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www/fun humor.html jokes/more-shit.html jokes/m...
From: |
John Sullivan |
Subject: |
www/fun humor.html jokes/more-shit.html jokes/m... |
Date: |
Tue, 25 Mar 2014 22:22:12 +0000 |
CVSROOT: /web/www
Module name: www
Changes by: John Sullivan <johnsu01> 14/03/25 22:22:12
Modified files:
fun : humor.html
Removed files:
fun/jokes : more-shit.html more-shit.txt religions.html
religions.txt shit-happens.html
shit-happens.txt
Log message:
Remove.
CVSWeb URLs:
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/humor.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.80&r2=1.81
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/more-shit.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.11&r2=0
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/more-shit.txt?cvsroot=www&r1=1.1&r2=0
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/religions.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.11&r2=0
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/religions.txt?cvsroot=www&r1=1.1&r2=0
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/shit-happens.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.21&r2=0
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/shit-happens.txt?cvsroot=www&r1=1.1&r2=0
Patches:
Index: humor.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /web/www/www/fun/humor.html,v
retrieving revision 1.80
retrieving revision 1.81
diff -u -b -r1.80 -r1.81
--- humor.html 14 Mar 2014 04:04:42 -0000 1.80
+++ humor.html 25 Mar 2014 22:22:10 -0000 1.81
@@ -257,13 +257,6 @@
<li><a href="/fun/jokes/quotations.html">Quotations</a></li>
-<li><a href="/fun/jokes/shit-happens.html">“Shit
-Happens!”</a> as expressed by the religions of the world</li>
-
-<li><a href="/fun/jokes/more-shit.html">More Shit</a></li>
-
-<li><a href="/fun/jokes/religions.html">Shit Happens Contd</a></li>
-
<li><a href="/fun/jokes/smileys.html">Smileys :-)</a></li>
<li><a href="/fun/jokes/spilling-checker.html">Spilling Checker</a></li>
@@ -375,7 +368,7 @@
<p></p><p class="unprintable">Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2014/03/14 04:04:42 $
+$Date: 2014/03/25 22:22:10 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
Index: jokes/more-shit.html
===================================================================
RCS file: jokes/more-shit.html
diff -N jokes/more-shit.html
--- jokes/more-shit.html 9 Feb 2013 06:09:50 -0000 1.11
+++ /dev/null 1 Jan 1970 00:00:00 -0000
@@ -1,200 +0,0 @@
-<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-
-<title>More Shit! - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation (FSF)</title>
-
-<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-
-<h2>More Shit!</h2>
-
-<pre>
-Have YOU ever wondered just WHY shit happens to you? Well,
-you're not alone. People have wondered about this fundamental
-question for many ages, and everyone seems to have a different
-theory. So, for your reading enjoyment, we have here a massive
-collection of various ways in which people have tried to
-explain why shit happens:
-
-==============================================================================
-
- SHIT HAPPENS
-
- in various world religions
- --------------------------
-
-Taoism: Shit happens.
- If you can shit, it isn't shit.
- Shit happens, so flow with it.
-
-Hare Krishna: Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding.
- She-it happens, She-it happens, happens, happens,
- she-it, she-it... (Repeat until you become one with she-it)
- Please this flower and buy our shit.
-
-Confucianism: Confucious say, "Shit happens".
- Confucious says, "If shit has to happen, let it happen
- PROPERLY."
-
-Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
- If shit happens, it isn't really happening TO anyone.
- Shit will happen again to you next time.
- Only he who totally gives up the desire for shit will
- have salvation.
-
-Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
- First, shit was shit.
- Then it wasn't.
- Now I'm one with Zen, and shit is shit again.
-
-7th Day Adventism:
- Shit happens on Saturdays.
-
-Hinduism: I've seen this shit happening before.
- This shit is not a religion, it is the way of life.
- This shit happening IS you.
- Same shit, different day.
-
-Agnosticism: No shit?
-
-Atheism: No shit!
-
-Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else!
- If shit happens, praise the lord for it.
-
-Presbyterianism:
- This shit was bound to happen.
-
-Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
-
-Episcopalianism:
- If shit happens, hold a procession.
- It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve
- the right wine with it.
-
-Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve
- grape juice with it
-
-Lutheranism: Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK.
- Have faith that shit will happen.
- If shit happens, don't talk about it.
-
-Anglicanism: It's true, shit does happen -- but only to Lutherans.
-
-Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
- Be silent and wait for shit to happen, friend.
-
-Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserved it.
- You were born shit, you are shit, and you will die
- shit.
-
-Charismatic Catholicism:
- Shit is happening because you deserve it, but we love
- you anyway.
-
-Judaism: Why does shit always happen just before closing the
- deal?
-
-Conservative Judaism:
- Why does shit always happen to US?
-
-Reform Judaism: Got any laxatives?
- Shit happens to whom it may concern.
-
-Orthodox Judaism:
- So shit happens, already!
-
-Islam: We don't take any shit.
-
-Sunni Islam: If it happens to be shit, it's Allah's will and you'd
- better submit!
