Subject: Re: what emacs stands for<br />
+Date: 12 Oct 92 19:29:32 GMT</p>
<ul>
<li>Emacs Masquerades As Comfortable Shell</li>
@@ -233,18 +247,17 @@
<li>Everyday Material Almost Compiled Successfully</li>
</ul>
-<p>now enough bashing for today :-)</p></blockquote>
+<p>now enough bashing for today :-)</p>
-<hr />
+<hr class="column-limit" />
-<blockquote><pre>
-From: elvis@gnu.ai.mit.edu
-To: emacs-19-bugs@gnu.ai.mit.edu
-Subject: missing from etc/emacs.names
-Date: Thu, 20 May 93 02:21:27 edt
-</pre>
+<p class="infobox">
+From: elvis@gnu.ai.mit.edu<br />
+To: emacs-19-bugs@gnu.ai.mit.edu<br />
+Subject: missing from etc/emacs.names<br />
+Date: Thu, 20 May 93 02:21:27 edt</p>
-<div class="lyrics">
+<div class="emph-box">
<p>Elvis<br />
Masterminds<br />
All<br />
@@ -255,47 +268,54 @@
<p>Just so you boys know the score.</p>
<p>Thank you very Much,<br />
-The King</p></blockquote>
-
-<p><a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a> in the GNU Humor
-Collection.</p>
-
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4>
-<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the
-FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email archives</a> of the GNU
-Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+The King</p>
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
+<p>The jokes on this page were obtained from the FSF's email archives of the
+GNU Project. The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on them.</p>
+</div>
</div>
+</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
+<div class="unprintable">
-<div id="footer">
-<p>
-Please send FSF & GNU inquiries to
-<a href="mailto:gnu@gnu.org";><gnu@gnu.org></a>. There are
-also <a href="/contact/">other ways to contact</a> the FSF.
-<br />
-Please send broken links and other corrections or suggestions to
-<a href="mailto:webmasters@gnu.org";><webmasters@gnu.org></a>.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Please see the
-<a href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting
-translations of this article.
-</p>
+<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
+<a href="mailto:gnu@gnu.org";><gnu@gnu.org></a>.
+There are also <a href="/contact/">other ways to contact</a>
+the FSF. Broken links and other corrections or suggestions can be sent
+to <a href="mailto:webmasters@gnu.org";><webmasters@gnu.org></a>.</p>
+
+<p><!-- TRANSLATORS: Ignore the original text in this paragraph,
+ replace it with the translation of these two:
+
+ We work hard and do our best to provide accurate, good quality
+ translations. However, we are not exempt from imperfection.
+ Please send your comments and general suggestions in this regard
+ to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
+ <web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
+
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
+ our web pages, see <a
+ href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
+ README</a>. -->
+Please see the <a
+href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
+of this article.</p>
+</div>
<!--#include virtual="/server/bottom-notes.html" -->
-<p>Updated:
+<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2020/07/06 13:43:09 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/gospel.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/gospel.html,v
retrieving revision 1.15
retrieving revision 1.16
diff -u -b -r1.15 -r1.16
--- jokes/gospel.html 28 Feb 2013 17:09:08 -0000 1.15
+++ jokes/gospel.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.16
@@ -1,7 +1,19 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<title>Gospel - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation (FSF)</title>
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
+<title>Gospel - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
<!--#include virtual="/fun/jokes/po/gospel.translist" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#Unclassified">Unclassified</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>Rules, Sins, Virtues, Gods and more of The Church of EMACS according to The
Gospel of Prophet Antony</h2>
@@ -68,45 +80,52 @@
<p>Warning: Taking THE CHURCH OF EMACS seriously is hazardous to your
health; especially MENTAL HEALTH.</p>
-<p><a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a> in the GNU Humor
-Collection.</p>
-
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4>
-<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the
-FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email archives</a> of the GNU
-Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
-
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
+<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the FSF's email archives of the
+GNU Project. The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on it.</p>
+</div>
</div>
+</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
+<div class="unprintable">
-<div id="footer">
-<p>
-Please send FSF & GNU inquiries to
-<a href="mailto:gnu@gnu.org";><gnu@gnu.org></a>. There are
-also <a href="/contact/">other ways to contact</a> the FSF.
-<br />
-Please send broken links and other corrections or suggestions to
-<a href="mailto:webmasters@gnu.org";><webmasters@gnu.org></a>.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Please see the
-<a href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting
-translations of this article.
-</p>
+<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
+<a href="mailto:gnu@gnu.org";><gnu@gnu.org></a>.
+There are also <a href="/contact/">other ways to contact</a>
+the FSF. Broken links and other corrections or suggestions can be sent
+to <a href="mailto:webmasters@gnu.org";><webmasters@gnu.org></a>.</p>
+
+<p><!-- TRANSLATORS: Ignore the original text in this paragraph,
+ replace it with the translation of these two:
+
+ We work hard and do our best to provide accurate, good quality
+ translations. However, we are not exempt from imperfection.
+ Please send your comments and general suggestions in this regard
+ to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
+ <web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
+
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
+ our web pages, see <a
+ href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
+ README</a>. -->
+Please see the <a
+href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
+of this article.</p>
+</div>
<!--#include virtual="/server/bottom-notes.html" -->
-<p>Updated:
+<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2013/02/28 17:09:08 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/grammar-in-the-bar.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/grammar-in-the-bar.html,v
retrieving revision 1.1
retrieving revision 1.2
diff -u -b -r1.1 -r1.2
--- jokes/grammar-in-the-bar.html 30 Oct 2020 20:09:31 -0000 1.1
+++ jokes/grammar-in-the-bar.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.2
@@ -1,10 +1,20 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: Revision 1.94 -->
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>Grammar in the Bar
- GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
<!--#include virtual="/server/gnun/initial-translations-list.html" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#Unclassified">Unclassified</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>Grammar in the Bar</h2>
<ul>
@@ -24,7 +34,7 @@
<li>A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can
fly.</li>
<li>Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get
-out—we don't serve your type.”
+out—we don't serve your type.”</li>
<li>A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall
but hoping to nip it in the bud.</li>
<li>A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.</li>
@@ -54,22 +64,22 @@
bartender nearly chokes on the irony.</li>
</ul>
-<p><a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a> in the GNU Humor
-Collection.</p>
-
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
-
<p>These jokes were found on Diaspora by Alexandre Oliva in 2020. They
had swarmed around the web for several years and probably have numerous
authors. The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on them.</p>
+</div>
+</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
-<a href="mailto:gnu@gnu.org";><gnu@gnu.org></a>.</li>
+<a href="mailto:gnu@gnu.org";><gnu@gnu.org></a>.
There are also <a href="/contact/">other ways to contact</a>
the FSF. Broken links and other corrections or suggestions can be sent
to <a href="mailto:webmasters@gnu.org";><webmasters@gnu.org></a>.</p>
@@ -78,7 +88,7 @@
replace it with the translation of these two:
We work hard and do our best to provide accurate, good quality
- translations. However, we are not exempt from imperfection.</li>
+ translations. However, we are not exempt from imperfection.
Please send your comments and general suggestions in this regard
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
@@ -97,7 +107,7 @@
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2020/10/30 20:09:31 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
Index: jokes/hello_world_patent.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/hello_world_patent.html,v
retrieving revision 1.11
retrieving revision 1.12
diff -u -b -r1.11 -r1.12
--- jokes/hello_world_patent.html 28 Feb 2013 17:09:12 -0000 1.11
+++ jokes/hello_world_patent.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.12
@@ -1,13 +1,26 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<title>YAAS Foundation Patent Suit</title>
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
+<title>YAAS Foundation Patent Suit - GNU Project - Free Software
Foundation</title>
<!--#include virtual="/fun/jokes/po/hello_world_patent.translist" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-<h3>The YAAS Foundation Patent Suit</h3>
-
-<blockquote><pre>Date: Wed, 6 Aug 2003 16:46:55 +0200
-From: Stefan Midjich <stefan@ivan.nu>
-To: Richard Stallman <rms@stallman.org>
-Subject: Regarding Hello World</pre>
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#Philosophy">Philosophy</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
+<h2>The YAAS Foundation Patent Suit</h2>
+
+<p class="infobox">
+From: Stefan Midjich <stefan@ivan.nu><br />
+To: Richard Stallman <rms@stallman.org><br />
+Subject: Regarding Hello World<br />
+Date: Wed, 6 Aug 2003 16:46:55 +0200</p>
<p>Hello Mr.Stallman</p>
@@ -26,39 +39,53 @@
your sleep and cloning you for fun. We hope that you take upon this
as seriously as we do Mr.Stallman and we wish you a good day.</p>
-<p>—Stefan at YAAS</p></blockquote>
+<address>—Stefan at YAAS</address>
-<p><a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a> in the GNU Humor
-Collection.</p>
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
+<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+</div>
</div>
-<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
-<p>
-Please send FSF & GNU inquiries to
-<a href="mailto:gnu@gnu.org";><gnu@gnu.org></a>. There are
-also <a href="/contact/">other ways to contact</a> the FSF.
-<br />
-Please send broken links and other corrections or suggestions to
-<a href="mailto:webmasters@gnu.org";><webmasters@gnu.org></a>.
-</p>
+</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
+<div class="unprintable">
-<p>
-Please see the
-<a href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting
-translations of this article.
-</p>
+<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
+<a href="mailto:gnu@gnu.org";><gnu@gnu.org></a>.
+There are also <a href="/contact/">other ways to contact</a>
+the FSF. Broken links and other corrections or suggestions can be sent
+to <a href="mailto:webmasters@gnu.org";><webmasters@gnu.org></a>.</p>
+
+<p><!-- TRANSLATORS: Ignore the original text in this paragraph,
+ replace it with the translation of these two:
+
+ We work hard and do our best to provide accurate, good quality
+ translations. However, we are not exempt from imperfection.
+ Please send your comments and general suggestions in this regard
+ to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
+ <web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
+
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
+ our web pages, see <a
+ href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
+ README</a>. -->
+Please see the <a
+href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
+of this article.</p>
+</div>
<!--#include virtual="/server/bottom-notes.html" -->
-<p>Updated:
+<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2013/02/28 17:09:12 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/know.your.sysadmin.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/know.your.sysadmin.html,v
retrieving revision 1.21
retrieving revision 1.22
diff -u -b -r1.21 -r1.22
--- jokes/know.your.sysadmin.html 6 Jul 2020 13:43:09 -0000 1.21
+++ jokes/know.your.sysadmin.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.22
@@ -1,283 +1,310 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<title>Know your System Administrator - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation
-(FSF)</title>
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
+<title>Know your System Administrator - GNU Project - Free Software
Foundation</title>
+<style type="text/css" media="print,screen"><!--
+ul.sysadm li { margin-top: 1em; }
+--></style>
<!--#include virtual="/fun/jokes/po/know.your.sysadmin.translist" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-<h2>Know your System Administrator</h2>
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#Documentation">Documentation</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width" style="width: 55em">
+<h2 class="c">Know your System Administrator<br />
+<small>A Field Guide</small></h2>
-<p>(A field guide)</p>
+<address class="byline c">by Stephan Zielinski</address>
-<p>There are four major species of Unix sysad:</p>
+<p style="margin-top:2.5em">There are four major species of Unix sysad:</p>
<ol>
-<li>The <b>TECHNICAL THUG</b>. Usually a systems programmer who has
+<li><p>The <b>Technical thug</b> — Usually a systems programmer who has
been forced into system administration; writes scripts in a polyglot
-of the Bourne shell, sed, C, awk, perl, and APL.</li>
-<li>The <b>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST</b>. Usually a retentive drone (or
+of the Bourne shell, sed, C, awk, Perl, and APL.</p></li>
+<li><p>The <b>Administrative fascist</b> — Usually a retentive drone (or
rarely, a harridan ex-secretary) who has been forced into system
-administration.</li>
-<li>The <b>MANIAC</b>. Usually an aging cracker who discovered that
+administration.</p></li>
+<li><p>The <b>Maniac</b> — Usually an aging cracker who discovered that
neither the Mossad nor Cuba are willing to pay a living wage for
computer espionage. Fell into system administration; occasionally
-approaches major competitors with indesp schemes.</li>
-<li>The <b>IDIOT</b>. Usually a cretin, or old COBOL
+approaches major competitors with indesp schemes.</p></li>
+<li><p>The <b>Idiot</b> — Usually a cretin, or old COBOL
programmer selected to be the system administrator by a committee of
-cretins, and old COBOL programmers.</li>
+cretins, and old COBOL programmers.</p></li>
</ol>
-<h3>HOW TO IDENTIFY YOUR SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR</h3>
-
-<h4><b>SITUATION:</b> Low disk space</h4>
+<h3 class="subheader">How to Identify Your System Administrator</h3>
-<ul>
-<li><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Writes a suite of scripts to monitor disk
+<dl>
+<dt>SITUATION: Low disk space</dt>
+<dd>
+<ul class="sysadm">
+<li><p><i>Technical thug:</i> Writes a suite of scripts to monitor disk
usage, maintain a database of historic disk usage, predict future disk
usage via least squares regression analysis, identify users who are
more than a standard deviation over the mean, and send mail to the
offending parties. Places script in cron. Disk usage does not
change, since disk-hogs, by nature, either ignore script-generated
-mail, or file it away in triplicate.</li>
+mail, or file it away in triplicate.</p></li>
-<li><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Puts disk usage policy in
+<li><p><i>Administrative fascist:</i> Puts disk usage policy in
<code>motd</code>. Uses disk quotas. Allows no exceptions, thus crippling
-development work. Locks accounts that go over quota.</li>
+development work. Locks accounts that go over quota.</p></li>
-<li><i>MANIAC:</i>
-<pre>
+<li><p><i>Maniac:</i></p>
+<pre class="emph-box">
# cd /home
# rm -rf `du -s * | sort -rn | head -1 | awk '{print $2}'`;
</pre></li>
-<li><i>IDIOT:</i>
-<pre>
+<li><p><i>Idiot:</i></p>
+<pre class="emph-box">
# cd /home
# cat `du -s * | sort -rn | head -1 | awk '{ printf "%s/*\n", $2}'` | compress
</pre></li>
</ul>
+</dd>
-<h4><b>SITUATION:</b> Excessive CPU usage</h4>
-
-<ul>
-<li><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Writes a suite of scripts to monitor
+<dt>SITUATION: Excessive CPU usage</dt>
+<dd>
+<ul class="sysadm">
+<li><p><i>Technical thug:</i> Writes a suite of scripts to monitor
processes, maintain a database of CPU usage, identify processes more
than a standard deviation over the norm, and renice offending
processes. Places script in cron. Ends up renicing the production
database into oblivion, bringing operations to a grinding halt, much
-to the delight of the xtrek freaks.</li>
+to the delight of the xtrek freaks.</p></li>
-<li><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Puts CPU usage policy
+<li><p><i>Administrative fascist:</i> Puts CPU usage policy
in <code>motd</code>. Uses CPU quotas. Locks accounts that go over
quota. Allows no exceptions, thus crippling development work, much to
-the delight of the xtrek freaks.</li>
+the delight of the xtrek freaks.</p></li>
-<li><i>MANIAC:</i>
-<pre>
+<li><p><i>Maniac:</i></p>
+<pre class="emph-box">
# kill -9 `ps -augxww | sort -rn +8 -9 | head -1 | awk '{print $2}'`
</pre></li>
-<li><i>IDIOT:</i>
-<pre>
+<li><p><i>Idiot:</i></p>
+<pre class="emph-box">
# compress -f `ps -augxww | sort -rn +8 -9 | head -1 | awk '{print $2}'`
</pre></li>
</ul>
+</dd>
-<h4><b>SITUATION:</b> New account creation</h4>
-
-<ul>
-<li><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Writes perl script that creates home
+<dt>SITUATION: New account creation</dt>
+<dd>
+<ul class="sysadm">
+<li><p><i>Technical thug:</i> Writes Perl script that creates home
directory, copies in incomprehensible default environment, and places
entries in <code>/etc/passwd</code>, <code>/etc/shadow</code>,
-and <code>/etc/group</code>. (By hand, NOT with passmgmt.) Slaps on
+and <code>/etc/group</code>. (By hand, <em>not</em> with passmgmt.) Slaps on
setuid bit; tells a nearby secretary to handle new accounts. Usually,
said secretary is still dithering over the difference between
‘enter’ and ‘return’; and so, no new accounts
-are ever created.</li>
+are ever created.</p></li>
-<li><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Puts new account policy
+<li><p><i>Administrative fascist:</i> Puts new account policy
in <code>motd</code>. Since people without accounts cannot read
the <code>motd</code>, nobody ever fulfills the bureaucratic requirements;
-and so, no new accounts are ever created.</li>
+and so, no new accounts are ever created.</p></li>
-<li><i>MANIAC:</i> “If you're too stupid to break in and create
+<li><p><i>Maniac:</i> “If you're too stupid to break in and create
your own account, I don't want you on the system. We've got too many
-goddamn sh*t-for-brains a**holes on this box anyway.”</li>
+goddamn sh*t-for-brains a**holes on this box anyway.”</p></li>
-<li><i>IDIOT:</i>
-<pre>
+<li><p><i>Idiot:</i></p>
+<pre class="emph-box">
# cd /home; mkdir "Bob's home directory"
# echo "Bob Simon:gandalf:0:0::/dev/tty:compress -f" > /etc/passwd
</pre></li>
</ul>
+</dd>
-<h4><b>SITUATION:</b> Root disk fails</h4>
-
-<ul>
-<li><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Repairs drive. Usually is able to repair
+<dt>SITUATION: Root disk fails</dt>
+<dd>
+<ul class="sysadm">
+<li><p><i>Technical thug:</i> Repairs drive. Usually is able to repair
filesystem from boot monitor. Failing that, front-panel toggles
microkernel in and starts script on neighboring machine to load binary
boot code into broken machine, reformat and reinstall OS. Lets it run
-over the weekend while he goes mountain climbing.</li>
+over the weekend while he goes mountain climbing.</p></li>
-<li><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Begins investigation to determine
+<li><p><i>Administrative fascist:</i> Begins investigation to determine
who broke the drive. Refuses to fix system until culprit is
-identified and charged for the equipment.</li>
+identified and charged for the equipment.</p></li>
-<li><i>MANIAC, LARGE SYSTEM:</i> Rips drive from system, uses
+<li><p><i>Maniac, large system:</i> Rips drive from system, uses
sledgehammer to smash same to flinders. Calls manufacturer, threatens
pets. Abuses field engineer while they put in a new drive and
-reinstall the OS.</li>
+reinstall the OS.</p></li>
-<li><i>MANIAC, SMALL SYSTEM:</i> Rips drive from system, uses
+<li><p><i>Maniac, small system:</i> Rips drive from system, uses
ball-peen hammer to smash same to flinders. Calls Requisitions,
threatens pets. Abuses bystanders while putting in new drive and
-reinstalling OS.</li>
+reinstalling OS.</p></li>
-<li><i>IDIOT:</i> Doesn't notice anything wrong.</li>
+<li><p><i>Idiot:</i> Doesn't notice anything wrong.</p></li>
</ul>
+</dd>
-<h4><b>SITUATION:</b> Poor network response</h4>
-
-<ul>
-<li><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Writes scripts to monitor network, then
+<dt>SITUATION: Poor network response</dt>
+<dd>
+<ul class="sysadm">
+<li><p><i>Technical thug:</i> Writes scripts to monitor network, then
rewires entire machine room, improving response time by 2%. Shrugs
shoulders, says, “I've done all I can do,” and goes
-mountain climbing.</li>
+mountain climbing.</p></li>
-<li><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Puts network usage policy in
+<li><p><i>Administrative fascist:</i> Puts network usage policy in
<code>motd</code>. Calls up Berkeley and AT&T, badgers whoever
-answers for network quotas. Tries to get xtrek freaks fired.</li>
+answers for network quotas. Tries to get xtrek freaks fired.</p></li>
-<li><i>MANIAC:</i> Every two hours, pulls ethernet cable from wall and
-waits for connections to time out.</li>
+<li><p><i>Maniac:</i> Every two hours, pulls ethernet cable from wall and
+waits for connections to time out.</p></li>
-<li><i>IDIOT:</i>
-<pre>
+<li><p><i>Idiot:</i></p>
+<pre class="emph-box">
# compress -f /dev/en0
</pre></li>
</ul>
+</dd>
-<h4><b>SITUATION:</b> User questions</h4>
-
-<ul>
-<li><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Hacks the code of
+<dt>SITUATION: User questions</dt>
+<dd>
+<ul class="sysadm">
+<li><p><i>Technical thug:</i> Hacks the code of
emacs' <code>doctor-mode</code> to answer new users questions.