- Shiite happens.
-
-Shi'ite Islam: WE WILL DESTROY YOUR SHIT!
- If shit happens, take a hostage.
-
-Nation of Islam:
- Don't take no shit!
-
-Bahaism: Why do you keep shitting on us?
- Shit happens universally.
- All shit is truly shit.
-
-New Age: That's not shit, it's feldspar.
- Shit happens, and it happens to smell good.
- This isn't shit if I really believe it's chocolate.
- I create my own shit.
- Visualize shit happening...
-
-Wicca: If shit happened once, it will happen twice more.
- The Goddess makes shit happen.
- An it harm none, let shit happen.
-
-Jehovah's Witness
-</pre>
-
-<p>
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a>
-in the GNU Humor Collection.</p>
-
-<div class="infobox">
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4><p>The joke on this page was
-obtained from the FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/">email
-archives</a> of the GNU Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
-</div>
-
-</div>
-
-<!--#include virtual="/server/footer-min.html" -->
-
-<div id="footer">
-<p>
-Please send FSF & GNU inquiries to
-<a href="mailto:address@hidden"><em>address@hidden</em></a>. There are
-also <a href="http://www.fsf.org/about/contact.html">other ways to
-contact</a> the FSF.
-<br />
-Please send broken links and other corrections (or suggestions) to
-<a href="mailto:address@hidden"><em>address@hidden</em></a>.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Please see the
-<a href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting
-translations of this article.
-</p>
-
-<!--#include virtual="/server/bottom-notes.html" -->
-
-<p>Updated:
-<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2013/02/09 06:09:50 $
-<!-- timestamp end -->
-</p>
-</div>
-
-<div id="translations">
-<h4>Translations of this page</h4>
-
- <!-- Please keep this list alphabetical, and in the original -->
- <!-- language if possible, otherwise default to English -->
- <!-- If you do not have it English, please comment what the -->
- <!-- English is. If you add a new language here, please -->
- <!-- advise address@hidden and add it to -->
- <!-- - in /home/www/bin/nightly-vars either TAGSLANG or WEBLANG -->
- <!-- - in /home/www/html/server/standards/README.translations.html -->
- <!-- one of the lists under the section "Translations Underway" -->
- <!-- - if there is a translation team, you also have to add an alias -->
- <!-- to mail.gnu.org:/com/mailer/aliases -->
- <!-- Please also check you have the 2 letter language code right versus -->
- <!-- http://www.w3.org/WAI/ER/IG/ert/iso639.htm -->
-
-<ul class="translations-list">
-<!-- English -->
-<li><a href="/fun/jokes/more-shit.html">English</a> [en]</li>
-</ul>
-
-</div>
-</div>
-</body>
-</html>
Index: jokes/more-shit.txt
===================================================================
RCS file: jokes/more-shit.txt
diff -N jokes/more-shit.txt
--- jokes/more-shit.txt 23 Dec 2011 05:24:03 -0000 1.1
+++ /dev/null 1 Jan 1970 00:00:00 -0000
@@ -1,157 +0,0 @@
-Date: Fri, 28 Mar 1997 20:10:03 -0800
-From: address@hidden (Paul Rubin)
-To: address@hidden
-Subject: OLD JOKE: Shit Happens... (shouldn't there be more on Scientology?)
(fwd)
-Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
-In-Reply-To: <address@hidden>
-Organization: Netcom On-Line Services
-
-Most of this is not very good shit, but it's the most extensive
-heap I've seen so far... -phr
-
-------- start of forwarded message -------
-Path:
ix.netcom.com!newsfeeds.sol.net!nntp.uio.no!uninett.no!online.no!not-for-mail
-From: address@hidden (Andreas Heldal-Lund)
-Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
-Subject: OLD JOKE: Shit Happens... (shouldn't there be more on Scientology?)
-Date: Sat, 29 Mar 1997 02:59:03 GMT
-Organization: Operation Clambake
-Lines: 1011
-Message-ID: <address@hidden>
-NNTP-Posting-Host: stavanger960.online.no
-X-Newsreader: Forte Free Agent 1.1/32.230
-
-CANONICAL: Shit Happens...
-
-
-
-Summary: Shit Happens
-Keywords: shit happens religion canonical rama-rama
-
-
-Send additions, corrections, etc. to address@hidden
-Send flames, insults, death threats, etc. to /dev/null
-This list includes the creative contributions of many members of
-the Usenet community. Their contributions are gratefully
-acknowledged.
-Version 1.25
-
-
-Have YOU ever wondered just WHY shit happens to you? Well,
-you're not alone. People have wondered about this fundamental
-question for many ages, and everyone seems to have a different
-theory. So, for your reading enjoyment, we have here a massive
-collection of various ways in which people have tried to
-explain why shit happens:
-
-==============================================================================
-
- SHIT HAPPENS
-
- in various world religions
- --------------------------
-
-Taoism: Shit happens.
- If you can shit, it isn't shit.
- Shit happens, so flow with it.