Doesn't bother to tell people how to start the new
-“guru-mode”, or for that matter, emacs.</li>
+“guru-mode”, or for that matter, emacs.</p></li>
-<li><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Puts user support policy in
+<li><p><i>Administrative fascist:</i> Puts user support policy in
<code>motd</code>. Maintains queue of questions. Answers them when he
gets a chance, often within two weeks of receipt of the proper
-form.</li>
+form.</p></li>
-<li><i>MANIAC:</i> Screams at users until they go away. Sometimes
+<li><p><i>Maniac:</i> Screams at users until they go away. Sometimes
barters knowledge for powerful drink and/or sycophantic
-adulation.</li>
+adulation.</p></li>
-<li><i>IDIOT:</i> Answers all questions to best of his knowledge until
-the user realizes few Unix systems support punched cards or JCL.</li>
+<li><p><i>Idiot:</i> Answers all questions to best of his knowledge until
+the user realizes few Unix systems support punched cards or JCL.</p></li>
</ul>
+</dd>
-<h4><b>SITUATION:</b> Stupid user questions</h4>
-
-<ul>
-<li><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Answers question in hex, binary, postfix,
-and/or French until user gives up and goes away.</li>
+<dt>SITUATION: Stupid user questions</dt>
+<dd>
+<ul class="sysadm">
+<li><p><i>Technical thug:</i> Answers question in hex, binary, postfix,
+and/or French until user gives up and goes away.</p></li>
-<li><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Locks user's account until user can
+<li><p><i>Administrative fascist:</i> Locks user's account until user can
present documentation demonstrating their qualification to use the
-machine.</li>
+machine.</p></li>
-<li><i>MANIAC:</i>
-<pre>
+<li><p><i>Maniac:</i></p>
+<pre class="emph-box">
# cat > > ~luser/.cshrc
alias vi 'rm \!*;unalias vi;grep -v BoZo ~/.cshrc > ~/.z; mv -f ~/.z ~/.cshrc'
^D
</pre></li>
-<li><i>IDIOT:</i> Answers all questions to best of his knowledge.
-Recruits user to system administration team.</li>
+<li><p><i>Idiot:</i> Answers all questions to best of his knowledge.
+Recruits user to system administration team.</p></li>
</ul>
+</dd>
-<h4><b>SITUATION:</b> Process accounting management</h4>
+<dt>SITUATION: Process accounting management</dt>
+<dd>
+<ul class="sysadm">
+<li><p><i>Technical thug:</i> Ignores packaged accounting software;
+trusts scripts to sniff out any problems & compute charges.</p></li>
-<ul>
-<li><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Ignores packaged accounting software;
-trusts scripts to sniff out any problems & compute charges.</li>
+<li><p><i>Administrative fascist:</i> Devotes 75% of disk space to
+accounting records owned by root and <code>chmod</code>'ed 000.</p></li>
-<li><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Devotes 75% of disk space to
-accounting records owned by root and <code>chmod</code>'ed 000.</li>
+<li><p><i>Maniac:</i> Laughs fool head off at very mention of
+accounting.</p></li>
-<li><i>MANIAC:</i> Laughs fool head off at very mention of
-accounting.</li>
-
-<li><i>IDIOT:</i>
-<pre>
+<li><p><i>Idiot:</i></p>
+<pre class="emph-box">
# lpr /etc/wtmp /usr/adm/paact
</pre></li>
</ul>
+</dd>
-<h4><b>SITUATION:</b> Religious war, BSD vs. System V</h4>
-
-<ul>
-<li><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> BSD. Crippled on System V boxes.</li>
+<dt>SITUATION: Religious war, BSD vs. System V</dt>
+<dd>
+<ul class="sysadm">
+<li><p><i>Technical thug:</i> BSD. Crippled on System V boxes.</p></li>
-<li><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> System V. Horrified by the people
-who use BSD. Places frequent calls to DEA.</li>
+<li><p><i>Administrative fascist:</i> System V. Horrified by the people
+who use BSD. Places frequent calls to DEA.</p></li>
-<li><i>MANIAC:</i> Prefers BSD, but doesn't care as long as HIS
-processes run quickly.</li>
+<li><p><i>Maniac:</i> Prefers BSD, but doesn't care as long as
<em>his</em>
+processes run quickly.</p></li>
-<li><i>IDIOT:</i>
-<pre>
+<li><p><i>Idiot:</i></p>
+<pre class="emph-box">
# cd c:
</pre></li>
</ul>
+</dd>
-<h4><b>SITUATION:</b> Religious war, System V vs. AIX</h4>
+<dt>SITUATION: Religious war, System V vs. AIX</dt>
+<dd>
+<ul class="sysadm">
+<li><p><i>Technical thug:</i> Weeps.</p></li>
-<ul>
-<li><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Weeps.</li>
+<li><p><i>Administrative fascist:</i> AIX—doesn't much care for the
+OS, but loves the jackboots.</p></li>
-<li><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> AIX—doesn't much care for the
-OS, but loves the jackboots.</li>
+<li><p><i>Maniac:</i> System V, but keeps AIX skills up, knowing full
+well how much Big Financial Institutions love IBM…</p></li>
-<li><i>MANIAC:</i> System V, but keeps AIX skills up, knowing full
-well how much Big Financial Institutions love IBM….</li>
-
-<li><i>IDIOT:</i> AIX.</li>
+<li><p><i>Idiot:</i> AIX.</p></li>
</ul>
+</dd>
-<h4><b>SITUATION:</b> Balky printer daemons.</h4>
-
-<ul>
-<li><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Rewrites lpd in FORTH.</li>
+<dt>SITUATION: Balky printer daemons</dt>
+<dd>
+<ul class="sysadm">
+<li><p><i>Technical thug:</i> Rewrites lpd in FORTH.</p></li>
-<li><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Puts printer use policy
+<li><p><i>Administrative fascist:</i> Puts printer use policy
in <code>motd</code>. Calls customer support every time the printer
freezes. Tries to get user who submitted the most recent job
-fired.</li>
+fired.</p></li>
-<li><i>MANIAC:</i> Writes script that kills all the daemons, clears
+<li><p><i>Maniac:</i> Writes script that kills all the daemons, clears
all the print queues, and maybe restarts the daemons. Runs it once a
-hour from cron.</li>
+hour from cron.</p></li>
-<li><i>IDIOT:</i>
-<pre>
+<li><p><i>Idiot:</i></p>
+<pre class="emph-box">
# kill -9 /dev/lp ; /dev/lp &
</pre></li>
</ul>
+</dd>
-<h4><b>SITUATION:</b> OS upgrade.</h4>
+<dt>SITUATION: OS upgrade</dt>
+<dd>
+<ul class="sysadm">
+<li><p><i>Technical thug:</i> Reads source code of new release, takes
+only what he likes.</p></li>
-<ul>
-<li><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Reads source code of new release, takes
-only what he likes.</li>
-
-<li><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Instigates lawsuit against the
+<li><p><i>Administrative fascist:</i> Instigates lawsuit against the
vendor for having shipped a product with bugs in it in the first
-place.</li>
+place.</p></li>
-<li><i>MANIAC:</i>
-<pre>
+<li><p><i>Maniac:</i></p>
+<pre class="emph-box">
# uptime
1:33pm up 19 days, 22:49, 167 users, load average: 6.49, 6.45, 6.31
# wall
@@ -286,27 +313,28 @@
^D
</pre></li>
-<li><i>IDIOT:</i>
-<pre>
+<li><p><i>Idiot:</i></p>
+<pre class="emph-box">
# dd if=/dev/rmt8 of=/vmunix
</pre></li>
</ul>
+</dd>
-<h4><b>SITUATION:</b> Balky mail.</h4>
-
-<ul>
-<li><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Rewrites <code>sendmail.cf</code> from scratch.
+<dt>SITUATION: Balky mail</dt>
+<dd>
+<ul class="sysadm">
+<li><p><i>Technical thug:</i> Rewrites <code>sendmail.cf</code> from
scratch.
Rewrites sendmail in SNOBOL. Hacks kernel to implement file locking.
Hacks kernel to implement “better” semaphores. Rewrites
-sendmail in assembly. Hacks kernel to …</li>
+sendmail in assembly. Hacks kernel to …</p></li>
-<li><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Puts mail use policy
+<li><p><i>Administrative fascist:</i> Puts mail use policy
in <code>motd</code>. Locks accounts that go over mail use quota. Keeps
quota low enough that people go back to interoffice mail, thus solving
-problem.</li>
+problem.</p></li>
-<li><i>MANIAC:</i>
-<pre>
+<li><p><i>Maniac:</i></p>
+<pre class="emph-box">
# kill -9 `ps -augxww | grep sendmail | awk '{print $2}'`
# rm -f /usr/spool/mail/*
# wall
@@ -317,54 +345,60 @@
^D
</pre></li>
-<li><i>IDIOT:</i>
-<pre>
+<li><p><i>Idiot:</i></p>
+<pre class="emph-box">
# echo "HELP!" | mail
tech_support.AT.vendor.com%kremvax%bitnet!BIFF!!!
</pre></li>
</ul>
+</dd>
-<h4><b>SITUATION:</b> Users want phone list application.</h4>
-
-<ul>
-<li><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Writes RDBMS in perl and Smalltalk. Users
-give up and go back to post-it notes.</li>
+<dt>SITUATION: Users want phone list application</dt>
+<dd>
+<ul class="sysadm">
+<li><p><i>Technical thug:</i> Writes RDBMS in Perl and Smalltalk. Users
+give up and go back to post-it notes.</p></li>
-<li><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Oracle. Users give up and go back
-to post-it notes.</li>
+<li><p><i>Administrative fascist:</i> Oracle. Users give up and go back
+to post-it notes.</p></li>
-<li><i>MANIAC:</i> Tells the users to use flat files and grep, the way
+<li><p><i>Maniac:</i> Tells the users to use flat files and grep, the way
God meant man to keep track of phone numbers. Users give up and go
-back to post-it notes.</li>
+back to post-it notes.</p></li>
-<li><i>IDIOT:</i>
-<pre>
+<li><p><i>Idiot:</i></p>
+<pre class="emph-box">
% dd ibs=80 if=/dev/rdisk001s7 | grep "Fred"
</pre></li>
</ul>
+</dd>
+</dl>
-<h4>Typical root <code>.cshrc</code> file:</h4>
+<h3 class="subheader">Other Guidelines</h3>
-<ul>
-<li><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Longer than eight kilobytes. Sources the
-output of a perl script, rewrites itself.</li>
+<dl>
+<dt>Typical root <code>.cshrc</code> file</dt>
+<dd>
+<ul class="sysadm">
+<li><p><i>Technical thug:</i> Longer than eight kilobytes. Sources the
+output of a Perl script, rewrites itself.</p></li>
-<li><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Typical lines include:
-<pre>
+<li><p><i>Administrative fascist:</i> Typical lines include</p>
+<pre class="emph-box">
umask 777
alias cd 'cd \!*; rm -rf ching *hack mille omega rogue xtrek > /dev/null &'
</pre></li>
-<li><i>MANIAC:</i> Typical lines include:
-<pre>
+<li><p><i>Maniac:</i> Typical lines include</p>
+<pre class="emph-box">
alias rm 'rm -rf \!*'
alias hose kill -9 '`ps -augxww | grep \!* | awk \'{print $2}\'`'
alias kill 'kill -9 \!* ; kill -9 \!* ; kill -9 \!*'
alias renice 'echo Renice\? You must mean kill -9.; kill -9 \!*'
</pre></li>
-<li><i>IDIOT:</i> Typical lines include:
-<pre>
+<li><p><i>Idiot:</i> Typical lines include</p>
+<pre class="emph-box">
alias dir ls
alias era rm
alias kitty cat
@@ -372,148 +406,161 @@
setenv DISPLAY vt100
</pre></li>
</ul>
+</dd>
-<h4>Hobbies, technical:</h4>
-
-<ul>
-<li><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Writes entries for Obsfuscated C contest.
+<dt>Hobbies, technical</dt>
+<dd>
+<ul class="sysadm">
+<li><p><i>Technical thug:</i> Writes entries for Obsfuscated C contest.
Optimizes INTERCAL scripts. Maintains ENIAC emulator. Virtual
-reality.</li>
+reality.</p></li>
-<li><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Bugs office. Audits card-key logs.
+<li><p><i>Administrative fascist:</i> Bugs office. Audits card-key logs.
Modifies old TVs to listen in on cellular phone conversations.
-Listens to police band.</li>
+Listens to police band.</p></li>
-<li><i>MANIAC:</i> Volunteers at Survival Research Labs. Bugs office.
+<li><p><i>Maniac:</i> Volunteers at Survival Research Labs. Bugs office.
Edits card-key logs. Modifies old TVs to listen in on cellular phone
-conversations. Jams police band.</li>
+conversations. Jams police band.</p></li>
-<li><i>IDIOT:</i> Ties shoes. Maintains COBOL decimal to roman
+<li><p><i>Idiot:</i> Ties shoes. Maintains COBOL decimal to roman
numeral converter. Rereads flowcharts from his salad days at
-Rand.</li>
+Rand.</p></li>
</ul>
+</dd>
-<h4>Hobbies, nontechnical:</h4>
-
-<ul>
-<li><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Drinks “Smart Drinks.” Attends
+<dt>Hobbies, nontechnical</dt>
+<dd>
+<ul class="sysadm">
+<li><p><i>Technical thug:</i> Drinks “Smart Drinks.” Attends
raves. Hangs out at poetry readings and Whole Earth Review events and
-tries to pick up Birkenstock MOTAS.</li>
+tries to pick up Birkenstock MOTAS.</p></li>
-<li><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Reads Readers Digest and Mein
-Kampf. Sometimes turns up car radio and sings along to John Denver.
+<li><p><i>Administrative fascist:</i> Reads <cite>Readers Digest</cite>
and <cite>Mein
+Kampf</cite>. Sometimes turns up car radio and sings along to John Denver.
Golfs. Drinks gin martinis. Hangs out in yuppie bars and tries to
-pick up dominatrixes.</li>
+pick up dominatrixes.</p></li>
-<li><i>MANIAC:</i> Reads Utne Reader and Mein Kampf. Faithfully
+<li><p><i>Maniac:</i> Reads <cite>Utne Reader</cite> and <cite>Mein
Kampf</cite>. Faithfully
attends Dickies and Ramones concerts. Punches out people who say
“virtual reality.” Drinks damn near anything, but favors
Wild Turkey, Black Bush, and grain alcohol. Hangs out in neighborhood
bars and tries to pick up MOTAS by drinking longshoremen under the
-table.</li>
+table.</p></li>
-<li><i>IDIOT:</i> Reads Time and Newsweek—and <b>believes</b>
+<li><p><i>Idiot:</i> Reads <cite>Time</cite> and
<cite>Newsweek</cite>—and <em>believes</em>
them. Drinks Jagermeister. Tries to pick up close blood
relations—often succeeds, producing next generation of
-idiots.</li>
+idiots.</p></li>
</ul>
+</dd>
-<h4>1992 Presidential Election:</h4>
+<dt>1992 Presidential Election</dt>
+<dd>
+<ul class="sysadm">
+<li><p><i>Technical thug:</i> Clinton, but only because he liked Gore's
+book.</p></li>
-<ul>
-<li><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Clinton, but only because he liked Gore's
-book.</li>
+<li><p><i>Administrative fascist:</i> Bush. Possibly Clinton, but only
+because he liked Tipper.</p></li>
-<li><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Bush. Possibly Clinton, but only
-because he liked Tipper.</li>
+<li><p><i>Maniac:</i> Frank Zappa.</p></li>
-<li><i>MANIAC:</i> Frank Zappa.</li>
-
-<li><i>IDIOT:</i> Perot.</li>
+<li><p><i>Idiot:</i> Perot.</p></li>
</ul>
+</dd>
-<h4>1996 Presidential Election:</h4>
-
-<ul>
-<li><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Richard Stallman — Larry Wall.</li>
+<dt>1996 Presidential Election</dt>
+<dd>
+<ul class="sysadm">
+<li><p><i>Technical thug:</i> Richard Stallman — Larry
Wall.</p></li>
-<li><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Nixon — Buchanan.</li>
+<li><p><i>Administrative fascist:</i> Nixon — Buchanan.</p></li>
-<li><i>MANIAC:</i> Frank Zappa.</li>
+<li><p><i>Maniac:</i> Frank Zappa.</p></li>
-<li><i>IDIOT:</i> Quayle.</li>
+<li><p><i>Idiot:</i> Quayle.</p></li>
</ul>
+</dd>
-<h4>Compound System Administrators:</h4>
-
-<ul>
-<li><i>TECHNICAL FASCIST:</i> Hacks kernel & writes a horde of
+<dt>Compound System Administrators</dt>
+<dd>
+<ul class="sysadm">
+<li><p><i>Technical fascist:</i> Hacks kernel & writes a horde of
scripts to prevent folk from ever using more than their fair share of
system resources. Resulting overhead and load brings system to its
-knees.</li>
+knees.</p></li>
-<li><i>TECHNICAL MANIAC:</i> Writes scripts that SEEM to be monitoring
+<li><p><i>Technical maniac:</i> Writes scripts that <em>seem</em> to be
monitoring
the system, but are actually encrypting large lists of passwords.
-Uses nearby nodes as beta test sites for worms.</li>
+Uses nearby nodes as beta test sites for worms.</p></li>
-<li><i>TECHNICAL IDIOT:</i> Writes superuser-run scripts that sooner
-or later do <code>rm -rf /</code>.</li>
+<li><p><i>Technical idiot:</i> Writes superuser-run scripts that sooner
+or later do <code>rm -rf /</code>.</p></li>
-<li><i>FASCISTIC MANIAC:</i> At first hint of cracker incursions,
+<li><p><i>Fascistic maniac:</i> At first hint of cracker incursions,
whether real or imagined, shuts down system by triggering
-water-on-the-brain detectors and Halon system.</li>
+water-on-the-brain detectors and Halon system.</p></li>
-<li><i>FASCISTIC IDIOT:</i>
-<pre>
+<li><p><i>Fascistic idiot:</i></p>
+<pre class="emph-box">
# cp /dev/null /etc/passwd
</pre></li>
-<li><i>MANIACAL IDIOT:</i> Napalms the CPU.</li>
+<li><p><i>Maniacal idiot:</i> Napalms the CPU.</p></li>
</ul>
+</dd>
+</dl>
-<p>
-—Stephan Zielinski</p>
-
-<p>—Submitted by <b>Durval Menezes</b></p>
-
-<p>This joke is also available
-in <a href="/fun/jokes/know.your.sysadmin.txt">plain text</a>.</p>
-
-<p><a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a> in the GNU Humor
-Collection.</p>
-
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4>
-<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the
-FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email archives</a> of the GNU
-Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/know.your.sysadmin.txt">Plain
+text version</a></p>
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<p> Source: <a
+href="https://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/92q4/sysadminguide.html";>
+rec.humor.funny</a> (1992), among others.</p>
+</div>
</div>
+</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
+<div class="unprintable">
-<div id="footer">
-<p>Please send FSF & GNU inquiries to
+<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
<a href="mailto:gnu@gnu.org";><gnu@gnu.org></a>.
There are also <a href="/contact/">other ways to contact</a>
-the FSF.<br />
-Please send broken links and other corrections or suggestions to
-<a href="mailto:webmasters@gnu.org";><webmasters@gnu.org></a>.</p>
-
-<p>Please see
-the <a href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+the FSF. Broken links and other corrections or suggestions can be sent
+to <a href="mailto:webmasters@gnu.org";><webmasters@gnu.org></a>.</p>
+
+<p><!-- TRANSLATORS: Ignore the original text in this paragraph,
+ replace it with the translation of these two:
+
+ We work hard and do our best to provide accurate, good quality
+ translations. However, we are not exempt from imperfection.
+ Please send your comments and general suggestions in this regard
+ to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
+ <web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
+
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
+ our web pages, see <a
+ href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
+ README</a>. -->
+Please see the <a
+href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
+</div>
<!--#include virtual="/server/bottom-notes.html" -->
-<p>Updated:
+<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2020/07/06 13:43:09 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/look-and-feel.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/look-and-feel.html,v
retrieving revision 1.11
retrieving revision 1.12
diff -u -b -r1.11 -r1.12
--- jokes/look-and-feel.html 12 Aug 2014 05:04:09 -0000 1.11
+++ jokes/look-and-feel.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.12
@@ -1,42 +1,52 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.77 -->
-
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>Look and Feel - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
-
<!--#include virtual="/server/gnun/initial-translations-list.html" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#TheFourthEstate">The Fourth Estate</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>Look and Feel</h2>
-<pre>
+<p>
In a surprise move today, Judaism filed suit against the Catholic Church,
-claiming Catholisism copied the "look and feel" of the religion.
+claiming Catholisism copied the “look and feel” of the religion.
Judaism, which has held the patent on the concept of a mono-theistic
-religion for over 3500 years as well as the copyright on Yahweh(R), The
-Old Testament(C), and the use of "CH"(tm) for the "H" sound, is suing for 2000
+religion for over 3500 years as well as the copyright on
Yahweh,<sup>®</sup> The
+Old Testament,<sup>©</sup> and the use of
“ch”<sup>™</sup>
+for the “h” sound, is suing for 2000
years of back royalties. They are also asking that the court disallow
-the use of the term "Judeo-Christian" from all textbooks.
-
+the use of the term “Judeo-Christian” from all textbooks.
+</p>
+<p>
The Pope was unavailable for comment, but a spokeman from the Vatican
stated the suit was unfounded as the patent on the concepts shared by
the two religions has long expired, and that the suit violates the
-separation of church and state. More news as the case develops.
-</pre>
+separation of Church and State. More news as the case develops.
+</p>
-<p>
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a>
-in the GNU Humor Collection.</p>
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/look-and-feel.txt">Original
+email</a></p>
-<div class="infobox">
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4><p>The joke on this page was
-obtained from the FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email
-archives</a> of the GNU Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
+<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the FSF's email archives of the
+GNU Project. The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on it.</p>
+</div>
</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -54,13 +64,13 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
@@ -68,10 +78,10 @@
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2014/08/12 05:04:09 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/luser-vs-rms.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/luser-vs-rms.html,v
retrieving revision 1.11
retrieving revision 1.12
diff -u -b -r1.11 -r1.12
--- jokes/luser-vs-rms.html 12 Aug 2014 05:04:09 -0000 1.11
+++ jokes/luser-vs-rms.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.12
@@ -1,48 +1,58 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.77 -->
-
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>Poor luser! - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
-
<!--#include virtual="/server/gnun/initial-translations-list.html" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#Unclassified">Unclassified</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>Luser vs RMS</h2>
-<pre>
-From: david d `zoo' zuhn
-Organization: Cygnus Support -- +1 415 903 1434
-
+<p class="infobox">
+From: david d `zoo' zuhn<br />
+Organization: Cygnus Support -- +1 415 903 1434</p>
+<p>
This is great. There are GNU users for whom the name 'rms' is completely
unknown.
-
+</p><p>
This guy sent in a request for a GUI GDB to the configure mailing list. I
-sent him an answer, and I got this back from him....
-
+sent him an answer, and I got this back from him…</p>
+<pre>
------- Forwarded Message
-
+</pre>
+<blockquote><p>
Thanx for the info. By the way I received a rather unfriendly response to
- the query from a "rms, Richard Stallman" at your site. It sounded like
+ the query from a “rms, Richard Stallman” at your site. It
sounded like
a philistine user, and I'm sorry if my query went to the wrong site, but
you might try to have controlled response privileges for such users.
-
+</p></blockquote>
+<pre>
------- End of Forwarded Message
</pre>
-<p>
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a>
-in the GNU Humor Collection.</p>
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/luser-vs-rms.txt">Plain
+text version</a></p>
-<div class="infobox">
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4><p>The joke on this page was
-obtained from the FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email
-archives</a> of the GNU Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
+<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the FSF's email archives of the
+GNU Project. The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on it.</p>
+</div>
</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -60,13 +70,13 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
@@ -74,10 +84,10 @@
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2014/08/12 05:04:09 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/microsoft-church.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/microsoft-church.html,v
retrieving revision 1.13
retrieving revision 1.14
diff -u -b -r1.13 -r1.14
--- jokes/microsoft-church.html 12 Aug 2014 05:04:09 -0000 1.13
+++ jokes/microsoft-church.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.14
@@ -1,150 +1,169 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.77 -->
-
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>Microsoft and the Church - GNU Project - Free Software
Foundation</title>
-
<!--#include virtual="/server/gnun/initial-translations-list.html" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-
-<h2>Microsoft and the Church</h2>
-
-<pre>
-<!-- When using this boilerplate, remember to replace the
- "JokeTITLE" in both places above.
- And if it's a song, not a joke, change that word in the Disclaimer.
--->
-MICROSOFT Bids to Acquire Catholic Church
-
-By Hank Vorjes
-
-VATICAN CITY (AP) -- In a joint press conference in St. Peter's Square
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#TheFourthEstate">The Fourth Estate</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
+<h2 class="c">Microsoft and the Church</h2>
+
+
+<h3>Microsoft Bids to Acquire Catholic Church</h3>
+
+<address class="byline">by Hank Vorjes</address>
+
+<p class="infobox">
+From: Newswire Mailing<br />
+To: IS Daily News Services for Executives<br />
+Cc: Newswire Mailing<br />
+Subject: MICROSOFT: Bids to Acquire Catholic Church<br />
+Date: Tuesday, November 29, 1994 7:16AM
+</p><p>
+VATICAN CITY (AP) — In a joint press conference in St. Peter's Square
this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican announced that the
Redmond software giant will acquire the Roman Catholic Church in
exchange for an unspecified number of shares of MICROSOFT common stock.
If the deal goes through, it will be the first time a computer software
company has acquired a major world religion.
-
+</p><p>
With the acquisition, Pope John Paul II will become the senior
vice-president of the combined company's new Religious Software
Division, while MICROSOFT senior vice-presidents Michael Maples and
Steven Ballmer will be invested in the College of Cardinals, said
MICROSOFT Chairman Bill Gates.
-
-"We expect a lot of growth in the religious market in the next five to
-ten years," said Gates. "The combined resources of MICROSOFT and the
+</p><p>
+“We expect a lot of growth in the religious market in the next five to
+ten years,” said Gates. “The combined resources of MICROSOFT and
the
Catholic Church will allow us to make religion easier and more fun for
-a broader range of people."
-
-Through the MICROSOFT Network, the company's new on-line service, "we
-will make the sacraments available on-line for the first time" and
+a broader range of people.”
+</p><p>
+Through the MICROSOFT Network, the company's new on-line service, “we
+will make the sacraments available on-line for the first time” and
revive the popular pre-Counter-Reformation practice of selling
-indulgences, said Gates. "You can get Communion, confess your sins,
-receive absolution -- even reduce your time in Purgatory -- all without
-leaving your home."
-
+indulgences, said Gates. “You can get Communion, confess your sins,
+receive absolution—even reduce your time in Purgatory—all without
+leaving your home.”
+</p><p>
A new software application, MICROSOFT Church, will include a macro
language which you can program to download heavenly graces
automatically while you are away from your computer.
-
+</p><p>
An estimated 17,000 people attended the announcement in St Peter's
-Square, watching on a 60-foot screen as comedian Don Novello -- in
-character as Father Guido Sarducci -- hosted the event, which was
+Square, watching on a 60-foot screen as comedian Don Novello—in
+character as Father Guido Sarducci—hosted the event, which was
broadcast by satellite to 700 sites worldwide.
-
+</p><p>
Pope John Paul II said little during the announcement. When Novello
-chided Gates, "Now I guess you get to wear one of these pointy hats,"
+chided Gates, “Now I guess you get to wear one of these pointy
hats,”
the crowd roared, but the pontiff's smile seemed strained.
-
+</p><p>
The deal grants MICROSOFT exclusive electronic rights to the Bible and
the Vatican's prized art collection, which includes works by such
masters as Michelangelo and Da Vinci. But critics say MICROSOFT will
face stiff challenges if it attempts to limit competitors' access to
these key intellectual properties.
-
-"The Jewish people invented the look and feel of the holy scriptures,"
-said Rabbi David Gottschalk of Philadelphia. "You take the parting of
-the Red Sea -- we had that thousands of years before the Catholics came
-on the scene."
-
+</p><p>
+“The Jewish people invented the look and feel of the holy
scriptures,”
+said Rabbi David Gottschalk of Philadelphia. “You take the parting of
+the Red Sea—we had that thousands of years before the Catholics came
+on the scene.”
+</p><p>
But others argue that the Catholic and Jewish faiths both draw on a
-common Abrahamic heritage. "The Catholic Church has just been more
-successful in marketing it to a larger audience," notes Notre Dame
+common Abrahamic heritage. “The Catholic Church has just been more
+successful in marketing it to a larger audience,” notes Notre Dame
theologian Father Kenneth Madigan. Over the last 2,000 years, the
Catholic Church's market share has increased dramatically, while
Judaism, which was the first to offer many of the concepts now touted
by Christianity, lags behind.
-
+</p><p>
Historically, the Church has a reputation as an aggressive competitor,
leading crusades to pressure people to upgrade to Catholicism, and
entering into exclusive licensing arrangements in various kingdoms
whereby all subjects were instilled with Catholicism, whether or not
they planned to use it. Today Christianity is available from several
denominations, but the Catholic version is still the most widely used.
-The Church's mission is to reach "the four corners of the earth,"
-echoing MICROSOFT's vision of "a computer on every desktop and in every
-home".
-
+The Church's mission is to reach “the four corners of the earth,”
+echoing MICROSOFT's vision of “a computer on every desktop and in every
+home.”
+</p><p>
Gates described MICROSOFT's long-term strategy to develop a scalable
religious architecture that will support all religions through
emulation. A single core religion will be offered with a choice of
-interfaces according to the religion desired -- "One religion, a couple
-of different implementations," said Gates.
-
+interfaces according to the religion desired—“One religion, a
couple
+of different implementations,” said Gates.
+</p><p>
The MICROSOFT move could spark a wave of mergers and acquisitions,
according to Herb Peters, a spokesman for the U.S. Southern Baptist
Conference, as other churches scramble to strengthen their position in
the increasingly competitive religious market.
-
+</p><p style="margin: 1.5em 0">
KBviaNewsEDGE
-
-
-Copyright (c) 1994 Knight-Ridder / Tribune Business News
+</p><p>
+Copyright © 1994 Knight-Ridder / Tribune Business News<br />
Received via NewsEDGE from Desktop Data, Inc.: 03/07/94 19:20
-
+</p><p>
THE ABOVE MATERIAL IS COPYRIGHTED AND SHOULD NOT BE
REPRODUCED OR DISTRIBUTED.
-</pre>
+</p>
-<hr />
+<p class="infobox" style="margin-top: 2em">[Source: <a
+href="https://web.archive.org/web/19990221182259/http://www.spunk.org/library/humour/sp001526.html";>
+spunk.org</a>]</p>
-<pre>
-Bill Gates eventually arrives at the the day of judgement.
+<div class="column-limit"></div>
+<h3>Bill Gates and St Peter</h3>
+
+<p>
+Bill Gates eventually arrives at the day of judgement.
+</p><p>
St. Peter greets him, and explains that while he did contribute a lot of
money to charities, he also ripped a lot of people off when they were forced
to pay for his software if they wanted to buy a piece of hardware from a
store.
-
+</p><p>
St. Peter says that under the circumstances, he will give Gates the choice
of going to heaven or going to hell, and offers a tour. Gates accepts, and
first St. peter takes him to heaven. In heaven, Gates sees a very serene
place, with people discussing philosophy and walking together through a
wooded landscape.
-
+</p><p>
They then move on to hell. Gates sees a big beach party, with everyone
fornicating, smoking cigarettes, eating gourmet food, and drinking.
-
+</p><p>
When Gates is asked, he chooses to go to hell, and is immediately plunged
into a firey furnace with the screams of tortured souls deafening him.
+</p><p>
+“Hey, St. Pete, what's all this?” screams Gates “Where's the
beach party?”
+“Oh, I only showed you the demo version,” St. Peter replies.
+</p>
-"Hey, St. Pete, what's all this?" screams Gates "Where's the beach party?".
-"Oh, I only showed you the demo version." St.Peter replies.
-</pre>
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/microsoft-church.txt">Plain
+text version</a></p>
-<p>
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a>
-in the GNU Humor Collection.</p>
+<p class="infobox">[Source: <a
+href="https://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/94q4/vaticanms.html";>rec.humor.funny</a>
(1994)]</p>
-<div class="infobox">
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4><p>The joke on this page was
-obtained from the FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email
-archives</a> of the GNU Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
+<p>The jokes on this page were obtained from the FSF's email archives of the
+GNU Project. The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on them.</p>
+</div>
</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -162,13 +181,13 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
@@ -176,10 +195,10 @@
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2014/08/12 05:04:09 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/musical-pickup.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/musical-pickup.html,v
retrieving revision 1.10
retrieving revision 1.11
diff -u -b -r1.10 -r1.11
--- jokes/musical-pickup.html 4 Jun 2020 09:22:29 -0000 1.10
+++ jokes/musical-pickup.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.11
@@ -1,96 +1,112 @@
-<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 3.2 Final//EN">
-<HTML>
-<HEAD>
-<TITLE>Musical pick-up - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation (FSF)</TITLE>
-<meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8">
-<LINK REV="made" HREF="mailto:webmasters@gnu.org";>
-</HEAD>
-<BODY BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#000000" LINK="#1F00FF" ALINK="#FF0000"
VLINK="#9900DD">
-
-<H3>Musical pick-up!</H3>
-
-<A HREF="/graphics/gleesons.html"><IMG SRC="/graphics/gleeson_head.jpg"
- ALT=" [colorful rounded image of the Head of a GNU]"
- WIDTH="153" HEIGHT="128"></A>
-
-<HR>
-
-<PRE>
-<!-- When using this boilerplate, remember to replace the
- "JokeTITLE" in both places above.
- And if it's a song, not a joke, change that word in the Disclaimer.
--->
-A pick-up expressed in musical terms:
-
- hymn (the guy)
- bar line (where he meets her)
- sax (what he wants)
- suite (what he says she is)
- sheet music (what she puts on the CD player in her room)
- sol-fa (what they lie down on)
- "Triad!" (he suggests tying her up with a major chord)
- "Duet!" (her answer)
- staff (what he pulls out next)
- score (what he does)
- no treble (what he's had)
- a trill (what he assumes she's had)
- a C note (what she hopes for)
- forte (what she's willing to accept)
- a tenor (what he ends up paying)
- "Bass!" (what she calls him)
- "Pitch!" (what he calls her)
-
- Amities, Jane
---
-Selected by Brad Templeton. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com.
-Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.
-If you don't need an auto-reply, submit to rhf@clarinet.com instead.
-
-</PRE>
-
-<HR>
-
-<P>
-<A HREF="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</A>
-in the GNU Humor Collection.
-
-
-<H4>Disclaimer</H4>
-
-The joke on this page was obtained from the FSF's email archives
-of the GNU Project.
-<BR>
-The Free Software Foundation claims no copyrights on this joke.
-
-<P>
-<!--
- * If needed, change the copyright block at the bottom. In general, all pages
- on the GNU web server should have the section about verbatim copying.
Please
- do NOT remove this without talking with the webmasters first.
--->
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-<P>
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-<P>
-
-Please send comments on these web pages to
-
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-send other questions to
-<A HREF="mailto:gnu@gnu.org";><EM>gnu@gnu.org</EM></A>.
-<P>
-Updated:
-<!-- hhmts start -->
-$Date: 2020/06/04 09:22:29 $
-<!-- hhmts end -->
-<HR>
-</BODY>
-</HTML>
+<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
+<title>Musical pick-up - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
+<style type="text/css" media="print,screen"><!--
+dl.def { margin: 2em auto; }
+dl.def dt, dl.def dd {
+ display: inline-block; vertical-align: top;
+ margin: 0;
+}
+dl.def dt {
+ width: 25%; max-width: 8em;
+ font-weight: normal; font-style: italic;
+ margin: 0; padding: .5em 3% .5em 0;
+}
+dl.def dt i { color: #572385; }
+dl.def dd { width: 67%; padding: .5em 0 .5em 0; }
+@media (max-width: 30em) {
+ dl.def dt, dl.def dd { display: block; width: auto; }
+ dl.def dd { padding: 0 0 .5em 1em; }
+}
+--></style>
+<!--#include virtual="/server/gnun/initial-translations-list.html" -->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a
href="/fun/humor.html#Dictionary">Dictionary & Word play</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width" style="width: 40em;">
+<h2>Musical pick-up!</h2>
+
+<address class="byline">by Jane R. Ring</address>
+
+<p>A pick-up expressed in musical terms:</p>
+
+<dl class="def">
+ <dt>hymn</dt><dd>the guy</dd>
+ <dt>bar line</dt><dd>where he meets her</dd>
+ <dt>sax</dt><dd>what he wants</dd>
+ <dt>suite</dt><dd>what he says she is</dd>
+ <dt>sheet music</dt><dd>what she puts on the CD player in her room</dd>
+ <dt>sol-fa</dt><dd>what they lie down on</dd>
+ <dt>“Triad!”</dt><dd>he suggests tying her up with a major
chord</dd>
+ <dt>“Duet!”</dt><dd>her answer</dd>
+ <dt>staff</dt><dd>what he pulls out next</dd>
+ <dt>score</dt><dd>what he does</dd>
+ <dt>no treble</dt><dd>what he's had</dd>
+ <dt>a trill</dt><dd>what he assumes she's had</dd>
+ <dt>a C note</dt><dd>what she hopes for</dd>
+ <dt>forte</dt><dd>what she's willing to accept</dd>
+ <dt>a tenor</dt><dd>what he ends up paying</dd>
+ <dt>“Bass!”</dt><dd>what she calls him</dd>
+ <dt>“Pitch!”</dt><dd>what he calls her</dd>
+</dl>
+
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/musical-pickup.txt">Original
+email</a></p>
+
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<p>Source: <a
+href="https://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/92q3/muspun.html";>
+rec.humor.funny</a> (1992)</p>
+</div>
+</div>
+
+</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
+<div class="unprintable">
+
+<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
+<a href="mailto:gnu@gnu.org";><gnu@gnu.org></a>.
+There are also <a href="/contact/">other ways to contact</a>
+the FSF. Broken links and other corrections or suggestions can be sent
+to <a href="mailto:webmasters@gnu.org";><webmasters@gnu.org></a>.</p>
+
+<p><!-- TRANSLATORS: Ignore the original text in this paragraph,
+ replace it with the translation of these two:
+
+ We work hard and do our best to provide accurate, good quality
+ translations. However, we are not exempt from imperfection.
+ Please send your comments and general suggestions in this regard
+ to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
+ <web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
+
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
+ our web pages, see <a
+ href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
+ README</a>. -->
+Please see the <a
+href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
+of this article.</p>
+</div>
+
+<!--#include virtual="/server/bottom-notes.html" -->
+
+<p class="unprintable">Updated:
+<!-- timestamp start -->
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
+<!-- timestamp end -->
+</p>
+</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
+</body>
+</html>
Index: jokes/paging.game.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/paging.game.html,v
retrieving revision 1.17
retrieving revision 1.18
diff -u -b -r1.17 -r1.18
--- jokes/paging.game.html 4 Jun 2020 09:22:29 -0000 1.17
+++ jokes/paging.game.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.18
@@ -1,25 +1,26 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.84 -->
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>The Paging Game
- GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
<!--#include virtual="/server/gnun/initial-translations-list.html" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-<h2>The Paging Game</h2>
-<address>paul@atherton.com (Paul Sander)</address>
-<p>(computer, chuckle)<br />
-<cite>From the <a
-href="http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/";>rec.humor.funny</a> joke
-archives.</cite>
-</p>
-
-<p>
-[I got this from my uncle, who works at one of IBM's Silicon Valley labs. I
-don't know where he got it.]
-</p>
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#Unclassified">Unclassified</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
+<h2 class="c">The Paging Game</h2>
-<h3>The Paging Game</h3>
+<address class="byline c">Jeff Berryman<br /><small>University of British
+Columbia</small></address>
-<p><em>Jeff Berryman, University of British Columbia</em></p>
+<h3>Rules</h3>
<ol>
<li>Each player gets several million “things.”</li>
@@ -71,8 +72,7 @@
</ol>
-<h4>Notes</h4>
-
+<h3>Notes</h3>
<ol>
<li>Traditionally, the Thing King sits at a large, segmented table and is
attended to by pages (the so-called “table pages”) whose
@@ -102,15 +102,14 @@
warehouses are getting full.</li>
</ol>
-<h3>Long Live the Thing King</h3>
+<p class="c">LONG LIVE THE THING KING!</p>
+<h4>Additional notes</h4>
<p>
-[The following appear to have been added later, as they were typed in a
+[The following notes appear to have been added later, as they were typed in a
different font.]
</p>
-<h4>Notes:</h4>
-
<ol>
<li>The VM Thing King is considerably stronger than the Thing King of the
system described above. He uses crates containing 4096 things.</li>
@@ -128,18 +127,22 @@
than offset by the reduction in the number of trips necessary.</li>
</ol>
-<p>{ed From <em>Multing</em> Magazine}</p>
+<p>{ed From <cite>Multing</cite> Magazine}</p>
-<h3>Disclaimer</h3>
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/paging.game.txt">Plain
+text version</a></p>
-The joke on this page was obtained from the FSF's email archives
-of the GNU Project.
-<br />
-The Free Software Foundation claims no copyrights on this joke.
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<p>Source: <a
+href="https://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/90q4/virtmem.html";>
+rec.humor.funny</a> (1990)</p>
+</div>
+</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -157,42 +160,24 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
-<!-- Regarding copyright, in general, standalone pages (as opposed to
- files generated as part of manuals) on the GNU web server should
- be under CC BY-ND 3.0 US. Please do NOT change or remove this
- without talking with the webmasters or licensing team first.
- Please make sure the copyright date is consistent with the
- document. For web pages, it is ok to list just the latest year the
- document was modified, or published.
-
- If you wish to list earlier years, that is ok too.
- Either "2001, 2002, 2003" or "2001-2003" are ok for specifying
- years, as long as each year in the range is in fact a copyrightable
- year, i.e., a year in which the document was published (including
- being publicly visible on the web or in a revision control system).
-
- There is more detail about copyright years in the GNU Maintainers
- Information document, www.gnu.org/prep/maintain. -->
-
-
<!--#include virtual="/server/bottom-notes.html" -->
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2020/06/04 09:22:29 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/panama.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/panama.html,v
retrieving revision 1.11
retrieving revision 1.12
diff -u -b -r1.11 -r1.12
--- jokes/panama.html 12 Aug 2014 05:04:09 -0000 1.11
+++ jokes/panama.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.12
@@ -1,40 +1,49 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.77 -->
-
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>Panama - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
-
<!--#include virtual="/server/gnun/initial-translations-list.html" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a
href="/fun/humor.html#Dictionary">Dictionary & word play</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>Panama</h2>
-<pre>
-[ From: Don Levinstone, Elizabeth, Peter Cohen ]
+<address class="infobox">From Don Levinstone, Elizabeth and Peter
Cohen</address>
+<p>
A man, a plan, a canoe, pasta, hero's rajahs, a coloratura, maps, snipe,
percale, macaroni, a gag, a banana bag, a tan, a cat, a mane, paper, a
Toyota, rep, a pen, a mat, a can, a tag, a banana bag again, or: a camel,
a crepe, pins, spam, a rut, a Rolo, cash, a jar, sore hats, a peon, a
canal, Panama!
-
+</p>
+<p>
For numerically/verbally challenged folks, the split happens at the y in
-Toyota...
-</pre>
+Toyota…
+</p>
-<p>
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a>
-in the GNU Humor Collection.</p>
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/panama.txt">Plain
+text version</a></p>
-<div class="infobox">
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4><p>The joke on this page was
-obtained from the FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email
-archives</a> of the GNU Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
+<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the FSF's email archives of the
+GNU Project. The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on it.</p>
+</div>
</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -52,13 +61,13 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
@@ -66,10 +75,10 @@
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2014/08/12 05:04:09 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/phone.features.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/phone.features.html,v
retrieving revision 1.12
retrieving revision 1.13
diff -u -b -r1.12 -r1.13
--- jokes/phone.features.html 12 Aug 2014 05:04:10 -0000 1.12
+++ jokes/phone.features.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.13
@@ -1,106 +1,138 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.77 -->
-
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>Phone Features - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
-
+<style type="text/css" media="print,screen"><!--
+dl.terms dd { margin-top: 0; }
+dl.terms dt { margin: 0; }
+--></style>
<!--#include virtual="/server/gnun/initial-translations-list.html" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a
href="/fun/humor.html#ScienceAndEngineering">Science & Engineering</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>Phone Features</h2>
-<pre>
-From: don (Don Levinstone)
+<p class="infobox">
+Date: Wed, 12 Jun 91 16:48:17 EDT<br />
+From: don (Don Levinstone)<br />
+To: bunky dan elf fredm geoff gerry joanne kevin maggie pamela rick stormy
wse<br />
+Subject: fyi: leisure-time reading only. Phone Joke</p>
+<p>
Would the invention of the telephone ever have gotten off the
-ground if Alexander Graham Bell's first call had gone...
+ground if Alexander Graham Bell's first call had gone…</p>
- Bell: Mr. Watson, come here; I want you.
+<blockquote>
+<p><i>Bell:</i> Mr. Watson, come here; I want you.</p>
- Voice: If you know Watson's extension, press 1 now. If you
+<p><i>Voice:</i> If you know Watson's extension, press 1 now. If you
would like to leave a message for Watson, press 2. If
you need further assistance, hold the line for the next
- available representative....
+ available representative…</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>
The telephone, which was satisfied for a century or so simply
placing and receiving calls, has become a different animal in
recent years. These days, everybody has an answering machine, a
speakerphone, and a slew of other telecommunication doodads. Call
waiting, caller ID, and last-number redial are fine, but here are
-some options that can't be far behind.
+some options that can't be far behind.</p>
- ON-HOLD DISRUPT: When someone puts you on hold for more than
+<dl class="terms">
+<dt>ON-HOLD DISRUPT</dt>
+<dd>When someone puts you on hold for more than
15 seconds, a digitized voice blares over his or her
- speakerphone, "Hey! Remember me? I don't have all day!" (This
- option also shorts out Muzak if it's being played.)
+ speakerphone, “Hey! Remember me? I don't have all day!” (This
+ option also shorts out Muzak if it's being played.)</dd>
- CALL SCHMOOZING: Stuck listening to a long-winded
+<dt>CALL SCHMOOZING</dt>
+<dd>Stuck listening to a long-winded
acquaintance? Call schmoozing activates a speech-synthesized
- voice that sounds just like you and repeats "Uh-huh...I
- see...right" while the other party babbles on. He or she
+ voice that sounds just like you and repeats “Uh-huh… I
+ see… right” while the other party babbles on. He or she
thinks you're hanging on every word, when you're actually
- getting your work done.
+ getting your work done.</dd>
- CALL SCHMOOZING PLUS: Your phone places calls to important
+<dt>CALL SCHMOOZING PLUS</dt>
+<dd>Your phone places calls to important
contacts, trades pleasantries, probes for career-enhancing
- information, and ends by saying, "You're beautiful. Let's do
- lunch. Don't ever change."
+ information, and ends by saying, “You're beautiful. Let's do
+ lunch. Don't ever change.”</dd>
- GOSSIP NOTIFICATION: Company rumors are automatically
+<dt>GOSSIP NOTIFICATION</dt>
+<dd>Company rumors are automatically
broadcast to selected voice mailboxes. Time once wasted
- circulating gossip translates into increased productivity.
+ circulating gossip translates into increased productivity.</dd>
- CALL TERMINATE: Imagine being able to fire troublesome
+<dt>CALL TERMINATE</dt>
+<dd>Imagine being able to fire troublesome
employees just by dialing their numbers! An excellent feature
- for executives with poor confrontation skills.
+ for executives with poor confrontation skills.</dd>
- NETWORK EAVESDROP: A must for the paranoid manager. Whenever
+<dt>NETWORK EAVESDROP</dt>
+<dd>A must for the paranoid manager. Whenever
anyone in the company mentions your name during a phone
conversation, a voice-activated tape-recorder stores the call
so you can review it later and hear what people are saying
- about you.
+ about you.</dd>
- SELECTIVE CALL DISCOURAGING: Program the numbers of people
+<dt>SELECTIVE CALL DISCOURAGING</dt>
+<dd>Program the numbers of people
you really don't want to speak with. When they dial your
number, your phone transmits a mild electric shock through
- their receivers.
+ their receivers.</dd>
- CELLULAR CRANK CALL: On command, your car phone can dial any
+<dt>CELLULAR CRANK CALL</dt>
+<dd>On command, your car phone can dial any
other car phone within a 30-mile radius and tell the driver
- his muffler looks as though it's about to fall off.
+ his muffler looks as though it's about to fall off.</dd>
- CALL REMINDING: Store the birthdays and anniversaries of
+<dt>CALL REMINDING</dt>
+<dd>Store the birthdays and anniversaries of
loved ones in your telephone's memory. On the appropriate
days, the phone automatically calls them and relays heartfelt
- sentiments in a digitized voice simulating your own.
+ sentiments in a digitized voice simulating your own.</dd>
- CALL INTERRUPT: When you need to end a conversation quickly,
+<dt>CALL INTERRUPT</dt>
+<dd>When you need to end a conversation quickly,
a button on your phone causes a fake operator to break in and
announce that you have an emergency call on the line from
- Steve Jobs.
+ Steve Jobs.</dd>
- SUBLIMINA-CALL: Periodically during a conversation, the phone
- plays subliminal messages to the other party, such as "Say
- yes" and "Increase my department's budget."
+<dt>SUBLIMINA-CALL</dt>
+<dd>Periodically during a conversation, the phone
+ plays subliminal messages to the other party, such as “Say
+ yes” and “Increase my department's budget.”</dd>
- CHARGE-FORWARDING: A quick push of a button charges any long-
+<dt>CHARGE-FORWARDING</dt>
+<dd>A quick push of a button charges any long-
distance call to the person you're calling or to friends who
- don't look too closely at their phone bills.
-</pre>
+ don't look too closely at their phone bills.</dd>
+</dl>
-<p>
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a>
-in the GNU Humor Collection.</p>
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/phone.features.txt">Original
+email</a></p>
-<div class="infobox">
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4><p>The joke on this page was
-obtained from the FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email
-archives</a> of the GNU Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
+<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the FSF's email archives of the
+GNU Project (1991). The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on it.</p>
+</div>
</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -118,13 +150,13 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
@@ -132,10 +164,10 @@
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2014/08/12 05:04:10 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/physics.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/physics.html,v
retrieving revision 1.11
retrieving revision 1.12
diff -u -b -r1.11 -r1.12
--- jokes/physics.html 12 Aug 2014 05:04:10 -0000 1.11
+++ jokes/physics.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.12
@@ -1,88 +1,114 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.77 -->
-
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>Physics Store - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
-
+<style type="text/css" media="print,screen">
+address.byline { margin-bottom: 0; }
+.physics { overflow-x: auto; }
+.physics caption { font-size: 1.25em; }
+.physics td { padding: .5em .8em; }
+td.price { width: 40%; }
+.physics td p { padding-left: 10%; margin: 0; }
+</style>
<!--#include virtual="/server/gnun/initial-translations-list.html" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a
href="/fun/humor.html#ScienceAndEngineering">Science & Engineering</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>The Physics Store!</h2>
-<pre>
- ACME PHYSICS SUPPLY SHOPPE
--------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-Frictionless Surfaces only $4.95 per square meter!
-
-Inextensible Massless Rope only $1.99 per meter!
-
-Point Masses only $1.39 per kilogram!
-
-Massless, Zero-Volume Paint
- --Perfect for labeling those *** SOLD OUT ***
- pesky electrons so you can
- keep them straight!
-
-Frictionless Pulleys only $2.00 ea.
-
-Massless Pulleys only $4.49 ea.
-
-Frictionless, Massless Pulleys regularly $10.00, now only
- $7.49 !
-
-Ideal Springs $.75 and up
-
-Ideal Gas
- -monatomic $5.00 per liter *
- -diatomic $7.50 per liter *
- -triatomic $10.00 per liter *
-
-* plus deposit on container. All gases delivered at STP.
+<address class="byline">by B. Bacher</address>
-Magnetic Monopoles $1.25 ea.
- --Great Party Jokes!
- Thousands of Possibilities!
- Annoy that theoretician in your family!
+<p>with a bit of help from a few friends…</p>
-Perfect Voltmeter only $99.99
-
-Perfect Ammeter only $159.99
-
-Special Sale:
- Buy Ammeter, get Voltmeter for half price!
-
-700 W Perfect Refrigerator only $899.99
-
-Zero-Resistance Wire
- --Various guages available, inquire as to price and/or availability
-
-
-
-An original idea by B. Bacher, with a bit of help from a few friends...
-
---
-Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA
-
-If you mail to original@looking.on.ca, it makes sure that your joke is tagged
-as your original work, and thus eligible for the RHF comedy awards. Always
-attribute the source of a joke, whether it's you, or somebody else.
-
-</pre>
+<div class="physics">
+<table>
+<caption>ACME PHYSICS SUPPLY SHOPPE</caption>
+<tr>
+<td colspan="2">Frictionless Surfaces</td>
+<td class="price">only $4.95 per square meter!</td>
+</tr><tr>
+<td colspan="2">Inextensible Massless Rope</td>
+<td class="price">only $1.99 per meter!</td>
+</tr><tr>
+<td colspan="2">Point Masses</td>
+<td class="price">only $1.39 per kilogram!</td>
+</tr><tr>
+<td colspan="2">Massless, Zero-Volume Paint
+<p>Perfect for labeling those
+pesky electrons so you can keep them straight!</p></td>
+<td class="c">*** SOLD OUT ***</td>
+</tr><tr>
+<td colspan="2">Frictionless Pulleys</td>
+<td class="price">only $2.00 ea.</td>
+</tr><tr>
+<td colspan="2">Massless Pulleys</td>
+<td class="price">only $4.49 ea.</td>
+</tr><tr >
+<td colspan="2">Frictionless, Massless Pulleys</td>
+<td class="price">regularly $10.00, now only $7.49!</td>
+</tr><tr>
+<td colspan="2">Ideal Springs</td>
+<td class="price">$.75 and up</td>
+</tr><tr>
+<td rowspan="3">Ideal Gas</td>
+<td>monatomic</td>
+<td class="price">$5.00 per liter *</td>
+</tr><tr>
+<td>diatomic</td>
+<td class="price">$7.50 per liter *</td>
+</tr><tr>
+<td>triatomic</td>
+<td class="price">$10.00 per liter *</td>
+</tr><tr>
+<td colspan="3" class="c">* plus deposit on container. All gases delivered at
STP.</td>
+</tr><tr>
+<td colspan="2">Magnetic Monopoles
+<p>Great Party Jokes!<br />
+ Thousands of Possibilities!<br />
+ Annoy that theoretician in your family!</p></td>
+<td class="price">$1.25 ea.</td>
+</tr><tr>
+<td colspan="2">Perfect Voltmeter</td>
+<td class="price">only $99.99</td>
+</tr><tr>
+<td colspan="2">Perfect Ammeter</td>
+<td class="price">only $159.99</td>
+</tr><tr>
+<td colspan="3" class="c">Special Sale:
+ Buy Ammeter, get Voltmeter for half price!</td>
+</tr><tr>
+<td colspan="2">700 W Perfect Refrigerator</td>
+<td class="price">only $899.99</td>
+</tr><tr>
+<td colspan="3" class="c">Zero-Resistance Wire<br />
+Various gauges available, inquire as to price and/or availability</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+</div>
-<p>
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a>
-in the GNU Humor Collection.</p>
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/physics.txt">Original
+email</a></p>
-<div class="infobox">
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4><p>The joke on this page was
-obtained from the FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email
-archives</a> of the GNU Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<p>Source (edited by Brad Templeton): <a
+href="https://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/91q3/perfectp.html";>
+rec.humor.funny</a> (1991)
+</p>
+</div>
</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -100,13 +126,13 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
@@ -114,10 +140,10 @@
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2014/08/12 05:04:10 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/power.users.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/power.users.html,v
retrieving revision 1.11
retrieving revision 1.12
diff -u -b -r1.11 -r1.12
--- jokes/power.users.html 12 Aug 2014 05:04:10 -0000 1.11
+++ jokes/power.users.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.12
@@ -1,192 +1,192 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.77 -->
-
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>Power Users - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
-
<!--#include virtual="/server/gnun/initial-translations-list.html" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#Documentation">Documentation</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
+<h2 class="c">The Power User's Guide To Power Users</h2>
-<h2>Power Users Guide</h2>
-
-<pre>
-From: Richard Murnane
-
-
- THE POWER USER'S GUIDE TO POWER USERS
+<address class="byline c">by Richard Murnane</address>
+<p>
Power Users never read their software manuals; instead they get
petty cash from their secretaries and use it to buy books which
-contain the phrase "Power User" on the cover. They then keep the
+contain the phrase “Power User” on the cover. They then keep the
receipt, to claim against tax.
-
+</p><p>
Software manufacturers write their manuals badly, and in computerese,
-in order to con Power Users into buying the manual ("XYZ for the
-Power User!") a second time. This extra revenue compensates the
+in order to con Power Users into buying the manual (“XYZ for the
+Power User!”) a second time. This extra revenue compensates the
manufacturers somewhat for all the people who pirate their software
and then buy Power User Guides to replace the manuals they never
-had...
-
-Power Users never read their "Power User's Guide to ..." books,
+had…
+</p><p>
+Power Users never read their “Power User's Guide to…” books,
for the same reason they didn't read the software manuals in the
first place. They do however skim the first two chapters, in which
-they make copious annotations (e.g. underlining phrases like "to get
-a directory listing, type 'DIR C: <enter>'. Note do not type the
-word '<enter>', or the quotes.")
-
+they make copious annotations (e.g. underlining phrases like “to get
+a directory listing, type
<kbd>‘DIR C: <enter>’</kbd>.
+Note: do not type the
+word ‘<enter>’, or the quotes.”)
+</p><p>
Power Users get their companies to buy them 130MHz 80586 PS/4s with
100MB RAM and 5-gigabyte optical drives, which they bring home:
+</p>
+<ul>
+ <li>to run Lotus 1-2-3G spreadsheets, producing PostScript graphs
+ of their mortgage repayments;</li>
- - to run Lotus 1-2-3G spreadsheets, producing PostScript graphs
- of their mortgage repayments;
-
- - to DTP stern memos forbidding their Real Programmers from using
+ <li>to DTP stern memos forbidding their Real Programmers from using
unregistered shareware and PD utilities at work. For this task,
they get their computer upgraded with a 4096x4096, 12 billion colour
hyper-VGA video display, and the memo employs a minimum of seven
different fonts, plus bolding and italics, with at least five
revisions to correct spelling errors, and to order the Cc: list
- in the most politically acceptable manner), and
-
- - to play pirate copies of Tetris and PC-Golf which they haven't
- realised are infected with a virus.
+ in the most politically acceptable manner), and</li>
+ <li>to play pirate copies of Tetris and PC-Golf which they haven't
+ realised are infected with a virus.</li>
+</ul>
+<p>
Power Users scold their children for referring to their machines as
-personal computers. "It's NOT a PC, Jimmy, it's my Professional
+personal computers. “It's NOT a PC, Jimmy, it's my Professional
Workstation, No Intergalactic Space Zombies for you tonight! Now, go
-to your room!"
-
+to your room!”
+</p><p>
Power Users get an identically equipped PC at work, so they can do
the work they would do at home, if only ten-year-old Jimmy would stop
playing Intergalactic Space Zombies for five consecutive minutes. The
money for this PC comes out of the Real Programmers' software tools
budget for the next three years.
-
+</p><p>
Having worked out their mortagage repayments for the next 100 years,
and having failed consistently to beat ten-year old Jimmy at
Intergalactic Space Zombies, Power Users never touch their computers
again; at work, they keep themselves occupied in meetings, so nobody
will see them staring blankly at their PC screen. Meanwhile, the Real
Programmers who work for them struggle by with aging IBM PCs (the
-originals ones, with a grudgingly-added Tallgrass disk drives -
-yuck!)
-
-Rather than read their "Real Users Guide to..." books, Power Users
-turn to their ten-year-old kids for technical advice ("yes, Jimmy,
-I understand that, but how do I get the directory on the _D_ drive?")
-
-Power Users get frustrated when they press the 'Print Screen' key and
+originals ones, with a grudgingly-added Tallgrass disk
+drives—yuck!)
+</p><p>
+Rather than read their “Real Users Guide to…” books, Power
Users
+turn to their ten-year-old kids for technical advice (“yes, Jimmy,
+I understand that, but how do I get the directory on the <em>D</em>
drive?”)
+</p><p>
+Power Users get frustrated when they press the “Print Screen” key
and
nothing happens: they thump it a dozen times before realising they've
left the printer off-line.
-
+</p><p>
Power Users sneak their children in outside office hours to work out
why their spreadsheet figures don't add up and the Chairman's end-of-
quarter report is due tomorrow.
-
+</p><p>
In a strange twist of human psychology, the ten-year-old children of
Power Users think that when they grow up, they'll become Real
Programmers and make shit loads of money writing a game better than
Intergalactic Space Zombies. (Sadly, they end up chugging out
accounting software for Power Users.)
-
+</p><p>
Power Users could master any PC application, if only they could figure
out how to start it ("Uhhhm, it must be on this menu somewhere..".)
-
+</p><p>
Power Users attend innumerable Power User courses, where they get a
set of loose-leaf binders of notes they never read (but whose titles
-in genuine imitation gold leaf look impressive beside the "Power
-User's Guide to..." books which now accumulate a thick layer of dust
+in genuine imitation gold leaf look impressive beside the “Power
+User's Guide to…” books which now accumulate a thick layer of dust
on the shelf). They also drink a lot, and commiserate with each other
how their Real Programmer subordinates are a bunch of overpaid,
long-haired layabouts who can't be coerced into wearing shirts and
ties, never mind a suit; and of course to swap Power Techniques like
how to format a 360k disk in a 1.2MB drive and thus get more than 360k
-of data onto it ("I'll have my secretary call IBM Technical Support
-about all the bad sector things I'm getting on this disk.")
-
+of data onto it (“I'll have my secretary call IBM Technical Support
+about all the bad sector things I'm getting on this disk.”)
+</p><p>
Power Users carry a pocket calculator for working out the cell values
-in their Lotus spreadsheets ("Um, I guess I didn't get to the section
-on formulas yet in my 'Power Users Guide to Lotus 1-2-3'".)
-
-Power Users think "Your computer is stoned" is part of the DOS copyright
+in their Lotus spreadsheets (“Um, I guess I didn't get to the section
+on formulas yet in my ‘Power Users Guide to Lotus 1-2-3’.”)
+</p><p>
+Power Users think “Your computer is stoned” is part of the DOS
copyright
banner.
-
+</p><p>
The ten-year-old children Power Users mischievously stick pieces of
cheese into every crevice of their parent's mouse, not realising that
this causes testicular problems later in life (for the MOUSE, twit!).
-
+</p><p>
Power Users don't think that last joke was funny.
-
+</p><p>
Power Users get their secretaries to call IBM Technical Support to fix
their defective mouse, because they're too embarassed to asked any of
their Real Programmer subordinates how to open it to remove the cheese.
-
+</p><p>
When nobody is looking, Power Users pretend their mouse is a toy car,
and race it around the desk.
-
+</p><p>
Power Users keep a large box of tissues on their desk to wipe the
saliva off the screen after playing Test Drive (BRRRRRM! BRRRRRM!)
-
+</p><p>
Power Users can't figure out how to make their modems stop auto-answering,
so they alway lunge on their phone when it rings in an effort to beat it.
They're never fast enough, and spend the first 30 seconds of the
conversation apologising, while the modem auto-ranges, and they
earnestly promise that they'll have their secretary call IBM Technical
Support to have the problem rectified.
-
+</p><p>
Power Users panic when they lose those dumb keyboard templates that
come with programs like Turd Perfect (which are too brain-dead to have
a decent user interface). They invariably mix up the templates when
switching between programs.
-
+</p><p>
Power Users have problems with Windows, when they have two or more
applications running, but room for only one keyboard template.
-
+</p><p>
Power Users buy those dumb mice that have a nearly full ASCII keyboard
-built-in to them ("Swiss Army Mouse (tm)").
-
+built into them (“Swiss Army Mouse ™”).
+</p><p>
Power Users believe computer salesmen.
-
+</p><p>
Power Users will buy ANY program that makes wild promises on the box
about increasing productivity. These boxes always look impressive on
-the bookshelf, beside the "Power User" books and course notes.
-
+the bookshelf, beside the “Power User” books and course notes.
+</p><p>
Power Users use MicroJerk ProjectMeister to schedule their wife's
pregnancy, and get confused when they can't work out how to assign
tasks and set milestones. They try to persuade the obstetrician to
induce labour when she's late.
-
+</p><p>
Power Users unreservedly believe their MicroJerk ProjectMeister when
it says the project will be complete at 5pm on the last Friday in
September next year, but eighteen months later, they won't believe the
-Real Programmer who says it'll be done "Real Soon Now (tm)".
-
+Real Programmer who says it'll be done “Real Soon Now ™.”
+</p><p>
Power Users believe the ads for 4GLs and Application Generator
packages, and think that in two weeks they'll be able to fire all
-their Real Programmers. (Ha ha ha... remember "The Last One"?)
-
-
---
-Selected by Brad Templeton. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA
-Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.
-
-Remember: PLEASE spell check and proofread your jokes. You think I have
-time to hand-correct everybody's postings?
-</pre>
+their Real Programmers. (Ha ha ha… remember “The Last One”?)
+</p>
-<p>
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a>
-in the GNU Humor Collection.</p>
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/power.users.txt">Original
+email</a></p>
-<div class="infobox">
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4><p>The joke on this page was
-obtained from the FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email
-archives</a> of the GNU Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<p>Source: <a
+href="https://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/91q3/poweruser.html";>
+rec.humor.funny</a> (1991)</p>
+</div>
</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -204,13 +204,13 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
@@ -218,10 +218,10 @@
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2014/08/12 05:04:10 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/purchase.agreement.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/purchase.agreement.html,v
retrieving revision 1.22
retrieving revision 1.23
diff -u -b -r1.22 -r1.23
--- jokes/purchase.agreement.html 4 Jun 2020 09:22:29 -0000 1.22
+++ jokes/purchase.agreement.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.23
@@ -1,23 +1,25 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.77 -->
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>Disclaimer
- GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
<!--#include virtual="/fun/jokes/po/purchase.agreement.translist" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>Disclaimer!</h2>
-<p><a href="/graphics/gleesons.html"><img src="/graphics/gleeson_head.jpg"
-alt=" [colorful rounded image of the Head of a GNU]" width="153" height="128"
style="float: right;"
-/></a></p>
-
-<hr />
-
-<pre>
-Disclaimer to be used when purchasing software:
-
-
- AGREEMENT AND LIMITED WARRANTY
+<p>Disclaimer to be used when purchasing software:</p>
+<h3 class="c">AGREEMENT AND LIMITED WARRANTY</h3>
+<p>
This check is fully warranted against physical defects and poor
workmanship in its stationery. If the check is physically damaged,
return it to me and I will replace or repair it at my discretion.
@@ -29,7 +31,7 @@
assured you of its worth, either verbally or in written
communication, we may have had our fingers crossed, so don't come
whimpering back to me if it bounces.
-
+</p><p>
The money, if any, represented by this instrument remains my
property. You are licensed to use it, however you are not allowed
to copy the original check except for your personal records, nor
@@ -37,7 +39,7 @@
may you allow any other person to use the money. Remember, you may
have it in your possession, but it still belongs to me, and I'm
going to call on you from time to time just to keep tabs on it.
-
+</p><p>
This agreement supersedes all others between us, including the
equally ridiculous one you have undoubtedly pasted on the back of
your packaging, or concealed somewhere in the middle of it. The
@@ -47,20 +49,22 @@
though yours may say that it supersedes mine. Why, even if yours
said it would supersede mine even if mine said it would supersede
yours even if yours said... Oh well. You get the idea.
-
+</p><p>
You may decline this agreement by returning the uncashed check to
me within twenty-four hours. If you attempt to cash it, however,
you have implicitly accepted these terms. You may also implicitly
accept these terms by:
+</p>
+<ol>
+<li>Calling my bank to inquire about the status of my account;</li>
-1) Calling my bank to inquire about the status of my account;
-
-2) Thanking me at the conclusion of our business transaction;
-
-3) Going to bed at the end of this or any other day; or
+<li>Thanking me at the conclusion of our business transaction;</li>
-4) Using any toilet or rest room.
+<li>Going to bed at the end of this or any other day; or</li>
+<li>Using any toilet or rest room.</li>
+</ol>
+<p>
Please be advised that I have adopted a strict rubber-glue policy.
Any nasty thing that your lawyers say bounces off of me and sticks
back to you. Be further advised that you agree to pay my legal
@@ -68,26 +72,27 @@
any other reason that might strike my fancy. Violations will be
punishable by fine, imprisonment, death, any two of the above, or
all three.
-
+</p><p>
Thank you and have a nice day!
+</p>
-</pre>
-
-<hr />
-
-<p><a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a> in the GNU Humor
-Collection.</p>
-
-<h3 id="license">Disclaimer</h3>
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/purchase.agreement.txt">Plain
+text version</a></p>
-<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the FSF's email archives
-of the GNU Project.</p>
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<p>Source: <a
+href="https://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/91q4/softcheq.html";>rec.humor.funny</a>.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyrights on this joke.</p>
+<hr />
+<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
+<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the FSF's email archives of the
+GNU Project. The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on it.</p>
+</div>
+</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -105,42 +110,24 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
-<!-- Regarding copyright, in general, standalone pages (as opposed to
- files generated as part of manuals) on the GNU web server should
- be under CC BY-ND 3.0 US. Please do NOT change or remove this
- without talking with the webmasters or licensing team first.
- Please make sure the copyright date is consistent with the
- document. For web pages, it is ok to list just the latest year the
- document was modified, or published.
-
- If you wish to list earlier years, that is ok too.
- Either "2001, 2002, 2003" or "2001-2003" are ok for specifying
- years, as long as each year in the range is in fact a copyrightable
- year, i.e., a year in which the document was published (including
- being publicly visible on the web or in a revision control system).
-
- There is more detail about copyright years in the GNU Maintainers
- Information document, www.gnu.org/prep/maintain. -->
-
-
<!--#include virtual="/server/bottom-notes.html" -->
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2020/06/04 09:22:29 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/quotations.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/quotations.html,v
retrieving revision 1.17
retrieving revision 1.18
diff -u -b -r1.17 -r1.18
--- jokes/quotations.html 12 Aug 2014 05:04:10 -0000 1.17
+++ jokes/quotations.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.18
@@ -1,272 +1,281 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.77 -->
-
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>Quotations - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
-
+<style type="text/css" media="print,screen"><!--
+blockquote.emph-box {
+ padding: 0 1em 1em;
+ background: white;
+ margin: 1.5em 0 0;
+}
+p.source { text-align: right; margin-top: .3em; }
+--></style>
<!--#include virtual="/server/gnun/initial-translations-list.html" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#Unclassified">Unclassified</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>Quotations</h2>
-<pre>
-"Britain is not an island...well, yes it is, but..."
-
- - Unidentified MP, on BBC Radio 4
- - from Mark Saxby (Reading, England)
-
-
-"The President continues to surprise people, so I am not surprised
-to be surprised."
-
- - US Secy of Defense Dick Cheney
- - from Mark Wiersbeck (Minneapolis, MN, USA)
-
-
-"President Bush is due to address the nation in approximately 20
-minutes precisely."
-
- - Peter Jennings, ABC News
- - from Roger Allen (Nashua, NH, USA)
-
-
-"Mobile launchers are more difficult to detect because they move
-around, unlike fixed launchers."
-
- - Katie Coucik, NBC News
- - from Lowell McCulley (Nashua, NH, USA)
-
-
-"Continuous coverage of the war in the Persian Gulf will resume in
-a moment."
-
- - Tom Brokaw, NBC News
- - from Jeff E. Nelson (Nashua, NH, USA)
-
-
-"We have good reason to believe he was stabbed. There was a sharp
-object sticking out of his chest".
-
- - Lt. R. Travis, Newburgh, NY, Police Dept,
- cited in National Lampoon calendar
- - from Jim Reisert (Hudson, MA, USA)
-
-
-"The City of Rochester (Michigan) is considering a ban on smoking
-at the park because people are leaving their butts on the beach."
-
- - Announcer, WJR Radio, Detroit, MI
- - from Jim Cotton (Novi, MI, USA)
-
-
-"Men between the ages of 18 and 25 must register for the draft on
-their 18th birthday."
-
- - Sign in a US Post Office
- - from Bruce Stadler (Dallas, TX, USA)
-
-
-"This door must not be opened under any circumstances."
-
- - Sign outside a fire exit in a hotel
- - from C. N. Kumar (Karnataka, India)
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“Britain is not an island… Well, yes it is, but…”<br
/>
+— Unidentified MP, on <cite>BBC Radio 4</cite>
+</p></blockquote>
+<p class="source"><small>[from Mark Saxby (Reading, England)]</small></p>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“The President continues to surprise people, so I am not surprised
+to be surprised.”<br />
+— US Secretary of Defense Dick Cheney
+</p></blockquote>
+<p class="source"><small>[from Mark Wiersbeck (Minneapolis, MN,
USA)]</small></p>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“President Bush is due to address the nation in approximately 20
+minutes precisely.”<br />
+— Peter Jennings, <cite>ABC News</cite>
+</p></blockquote>
+<p class="source"><small>[from Roger Allen (Nashua, NH, USA)]</small></p>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“Mobile launchers are more difficult to detect because they move
+around, unlike fixed launchers.”<br />
+— Katie Coucik, <cite>NBC News</cite>
+</p></blockquote>
+<p class="source"><small>[from Lowell McCulley (Nashua, NH, USA)]</small></p>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“Continuous coverage of the war in the Persian Gulf will resume in
+a moment.”<br />
+— Tom Brokaw, <cite>NBC News</cite>
+</p></blockquote>
+<p class="source"><small>[from Jeff E. Nelson (Nashua, NH, USA)]</small></p>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“We have good reason to believe he was stabbed. There was a sharp
+object sticking out of his chest.”<br />
+— Lt. R. Travis, Newburgh, NY, Police Dept,
+cited in <cite>National Lampoon calendar</cite>
+</p></blockquote>
+<p class="source"><small>[from Jim Reisert (Hudson, MA, USA)]</small></p>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“The City of Rochester (Michigan) is considering a ban on smoking
+at the park because people are leaving their butts on the beach.”<br />
+— Announcer, <cite>WJR Radio</cite>, Detroit, MI
+</p></blockquote>
+<p class="source"><small>[from Jim Cotton (Novi, MI, USA)]</small></p>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“Men between the ages of 18 and 25 must register for the draft on
+their 18th birthday.”<br />
+— Sign in a US Post Office
+</p></blockquote>
+<p class="source"><small>[from Bruce Stadler (Dallas, TX, USA)]</small></p>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“This door must not be opened under any circumstances.”<br />
+— Sign outside a fire exit in a hotel
+</p></blockquote>
+<p class="source"><small>[from C. N. Kumar (Karnataka, India)]</small></p>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“We have to expect it, otherwise we would be surprised.”<br />
+— Unidentified general officer, re: Gulf war
+</p></blockquote>
+<p class="source"><small>[from Thierry Ciot (Valbonne, France)]</small></p>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“Yo-Yo Ma and Bobby McFerrin together again for the first
time.”<br />
+— Ellen Kushner on "Caravan", <cite>WGBH radio</cite>, Boston
+</p></blockquote>
+<p class="source"><small>[from Roger Goun (Nashua, NH, USA)]</small></p>
-
-"We have to expect it, otherwise we would be surprised."
-
- - Unidentified general officer, re: Gulf war.
- - from Thierry Ciot (Valbonne, France)
-
-
-"Yo-Yo Ma and Bobby McFerrin together again for the first time."
-
- - Ellen Kushner on "Caravan", WGBH radio,
- Boston
- - from Roger Goun (Nashua, NH, USA)
-
-
-"It is mandatory that tenderers provide proof that the specified
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“It is mandatory that tenderers provide proof that the specified
performance requirements are likely to be achieved by the proposed
-system."
-
- - Request for Quotation from unidentified
- prospective client
- - from Kass Antanaitis (Canberra, Australia)
-
-
-"President Union will address the nation on the state of the Bush."
-
- _ Hampton Pearson, news reporter, WBZ TV
- - from Paul Poznick (Andover, MA, USA)
-
-
-"Although some functional managers had heard of RISC, virtually
-none had heard of RISC"
-
- - Digital Marketing Study
- - from Ken Berkun (Hong Kong)
-
-
-"Sir James Spicer...has officially opened a lavatory at the Piddle
-Valley First School near Dorchester."
-
- - VNS #2244 Main News, 23 Jan 90
- - from Dick Binder (Nashua, NH, USA)
-
-
-"Tensions in Latvia...are tense..."
-
- - WBZ Radio, Boston, 21 Jan 91, news
- - from Gunar Zagars (Andover, MA, USA)
-
-
-Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would
+system.”<br />
+— Request for Quotation from unidentified prospective client
+</p></blockquote>
+<p class="source"><small>[from Kass Antanaitis (Canberra,
Australia)]</small></p>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“President Union will address the nation on the state of the
Bush.”<br />
+— Hampton Pearson, news reporter, <cite>WBZ TV</cite>
+</p></blockquote>
+<p class="source"><small>[from Paul Poznick (Andover, MA, USA)]</small></p>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“Although some functional managers had heard of RISC, virtually
+none had heard of RISC”<br />
+— Digital Marketing Study
+</p></blockquote>
+<p class="source"><small>[from Ken Berkun (Hong Kong)]</small></p>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“Sir James Spicer… has officially opened a lavatory at the Piddle
+Valley First School near Dorchester.”<br />
+— <cite>VNS</cite> #2244 Main News, 23 Jan 90
+</p></blockquote>
+<p class="source"><small>[from Dick Binder (Nashua, NH, USA)]</small></p>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“Tensions in Latvia… are tense…”<br />
+— <cite>WBZ Radio</cite>, Boston, 21 Jan 91, news
+</p></blockquote>
+<p class="source"><small>[from Gunar Zagars (Andover, MA, USA)]</small></p>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+<i>Question:</i> If you could live forever, would you and why?<br />
+<i>Answer:</i> “I would
not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were
supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live
-forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
-
- -- Miss Alabama in the 1994
- -- Miss USA contest.
+forever, which is why I would not live forever.”<br />
+— Miss Alabama in the <cite>1994 Miss USA contest</cite>
+</p></blockquote>
-
-"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that,
-but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
-
- -- Mariah Carey
-
-
-"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
-your life."
- -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to
become
- -- Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking
campaign.
-
+but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”<br />
+— Mariah Carey
+</p></blockquote>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
+your life.”<br />
+— Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for
+federal anti-smoking campaign
+</p></blockquote>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my
body.”<br />
+— Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward
+</p></blockquote>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates
+in the country.”<br />
+— Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
+</p></blockquote>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers.
+We are the president.”<br />
+— Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents
+</p></blockquote>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass,
+and I'm just the one to do it.”<br />
+— A congressional candidate in Texas
+</p></blockquote>
-"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
-
- -- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky
basketball forward.
-
-
-"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates
-in the country,"
-
- -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
-
-
-"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers.
-We are the president."
-
- -- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release
- -- of subpoenaed documents.
-
-
-"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass,
-and I'm just the one to do it."
-
- -- A congressional candidate in Texas.
-
-
-"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them.
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them.
There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians
-were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."
-
- -- John Wayne
-
-
-"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
-
- -- Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
-
-
-"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities
-in our air and water that are doing it."
-
- -- Unknown. This has been attributed to:
- Al Gore, Vice President
- Dan Quayle, Vice President
- George W. Bush, Texas Governor
-
-
-"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
-
- -- Dan Quayle
-
-
-"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or
-another"
-
- -- George Bush, US President
-
-
-"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
-
- -- Lee Iacocca
+were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves.”<br />
+— John Wayne
+</p></blockquote>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“Half this game is ninety percent mental.”<br />
+— Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
+</p></blockquote>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities
+in our air and water that are doing it.”<br />
+— Unknown. This has been attributed to Vice President Al Gore,
+Vice President Dan Quayle, and Texas Governor George W. Bush.<br />
+</p></blockquote>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.”<br />
+— Dan Quayle
+</p></blockquote>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or
+another.”<br />
+— George Bush, US President
+</p></blockquote>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we
need?”<br />
+— Lee Iacocca
+</p></blockquote>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“I was provided with additional input that was radically different from
+the truth. I assisted in furthering that version.”<br />
+— Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony
+</p></blockquote>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
+Norman Einstein.”<br />
+— Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst
+</p></blockquote>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
+people.”<br />
+— Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor
+</p></blockquote>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.”<br />
+— Unknown. This has been attributed to Al Gore, Bill Clinton,
+George Bush (Sr. and Jr.), and Dan Quayle.
+</p></blockquote>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not
occur.”<br />
+— Al Gore, VP
+</p></blockquote>
+
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from
overseas.”<br />
+— Keppel Enderbery
+</p></blockquote>
-
-"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from
-the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
-
- -- Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra
testimony.
-
-
-"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
-Norman Einstein."
-
- -- Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &
sports analyst.
-
-
-"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
-people."
-
- -- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
-
-
-"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
-
- -- Unknown. This has been attributed to:
- Al Gore, Bill Clinton, George Bush
- (Sr. and Jr.), and Dan Quayle
-
-
-"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
-
- -- Al Gore, VP
-
-
-"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
-
- -- Keppel Enderbery
-
-
-"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we
received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply
-if there is a change in your circumstances."
-
- -- Department of Social Services, Greenville,
South Carolina
-
+if there is a change in your circumstances.”<br />
+— Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
+</p></blockquote>
-"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as
+<blockquote class="emph-box"><p>
+“If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as
they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night.
-And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
-
- -- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
-
-
-</pre>
-
-<p>
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a>
-in the GNU Humor Collection.</p>
-
-<div class="infobox">
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4><p>The joke on this page was
-obtained from the FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email
-archives</a> of the GNU Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record.”<br
/>
+— Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
+</p></blockquote>
+
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/quotations.txt">Original
+version</a></p>
+
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
+<p>This collection of quotations was obtained from the FSF's email archives
+of the GNU Project (1991). The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright
+on it.</p>
+</div>
</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -284,13 +293,13 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
@@ -298,10 +307,10 @@
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2014/08/12 05:04:10 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/rectium.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/rectium.html,v
retrieving revision 1.11
retrieving revision 1.12
diff -u -b -r1.11 -r1.12
--- jokes/rectium.html 12 Aug 2014 05:04:10 -0000 1.11
+++ jokes/rectium.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.12
@@ -1,55 +1,64 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.77 -->
-
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>Rectium? - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
-
<!--#include virtual="/server/gnun/initial-translations-list.html" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#TheFourthEstate">The Fourth Estate</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>Rectium?</h2>
-<pre>
-INTEL ANNOUNCES NEW PROCESSOR FOR TRULY PERSONAL COMPUTING
-1 April 1993
+<h3>Intel announces new processor for truly personal computing</h3>
+<p><i>1 April 1993</i></p>
+<p>
Intel Corp. today announced a new line of low-power high performance
-microprocessors for a entirely new concept in "personal" computing. The
-new processors, codenamed "Rectium", are designed to actually fit the
-appropriate body cavity for "Computing Anywhere, Anytime", according to
-Fred Burfl, Vice President for New Product Locations at Intel. "We
-figured that with our 'Intel Inside' advertising campaign, which has
-high consumer awareness, we couldn't lose!".
-
+microprocessors for a entirely new concept in “personal”
computing. The
+new processors, codenamed “Rectium,” are designed to actually fit
the
+appropriate body cavity for “Computing Anywhere, Anytime,”
according to
+Fred Burfl, Vice President for New Product Locations at Intel. “We
+figured that with our ‘Intel Inside’ advertising campaign, which
has
+high consumer awareness, we couldn't lose!”
+</p><p>
Within six months, a high-performance co-processor will also be made
available. Implemented in Gallium Arsenide technology, the co-processor
-is tentatively code-named "Rectium GaAs". A new high-speed communications
-bus based on a proprietary "Fast Aerodynamic Regional Transport" protocol
+is tentatively code-named “Rectium GaAs.” A new high-speed
communications
+bus based on a proprietary “Fast Aerodynamic Regional Transport”
protocol
will take performance to new heights.
-
+</p><p>
Intel officials suggest that the chips will be ideally suited for
back-end processing applications.
+</p>
-
+<p style="margin-top: 2em">
Reaction on Wall Street was mixed. PepsiCo (owner of the Taco Bell
restaurant chain) gained an eighth, to close at 82 7/8, after announcing
a strong commitment to the new GaAs technology. Ralston-Purina (maker
of Bean-o) fell an eighth, to 50 5/8.
-</pre>
+</p>
-<p>
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a>
-in the GNU Humor Collection.</p>
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/rectium.txt">Plain text
+version</a></p>
-<div class="infobox">
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4><p>The joke on this page was
-obtained from the FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email
-archives</a> of the GNU Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
+<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the FSF's email archives of the
+GNU Project. The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on it.</p>
+</div>
</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -67,13 +76,13 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
@@ -81,10 +90,10 @@
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2014/08/12 05:04:10 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/santa_comes_to_town.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/santa_comes_to_town.html,v
retrieving revision 1.12
retrieving revision 1.13
diff -u -b -r1.12 -r1.13
--- jokes/santa_comes_to_town.html 12 Aug 2014 05:04:11 -0000 1.12
+++ jokes/santa_comes_to_town.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.13
@@ -1,14 +1,24 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.77 -->
-
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>Santa Claus is Coming to town - GNU Project - Free Software
Foundation</title>
-
<!--#include virtual="/server/gnun/initial-translations-list.html" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#Software">Software</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>Santa Claus is coming to town</h2>
-<pre>
+<address class="byline">by Steve Wainstead</address>
+
+<pre class="emph-box">
#!/bin/santash
# Santa Claus is coming to town
@@ -32,24 +42,19 @@
for goodness_sake; do
be_good;
done
-
-Submitted by Steve Wainstead.
</pre>
-<p>
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a>
-in the GNU Humor Collection.</p>
-
-<div class="infobox">
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4><p>The joke on this page was
-obtained from the FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email
-archives</a> of the GNU Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
+<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the FSF's email archives of the
+GNU Project. The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on it.</p>
+</div>
</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -67,13 +72,13 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
@@ -81,10 +86,10 @@
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2014/08/12 05:04:11 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/science.facts.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/science.facts.html,v
retrieving revision 1.11
retrieving revision 1.12
diff -u -b -r1.11 -r1.12
--- jokes/science.facts.html 12 Aug 2014 05:04:11 -0000 1.11
+++ jokes/science.facts.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.12
@@ -1,153 +1,170 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.77 -->
-
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>Some Scientific Facts- GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
-
+<style type="text/css" media="print,screen"><!--
+ul.facts li { margin-top: 1em; }
+--></style>
<!--#include virtual="/server/gnun/initial-translations-list.html" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a
href="/fun/humor.html#ScienceAndEngineering">Science & Engineering</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>Some Scientific Facts</h2>
-<pre>
+<p>
The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays,
exams, and class room discussions; most were from fifth- and sixth-graders.
-They illustrate Mark Twain's contention that the "most interesting
-information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop."
-
-Question: What is one horsepower? Answer: One horsepower is the amount of
-energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.
+They illustrate Mark Twain's contention that the “most interesting
+information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then
stop.”
+</p>
+<ul class="facts">
+<li>
+<i>Question:</i> What is one horsepower?<br />
+<i>Answer:</i> One horsepower is the amount of
+energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.
+</li><li>
You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to
getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind.
-
+</li><li>
Talc is found in rocks and on babies.
-
+</li><li>
The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down.
-
+</li><li>
When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms.
But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.
-
+</li><li>
Clouds are high flying fogs.
-
+</li><li>
When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When
planets do it we say they are orbiting.
-
+</li><li>
Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand.
-
+</li><li>
While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is
really only centrificating.
-
+</li><li>
Some day we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction.
-
+</li><li>
South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage.
-
+</li><li>
Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back
into a sun in the daytime.
-
+</li><li>
Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180 degrees
between freezing and boiling because there are 180 degrees between north and
south.
-
+</li><li>
A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.
-
+</li><li>
There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered.
Finding them all means living forever.
-
+</li><li>
There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because of
so much population stomping around up there these days.
-
+</li><li>
Lime is a green-tasting rock.
-
+</li><li>
Many dead animals of the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be
oil.
-
+</li><li>
Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don't why you should.
-
+</li><li>
Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're
there.
-
+</li><li>
Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so
sometimes it's brother against brother.
-
+</li><li>
Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never
been able to make out the numbers.
-
+</li><li>
We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets
-blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.
-
+blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.
+</li><li>
To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions
-are things that are still all mixed up.
-
+are things that are still all mixed up.
+</li><li>
In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as
-many H's as O's.
-
+many H's as O's.
+</li><li>
I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that
is the important thing.
-
+</li><li>
Clouds just keep circling the Earth around and around. And around. There is not
-much else to do.
-
+much else to do.
+</li><li>
Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a
drop, it does.
-
-When there is fog, you might as well not mind looking at it.
-
+</li><li>
+When there is fog, you might as well not mind looking at it.
+</li><li>
Humidity is the experience of looking for air and finding water.
-
+</li><li>
We keep track of the humidity in the air so we won't drown when we breathe.
-
-In making rain water, it takes everything from H to O.
-
+</li><li>
+In making rain water, it takes everything from H to O.
+</li><li>
When rain water strikes forest fires, it heckstingwishes them. Luckily it
affects we of the humans unlike that.
-
+</li><li>
Rain is often spoken of as soft water, oppositely known as hail.
-
+</li><li>
Rain is saved up in cloud banks.
-
+</li><li>
In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes.
-
+</li><li>
Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog's tongue will kill the
strongest man.
-
+</li><li>
A blizzard is when it snows sideways.
-
+</li><li>
A hurricane is a breeze of a bigly size.
-
+</li><li>
A monsoon is a French gentleman.
-
-A thunderstorm is like a shower, only moreso.
-
+</li><li>
+A thunderstorm is like a shower, only more so.
+</li><li>
Thunder is a rich source of loudness.
-
+</li><li>
Isotherms and isobars are even more important that their names sound.
-
+</li><li>
It is so hot in some parts of the world that the people there have to live
other places.
-
+</li><li>
The wind is like the air, only pushier.
-
-Question: In what ways are we dependant on the sun? Answer: We can always
-depend on the sun for sunburn and tidal waves.
-
+</li><li>
+<i>Question:</i> In what ways are we dependant on the sun?<br />
+<i>Answer:</i> We can always depend on the sun for sunburn and tidal
+waves.
+</li><li>
Until it is decided whether tornadoes are typhoons or hurricanes, we must
continue to call them tornadoes.
-</pre>
+</li>
+</ul>
-<p>
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a>
-in the GNU Humor Collection.</p>
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/science.facts.txt">Plain
+text version</a></p>
-<div class="infobox">
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4><p>The joke on this page was
-obtained from the FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email
-archives</a> of the GNU Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
+<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the FSF's email archives of the
+GNU Project. The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on it.</p>
+</div>
</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -165,13 +182,13 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
@@ -179,10 +196,10 @@
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2014/08/12 05:04:11 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/smileys.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/smileys.html,v
retrieving revision 1.12
retrieving revision 1.13
diff -u -b -r1.12 -r1.13
--- jokes/smileys.html 12 Aug 2014 05:04:11 -0000 1.12
+++ jokes/smileys.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.13
@@ -1,85 +1,131 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.77 -->
-
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>Smileys - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
-
+<style type="text/css" media="print,screen"><!--
+table.smileys { width: 100%; padding: .7em; }
+table.smileys th { width: 4em; font-family: monospace; }
+--></style>
<!--#include virtual="/server/gnun/initial-translations-list.html" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#Unclassified">Unclassified</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>Smileys :-)</h2>
-<pre>
-From: Jeff Johnson
-
+<p class="infobox">
+From: Jeff Johnson<br />
+Subject: :-)<br />
+Date: Wed, 03 Jul 91 17:42:17 PDT</p>
+<p>
Those of you in the SF Bay Area may have noticed that Herb Caen has
discovered the little smileys that computer-people use in e-mail, and
has been both using them in his column and collecting interesting ones.
- Some ones I hadn't seen before (mixed with a few I made up):
+</p>
-:-D very happy
+<table class="smileys">
+<caption>Some ones I hadn't seen before (mixed with a few I made up):</caption>
+<tr><th>:-D</th><td>very happy</td></tr>
-:-{ very sad
+<tr><th>:-{</th><td>very sad</td></tr>
-:-I vexed
+<tr><th>:-I</th><td>vexed</td></tr>
-8-0 incredulous
+<tr><th>8-0</th><td>incredulous</td></tr>
-B-) Gary Larson glasses
+<tr><th>B-)</th><td>Gary Larson glasses</td></tr>
-S:-} Dudley Do-right
+<tr><th>S:-}</th><td>Dudley Do-right</td></tr>
-[:-) M.C. Hammer
+<tr><th>[:-)</th><td>M.C. Hammer</td></tr>
-7:-) Reagan
+<tr><th>7:-)</th><td>Reagan</td></tr>
-/:= Hitler
+<tr><th>/:=</th><td>Hitler</td></tr>
-%:*D Bozo
+<tr><th>%:*D</th><td>Bozo</td></tr>
-O:-) Jesus
+<tr><th>O:-)</th><td>Jesus</td></tr>
-}:-) The Devil
+<tr><th>}:-)</th><td>The Devil</td></tr>
+</table>
-And, if you turn them over:
+<table class="smileys">
+<caption>And, if you turn them over:</caption>
-(-:P Beaver Cleaver
+<tr><th>(-:P</th><td>Beaver Cleaver</td></tr>
-(-:]P Spike Lee
+<tr><th>(-:]P</th><td>Spike Lee</td></tr>
-(-:? Elvis
+<tr><th>(-:?</th><td>Elvis</td></tr>
-(-:C Viking
+<tr><th>(-:C</th><td>Viking</td></tr>
-(-:K My Favorite Martian
+<tr><th>(-:K</th><td>My Favorite Martian</td></tr>
-(-:E King Hussein
+<tr><th>(-:E</th><td>King Hussein</td></tr>
-(-:B Felix the Cat
+<tr><th>(-:B</th><td>Felix the Cat</td></tr>
+</table>
-Enough!
-JJ
-</pre>
+<table class="smileys">
+<caption>And here's some more from <a
+href="http://www.angelfire.com/biz/vanderjagtcomputers/X-Smiles.html";>
+Benjamin Vander Jagt</a>, using extended ascii:</caption>
-<p>You can find some extra smileys
-<a href="http://www.angelfire.com/biz/vanderjagtcomputers/X-Smiles.html";>
-here</a>, contributed by Benjamin Vander Jagt.
-(They have also been added to the <a href="smileys">text</a> version.)</p>
+<tr><th>:-Ã</th><td>raspberry 1</td></tr>
-<p>
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a>
-in the GNU Humor Collection.</p>
+<tr><th>:-þ</th><td>raspberry 2</td></tr>
+
+<tr><th>ò_ó</th><td>angry</td></tr>
+
+<tr><th>ó_ò</th><td>concerned</td></tr>
+
+<tr><th>ô_ô</th><td>somewhat surprised</td></tr>
+
+<tr><th>õ_õ</th><td>intrigued</td></tr>
-<div class="infobox">
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4><p>The joke on this page was
-obtained from the FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email
-archives</a> of the GNU Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+<tr><th>^_^</th><td>of course, there's this cute "happy"</td></tr>
+
+<tr><th>ñ_ñ</th><td>but then there's this much cuter "happy"</td></tr>
+
+<tr><th>Ã-)</th><td>on some character sets, this looks like a face wearing
+goggles</td></tr>
+
+<tr><th>ø_ø</th><td>Stoner McNullset</td></tr>
+
+<tr><th>ù_ú</th><td>Upset but holding it in</td></tr>
+
+<tr><th>ú_ù</th><td>Meditating, kissing, or various others</td></tr>
+
+<tr><th>ç_ç</th><td>Old person</td></tr>
+
+<tr><th>¦-õ</th><td>Yawn with eyes closed, holding a hand in front of his
+mouth; thanks Pchan</td></tr>
+</table>
+
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/smileys.txt">Original
+email</a></p>
+
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
+<p>These smileys were obtained from the FSF's email archives of the
+GNU Project. The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on them.</p>
+</div>
</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -97,13 +143,13 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
@@ -111,10 +157,10 @@
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2014/08/12 05:04:11 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/spilling-checker.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/spilling-checker.html,v
retrieving revision 1.11
retrieving revision 1.12
diff -u -b -r1.11 -r1.12
--- jokes/spilling-checker.html 12 Aug 2014 05:04:11 -0000 1.11
+++ jokes/spilling-checker.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.12
@@ -1,24 +1,39 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.77 -->
-
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>Spilling checker- GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
-
+<style type="text/css" media="print,screen"><!--
+--></style>
<!--#include virtual="/server/gnun/initial-translations-list.html" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a
href="/fun/humor.html#Dictionary">Dictionary & word play</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>Spilling checker</h2>
-<pre>
-The following is given without source in IEEE Transactions on Aerospace and
-Electronic Systems, Vol. 26, No. 2, March 1990-- p. 209. Who is the author?
+<p class="infobox">
+From: Dave Elliott<br />
+Subject: Who wrote this jape?<br />
+Date: 11 May 90 04:32:03 GMT</p>
- "Catching Misspilled Words with Spilling Checker
+<p>The following is given without source in <cite>IEEE Transactions on
Aerospace and
+Electronic Systems</cite>, Vol. 26, No. 2, March 1990—p. 209. Who is the
author?</p>
-"As an extra addled service, I am going to put this column in the Spilling
+<blockquote><div class="emph-box" style="background: none">
+<h3 class="c">Catching Misspilled Words with Spilling Checker</h3>
+
+<p>As an extra addled service, I am going to put this column in the Spilling
Checker, where I tryst it will sale through with flying colons. In this modern
ear, itis simply inexplicable to ask readers to expose themselves to misspelled
-swords when they have bitter things to do.
- "And with all the other timesaving features on my new work processor, it
+swords when they have bitter things to do.</p>
+<p>And with all the other timesaving features on my new work processor, it
is in realty very easy to pit together a colon like this one and get it tight.
For instants, if there is a work that is wrong, I just put the curse on it,
press Delete and its Well sometimes it deletes to the end of the lion or
@@ -27,31 +42,25 @@
somewhere else you jest put the curse at both ends and wash it disappear.
Where you want it to reappear simply bring four quarts of water to a rotting
boil and throw in 112 pounds of dazed chicken. Sometimes it brings in the Cat
-that was Pasted yesterday."
- "But usually it comes out as you planned, or better. And if it doesn't,
-there are lots of other easy to lose options... "
-----------
---
- David L. Elliott
- Dept. of SSM, Washington University
- St. Louis, MO 63130. (314)-889-6092
- FAX (314)-726-4434 delliott@CEC2.WUSTL.EDU
-</pre>
-
-<p>
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a>
-in the GNU Humor Collection.</p>
-
-<div class="infobox">
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4><p>The joke on this page was
-obtained from the FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email
-archives</a> of the GNU Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+that was Pasted yesterday.</p>
+<p>But usually it comes out as you planned, or better. And if it doesn't,
+there are lots of other easy to lose options…</p>
+</div></blockquote>
+
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/spilling-checker.txt">Plain
+text version</a></p>
+
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
+<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the FSF's email archives of the
+GNU Project. The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on it.</p>
+</div>
</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -69,13 +78,13 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
@@ -83,10 +92,10 @@
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2014/08/12 05:04:11 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/typoglycemia.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/typoglycemia.html,v
retrieving revision 1.6
retrieving revision 1.7
diff -u -b -r1.6 -r1.7
--- jokes/typoglycemia.html 12 Aug 2014 05:04:12 -0000 1.6
+++ jokes/typoglycemia.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.7
@@ -1,35 +1,44 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.77 -->
-
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>Typoglycemia - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
-
+<style type="text/css" media="print,screen"><!--
+--></style>
<!--#include virtual="/server/gnun/initial-translations-list.html" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a
href="/fun/humor.html#Dictionary">Dictionary & word play</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>Typoglycemia</h2>
<p>This text circulated on the internet in September 2003:</p>
-<pre>
-Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht
+<blockquote>
+<p class="emph-box" style="background: none">Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht
oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and
lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can
sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
-ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
-</pre>
+ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.</p>
+</blockquote>
-<p>
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a>
-in the GNU Humor Collection.</p>
-
-<div class="infobox">
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
+<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the FSF's email archives of the
+GNU Project. The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on it.</p>
+</div>
</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -47,13 +56,13 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
@@ -61,10 +70,10 @@
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2014/08/12 05:04:12 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/unix-hoax.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/unix-hoax.html,v
retrieving revision 1.12
retrieving revision 1.13
diff -u -b -r1.12 -r1.13
--- jokes/unix-hoax.html 12 Aug 2014 05:04:12 -0000 1.12
+++ jokes/unix-hoax.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.13
@@ -1,48 +1,78 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.77 -->
-
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>Unix-hoax - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
-
+<style type="text/css" media="print,screen"><!--
+.reduced-width { width: 50em; }
+#content h3 span { white-space: nowrap; }
+.vns { margin-top: 2em; }
+.vns p { margin-bottom: 0; }
+.vns address { float: right; padding-left: 1em; margin: 0 0 1em; }
+.vns + p { margin-top: 0; }
+@media (min-width: 40em) {
+ .vns { display: table; width: 100%; }
+ .vns p, .vns address { float: none; display: table-cell; }
+ .vns address { width: 18em; max-width: 90%; }
+}
+--></style>
<!--#include virtual="/server/gnun/initial-translations-list.html" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#TheFourthEstate">The Fourth Estate</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>Unix, a Hoax?</h2>
-<pre>
- T h e V O G O N N e w s S e r v i c e
-
-VNS TECHNOLOGY WATCH: [Mike Taylor, VNS
Correspondent]
-===================== [Littleton, MA, USA
]
-
-COMPUTERWORLD 1 April
-
- CREATORS ADMIT Unix, C HOAX
+<div class="emph-box" style="background: white">
+<h3 class="c">
+<span>T h e</span> <span>V O G O N</span> <span>N e w s</span>
+ <span>S e r v i c e</span>
+</h3>
+
+<div class="vns">
+<p>VNS TECHNOLOGY WATCH:</p>
+<address>Mike Taylor, VNS Correspondent<br />
+ Littleton, MA, USA</address>
+</div>
+<p class="clear">COMPUTERWORLD 1 April</p>
+<h4 class="c">Creators admit Unix, C hoax</h4>
+<p>
In an announcement that has stunned the computer industry, Ken Thompson,
Dennis Ritchie and Brian Kernighan admitted that the Unix operating
system and C programming language created by them is an elaborate April
Fools prank kept alive for over 20 years. Speaking at the recent
UnixWorld Software Development Forum, Thompson revealed the following:
-
- "In 1969, AT&&T had just terminated their work with the
+</p>
+<blockquote>
+<p>
+ “In 1969, AT&&T had just terminated their work with the
GE/Honeywell/AT&&T Multics project. Brian and I had just started
working with an early release of Pascal from Professor Nichlaus Wirth's
ETH
labs in Switzerland and we were impressed with its elegant simplicity and
- power. Dennis had just finished reading 'Bored of the Rings', a
- hilarious National Lampoon parody of the great Tolkien 'Lord of the
- Rings' trilogy. As a lark, we decided to do parodies of the Multics
+ power. Dennis had just finished reading <cite>Bored of the Rings</cite>, a
+ hilarious <cite>National Lampoon</cite> parody of the great Tolkien
<cite>Lord of the
+ Rings</cite> trilogy. As a lark, we decided to do parodies of the Multics
environment and Pascal. Dennis and I were responsible for the operating
environment. We looked at Multics and designed the new system to be as
complex and cryptic as possible to maximize casual users' frustration
levels, calling it Unix as a parody of Multics, as well as other more
risque allusions. Then Dennis and Brian worked on a truly warped
- version of Pascal, called 'A'. When we found others were actually
+ version of Pascal, called ‘A’. When we found others were
actually
trying to create real programs with A, we quickly added additional
cryptic features and evolved into B, BCPL and finally C. We stopped
when we got a clean compile on the following syntax:
-
- for(;P("\n"),R--;P("|"))for(e=C;e--;P("_"+(*u++/8)%2))P("| "+(*u/4)%2);
-
+</p>
+<pre class="emph-box">
+for(;P("\n"),R--;P("|"))for(e=C;e--;P("_"+(*u++/8)%2))P("| "+(*u/4)%2);
+</pre>
+<p>
To think that modern programmers would try to use a language that
allowed such a statement was beyond our comprehension! We actually
thought of selling this to the Soviets to set their computer science
@@ -54,8 +84,10 @@
general Unix and C programmer. In any event, Brian, Dennis and I have
been working exclusively in Pascal on the Apple Macintosh for the past
few years and feel really guilty about the chaos, confusion and truly
- bad programming that have resulted from our silly prank so long ago."
-
+ bad programming that have resulted from our silly prank so long ago.”
+</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>
Major Unix and C vendors and customers, including AT&&T, Microsoft,
Hewlett-Packard, GTE, NCR, and DEC have refused comment at this time.
Borland International, a leading vendor of Pascal and C tools,
@@ -64,34 +96,37 @@
their Pascal products and halt further efforts to develop C. An IBM
spokesman broke into uncontrolled laughter and had to postpone a
hastily convened news conference concerning the fate of the RS-6000,
- merely stating 'VM will be available Real Soon Now'. In a cryptic
+ merely stating “VM will be available Real Soon Now.” In a
cryptic
statement, Professor Wirth of the ETH institute and father of the
Pascal, Modula 2 and Oberon structured languages, merely stated that P.
T. Barnum was correct.
-
+</p><p>
In a related late-breaking story, usually reliable sources are stating
that a similar confession may be forthcoming from William Gates
concerning the MS-DOS and Windows operating environments. And IBM
spokesman have begun denying that the Virtual Machine (VM) product is
an internal prank gone awry.
- {COMPUTERWORLD 1 April}
+</p><p>
+ {COMPUTERWORLD 1 April}<br />
{contributed by Bernard L. Hayes}
-</pre>
+</p><p class="c">
+----------<br />VNS Edition : 2336 — Tuesday 4-Jun-1991</p>
+</div>
-<p>
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a>
-in the GNU Humor Collection.</p>
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/unix-hoax.txt">Plain
+text version</a></p>
-<div class="infobox">
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4><p>The joke on this page was
-obtained from the FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email
-archives</a> of the GNU Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
+<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the FSF's email archives of the
+GNU Project. The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on it.</p>
+</div>
</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -109,13 +144,13 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
@@ -123,10 +158,10 @@
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2014/08/12 05:04:12 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/users-lightbulb.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/users-lightbulb.html,v
retrieving revision 1.10
retrieving revision 1.11
diff -u -b -r1.10 -r1.11
--- jokes/users-lightbulb.html 24 Jul 2019 12:25:24 -0000 1.10
+++ jokes/users-lightbulb.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.11
@@ -1,11 +1,24 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.77 -->
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>How many GNU/Linux users are needed to change a light bulb?
- GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
<!--#include virtual="/fun/jokes/po/users-lightbulb.translist" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#Unclassified">Unclassified</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>How many GNU/Linux users are needed to change a light bulb?</h2>
+<address class="byline">by André Ferreira Machado</address>
+
<ul>
<li>1 to post a thread in a mailing list telling the bulb has
burnt.</li>
@@ -74,15 +87,11 @@
<li>The father of the first user, who while everyone was discussing,
went to the shop and bought the cheapest lightbulb.</li>
</ul>
-
-<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
-<p>The joke on this page was
-mailed to the FSF by its author Andre Machado.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -100,36 +109,19 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
-<!-- Regarding copyright, in general, standalone pages (as opposed to
- files generated as part of manuals) on the GNU web server should
- be under CC BY-ND 4.0. Please do NOT change or remove this
- without talking with the webmasters or licensing team first.
- Please make sure the copyright date is consistent with the
- document. For web pages, it is ok to list just the latest year the
- document was modified, or published.
-
- If you wish to list earlier years, that is ok too.
- Either "2001, 2002, 2003" or "2001-2003" are ok for specifying
- years, as long as each year in the range is in fact a copyrightable
- year, i.e., a year in which the document was published (including
- being publicly visible on the web or in a revision control system).
+<p>Copyright © 2013 Andre Machado</p>
- There is more detail about copyright years in the GNU Maintainers
- Information document, www.gnu.org/prep/maintain. -->
-
-<p>Copyright © 2014 Andre Machado</p>
-
-<p>This page is licensed under a <a rel="license"
+<p>The joke on this page is licensed under the <a rel="license"
href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/4.0/";>Creative
Commons Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License</a>.</p>
@@ -137,10 +129,10 @@
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2019/07/24 12:25:24 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: jokes/wolf-logo.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/jokes/wolf-logo.html,v
retrieving revision 1.11
retrieving revision 1.12
diff -u -b -r1.11 -r1.12
--- jokes/wolf-logo.html 12 Aug 2014 05:04:13 -0000 1.11
+++ jokes/wolf-logo.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.12
@@ -1,67 +1,83 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.77 -->
-
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<style type="text/css" media="print,screen"><!--
+ol.alpha li{list-style-type: lower-alpha; }
+--></style>
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>The Wolf Logo - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
-
<!--#include virtual="/server/gnun/initial-translations-list.html" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#Unclassified">Unclassified</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>The Wolf Logo</h2>
-<pre>
-Peter da Silva decides:
+<p>Peter da Silva decides:</p>
+<div>
+<p style="display: inline-block">I hereby place the wolf logo</p>
+<pre style="display: inline-block; vertical-align: middle;">
+ (`-_-')
+ 'U`
+</pre>
+<p style="display: inline-block">and derivatives into the public domain.</p>
+</div>
-|I hereby place the wolf logo (`-_-') and derivitives into the public domain.
-| 'U`
-
-I predict:
-
-a) A large corporation will scarf it up, repackage it and sell it
+<p>I predict:</p>
+<ol class="alpha">
+<li>A large corporation will scarf it up, repackage it and sell it
for a tidy sum, threatening to loose the SS on Peter if he uses
- it again.
+ it again.</li>
-b) The FSF will begin work at once on a version for the gnu project
+<li>The FSF will begin work at once on a version for the GNU Project.</li>
-c) Microsoft, Apple and Lotus will claim it is too close to their
+<li>Microsoft, Apple and Lotus will claim it is too close to their
trademarked logos, and file a joint suit against hackercorp,
- the DoD, Electronic Arts, and Iraq.
+ the DoD, Electronic Arts, and Iraq.</li>
-d) Thousands of hours will be spent debating, over the net, whether
+<li>Thousands of hours will be spent debating, over the net, whether
this is (1) constitutional, (2) moral, (3) fattening, (4) the
- end of the net as we know it[1], and (5) a good reason to not allow
- logos to be trademarked at all.
-
-e) Someone will suggest the only legitimate way of making money off
- of logos is by servicing them - but logo refurbishing companies
- will not spring up overnight.
-
-f) Peter will turn down an interview with Oprah, but accept the one
- with Geraldo, if he gets to keep an extra chair handy.
+ end of the net as we know it[<a href="#ft1">1</a>], and (5) a good reason
to not allow
+ logos to be trademarked at all.</li>
+<li>Someone will suggest the only legitimate way of making money off
+ of logos is by servicing them—but logo refurbishing companies
+ will not spring up overnight.</li>
+
+<li>Peter will turn down an interview with Oprah, but accept the one
+ with Geraldo, if he gets to keep an extra chair handy.</li>
+</ol>
+<pre>
\ /
---=*miles*=---
-
-NOTES
+</pre>
+<h3 class="footnote">Note</h3>
+<p id="ft1">
[1] Not less than 4, and not more than 12, new groups will be created
as a direct result of this.
+</p>
-</pre>
+<p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/wolf-logo.txt">Plain
+text version</a></p>
-<p>
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a>
-in the GNU Humor Collection.</p>
-
-<div class="infobox">
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4><p>The joke on this page was
-obtained from the FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email
-archives</a> of the GNU Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
+<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the FSF's email archives of the
+GNU Project (1990). The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on it.</p>
+</div>
</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -79,13 +95,13 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
@@ -93,10 +109,10 @@
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2014/08/12 05:04:13 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: spam/sheep.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/spam/sheep.html,v
retrieving revision 1.12
retrieving revision 1.13
diff -u -b -r1.12 -r1.13
--- spam/sheep.html 12 Aug 2014 05:04:14 -0000 1.12
+++ spam/sheep.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.13
@@ -1,49 +1,47 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.77 -->
-
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>Inflatable Sheep - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation</title>
-
<!--#include virtual="/server/gnun/initial-translations-list.html" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#Spam">Spam</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>Inflatable Sheep</h2>
-<p style="font-style: italic;">
+<p><i>
The following spam was sent to the webmasters queue.
-</p>
+</i></p>
-<pre>
-From: "John Llamas"
-To: webmasters
-Subject: I am seeking a reputable vendor of inflatable sheep ...
+<p class="infobox">
+From: “John Llamas”<br />
+To: webmasters<br />
+Subject: I am seeking a reputable vendor of inflatable sheep…<br />
Date: Sun, 24 Aug 2003 23:50:02 -0700
-
+</p><p>
Hello
-
+</p><p>
I am a 'generously proportioned' male (375 pounds) with a less
than generous penile length (4 inches erect). I seek a vendor of
quality inflatable sheep who can give away free samples as I am
unemployed.
-
+</p><p>
Best regards
-
+</p><p>
John Llamas
-</pre>
-
-<p>
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a>
-in the GNU Humor Collection.</p>
-
-<div class="infobox">
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4><p>The joke on this page was
-obtained from the FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email
-archives</a> of the GNU Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+</p>
</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -61,13 +59,13 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
Please see the <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations
of this article.</p>
</div>
@@ -75,10 +73,10 @@
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2014/08/12 05:04:14 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
Index: spam/warpgenerator.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /webcvs/www/www/fun/spam/warpgenerator.html,v
retrieving revision 1.10
retrieving revision 1.11
diff -u -b -r1.10 -r1.11
--- spam/warpgenerator.html 12 Aug 2014 05:04:14 -0000 1.10
+++ spam/warpgenerator.html 15 Jul 2021 15:38:14 -0000 1.11
@@ -1,60 +1,104 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-<!-- Parent-Version: 1.77 -->
-
+<!-- Parent-Version: 1.96 -->
+<!-- This page is derived from /server/standards/boilerplate.html -->
+<!--#set var="DISABLE_TOP_ADDENDUM" value="yes" -->
<title>Dimensional Warp Generator Needed - GNU Project - Free Software
Foundation</title>
-
<!--#include virtual="/server/gnun/initial-translations-list.html" -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-
+<div class="breadcrumb" role="navigation">
+ <a href="/"><img src="/graphics/icons/home.png" height="26" width="26"
+ alt="GNU Home" title="GNU Home" /></a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#content">GNU humor</a> /
+ <a href="/fun/humor.html#Spam">Spam</a> /
+</div>
+<!--GNUN: OUT-OF-DATE NOTICE-->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/top-addendum.html" -->
+<div class="reduced-width">
<h2>Dimensional Warp Generator Needed</h2>
-<pre>
-From: Brian Appel
-Subject: Dimensional Warp Generator Needed toqsktrjfyvu nuzfkc
-Date: Fri, 29 Aug 03 14:09:21 GMT
-
-Hello,
-
+<p class="infobox">
+From: "" <dp@arcor.de><br />
+To: <gceder@mit.edu>, <tiger@mit.edu>, <chris2@mit.edu>,
<tikkun@mit.edu>,
+<act@mit.edu>, <action@mit.edu>, <chrisb@mit.edu>,
<basch@mit.edu><
+Subject: Dimensional Warp Generator Needed toqsktrjfyvu nuzfkc<br />
+Date: Fri, 29 Aug 03 14:09:21 GMT<br />
+X-Spam-Status: Yes, hits=13.6 required=5.0<br />
+tests=DATE_IN_FUTURE_03_06,FORGED_MUA_THEBAT,MISSING_MIMEOLE,<br />
+MISSING_OUTLOOK_NAME,NO_REAL_NAME,RCVD_IN_DSBL,<br />
+RCVD_IN_NJABL,RCVD_IN_RFCI,RCVD_IN_UNCONFIRMED_DSBL,<br />
+X_PRIORITY_HIGH<br />
+version=2.55<br />
+X-Spam-Level: *************<br />
+X-Spam-Checker-Version: SpamAssassin 2.55 (1.174.2.19-2003-05-19-exp)<br />
+X-Spam-Report: ---- Start SpamAssassin results<br />
+13.60 points, 5 required;<br />
+* 0.8 -- From: does not include a real name<br />
+* 1.9 -- Sent with 'X-Priority' set to high<br />
+* 0.9 -- Date: is 3 to 6 hours after Received: date<br />
+* 0.9 -- RBL: Received via a relay in dnsbl.njabl.org<br />
+[RBL check: found 171.181.48.68.dnsbl.njabl.org.,]<br />
+[type: 127.0.0.9]<br />
+* 1.4 -- RBL: Received via a relay in ipwhois.rfc-ignorant.org<br />
+[RBL check: found 171.181.48.68.ipwhois.rfc-ignorant.org., type: 127.0.0.6]<br
/>
+* 0.5 -- RBL: Received via a relay in unconfirmed.dsbl.org<br />
+[RBL check: found 83.21.7.18.unconfirmed.dsbl.org.]<br />
+* 2.6 -- RBL: Received via a relay in list.dsbl.org<br />
+[RBL check: found 171.181.48.68.list.dsbl.org.]<br />
+* 3.5 -- Forged mail pretending to be from The Bat!<br />
+* 0.5 -- Message has X-MSMail-Priority, but no X-MimeOLE<br />
+* 0.6 -- Message looks like Outlook, but isn't<br />
+---- End of SpamAssassin results<br />
+X-Spam-Flag: YES<br /><br />
+This is a multi-part message in MIME format.<br /><br />
+--FB4DD63_8F0<br />
+Content-Type: text/plain<br />
+Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
+</p><p>
+<br />Hello,
+</p><p>
I'm a time traveler stuck here in 2003.
-
-Upon arriving here my dimensional warp generator stopped working. I truste=
-d a company here by the name of LLC Lasers to repair my Generation 3 52 43=
-50A watch unit, and they fled on me.
-
-Since nobody in this timeline seems to be able to deliver what I need (saf=
-ely here to me), I will have to build a simple time travel circuit to get =
-where I need myself. While it might be hard to find parts in this time to =
-build anything decent, I need easy to follow schematics from the future to=
- build one which is safe and accurate that will not disrupt the time space=
- continuum with both forward and backward capability accounting for tempor=
-al location settings (X, Y, Z, n), which can be built out of (readily avai=
-lable) parts here in 2003. Please email me any plans you have. I will pay =
-good money for anything you send me I can use. Or if you have a dimensiona=
-l warp generator available, and are 100% certain you have a (safe secure) =
-means of delivering it to me please also reply with a secure way to contac=
-t you. Send a separate email to me at: webmaster@custompaintshop.net
-
-Do not reply back directly to this email as it will only be bounced back t=
-o you.
-
-Thank You
+</p><p>
+Upon arriving here my dimensional warp generator stopped working. I trusted
+a company here by the name of LLC Lasers to repair my Generation 3 52 43 50A
+watch unit, and they fled on me.
+</p><p>
+Since nobody in this timeline seems to be able to deliver what I need
+(safely here to me), I will have to build a simple time travel circuit to get
+where I need myself. While it might be hard to find parts in this time to
+build anything decent, I need easy to follow schematics from the future to
+build one which is safe and accurate that will not disrupt the time space
+continuum with both forward and backward capability accounting for temporal
+location settings (X, Y, Z, n), which can be built out of (readily available)
+parts here in 2003. Please email me any plans you have. I will pay
+good money for anything you send me I can use. Or if you have a dimensional
+warp generator available, and are 100% certain you have a (safe secure)
+means of delivering it to me please also reply with a secure way to contact
+you. Send a separate email to me at: webmaster@custompaintshop.net
+</p><p>
+Do not reply back directly to this email as it will only be bounced back to
+you.
+</p><p>
+Thank You<br />
Brian Appel
-</pre>
-
-<p>
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a>
-in the GNU Humor Collection.</p>
-
-<div class="infobox">
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4><p>The joke on this page was
-obtained from the FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email
-archives</a> of the GNU Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
+</p>
+<p class="infobox"><br />
+rocket<br />
+ebo xdevzocgm zxakgtotviyggbggbgwfm vxaznlcb o<br />
+--FB4DD63_8F0--</p>
+
+<!-- RT #86015 -->
+<div class="infobox" role="contentinfo">
+<hr />
+<h3 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h3>
+<p>The joke on this page was submitted to <webmasters@gnu.org> (via
+RMS) by Brian Appel in 2003. The Free Software Foundation claims no
+copyright on it.</p>
+</div>
</div>
</div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above -->
<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
-<div id="footer">
+<div id="footer" role="contentinfo">
<div class="unprintable">
<p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to
@@ -72,24 +116,25 @@
to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org";>
<web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p>
- <p>For information on coordinating and submitting translations of
+ <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of
our web pages, see <a
href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
README</a>. -->
-Please see the <a
-href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
-of this article.</p>
+Please see the
+<a href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing
+translations of this article.
+</p>
</div>
<!--#include virtual="/server/bottom-notes.html" -->
<p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2014/08/12 05:04:14 $
+$Date: 2021/07/15 15:38:14 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
-</div>
+</div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include -->
</body>
</html>
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