-
-Hare Krishna: Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding.
- She-it happens, She-it happens, happens, happens,
- she-it, she-it... (Repeat until you become one with
-she-it)
- Please this flower and buy our shit.
-
-Confucianism: Confucious say, "Shit happens".
- Confucious says, "If shit has to happen, let it happen
- PROPERLY."
-
-Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
- If shit happens, it isn't really happening TO anyone.
- Shit will happen again to you next time.
- Only he who totally gives up the desire for shit will
- have salvation.
-
-Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
- First, shit was shit.
- Then it wasn't.
- Now I'm one with Zen, and shit is shit again.
-
-7th Day Adventism:
- Shit happens on Saturdays.
-
-Hinduism: I've seen this shit happening before.
- This shit is not a religion, it is the way of life.
- This shit happening IS you.
-
-Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else!
- If shit happens, praise the lord for it.
-
-Presbyterianism:
- This shit was bound to happen.
-
-Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
-
-Episcopalianism:
- If shit happens, hold a procession.
- It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve
- the right wine with it.
-
-Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve
- grape juice with it
-
-Lutheranism: Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK.
- Have faith that shit will happen.
- If shit happens, don't talk about it.
-
-Anglicanism: It's true, shit does happen -- but only to Lutherans.
-
-Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
- Be silent and wait for shit to happen, friend.
-
-Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserved it.
- You were born shit, you are shit, and you will die
- shit.
-
-Charismatic Catholicism:
- Shit is happening because you deserve it, but we love
- you anyway.
-
-Judaism: Why does shit always happen just before closing the
- deal?
-
-Conservative Judaism:
- Why does shit always happen to US?
-
-Reform Judaism: Got any laxatives?
- Shit happens to whom it may concern.
-
-Orthodox Judaism:
- So shit happens, already!
-
-Islam: We don't take any shit.
-
-Sunni Islam: If it happens to be shit, it's Allah's will and you'd
- better submit!
- Shiite happens.
-
-Shi'ite Islam: WE WILL DESTROY YOUR SHIT!
- If shit happens, take a hostage.
-
-Nation of Islam:
- Don't take no shit!
-
-Bahaism: Why do you keep shitting on us?
- Shit happens universally.
- All shit is truly shit.
-
-New Age: That's not shit, it's feldspar.
- Shit happens, and it happens to smell good.
- This isn't shit if I really believe it's chocolate.
- I create my own shit.
- Visualize shit happening...
-
-Wicca: If shit happened once, it will happen twice more.
- The Goddess makes shit happen.
- An it harm none, let shit happen.
-
-Jehovah's Witness
\ No newline at end of file
Index: jokes/religions.html
===================================================================
RCS file: jokes/religions.html
diff -N jokes/religions.html
--- jokes/religions.html 9 Feb 2013 06:09:51 -0000 1.11
+++ /dev/null 1 Jan 1970 00:00:00 -0000
@@ -1,234 +0,0 @@
-<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-
-<title>Shit happens 2 - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation (FSF)</title>
-
-<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-
-<h2>Shit happens Contd.</h2>
-
-<pre>
- A SHORT GUIDE TO COMPARATIVE RELIGIONS
-
-
-TAOISM Shit happens.
-
-CONFUCIANISM Confucius say, "shit happens".
-
-CALVINISM Shit happens because you don't work
- hard enough.
-
-BUDDHISM If shit happens, it really isn't shit.
-
-SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST No shit on Saturdays.
-
-ZEN What is the sound of shit happening?
-
-HEDONISM There's nothing like a good shit happening.
-
-HINDUISM This shit happened before.
-
-MORMON This crap is going to happen again.
-
-ISLAM If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
-
-MOONIES Only happy shit really happens.
-
-STOICISM This shit is good for me.
-
-PROTESTANISM Let the shit happen to someone else.
-
-CATHOLICISM Shit happens because you are BAD.
-
-HARE KRISHNA Shit happens rama rama.
-
-JUDAISM Why does this shit always happen to us?
-
-ZOROASTRIANISM Shit happens half the time.
-
-CHRISTIAN SCIENCE Shit is in your mind.
-
-ATHEISM Sheeit.
-
-EXISTENTIALISM What is shit anyway?
-
-RASTAFARIANISM Let's smoke this shit.
-
-
-A SHORT GUIDE TO COMPARATIVE RELIGIONS
-VOLUME II
-
-
-TAOISM: If you can shit, it isn't shit.
-
-HINDUISM: This shit isn't a religion, it's the way of life.
-
-CHARISMATIC Shit is happening because you deserve it, but
-CATHOLICISM: we love you anyway.
-
-REFORM JUDAISM: Got any laxatives?
-
-NEWAGE: That's not shit, it's feldspar.
- A firm shit does not happen to me.
- This isn't shit if I really believe it's chocolate.
- I create my own shit.
-
-EXISTENTIALISM: Shit doesn't happen; shit is.
-
-WICCA: If shit happened once, it will happen twice more.
-
-JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES: No shit happens until Armaggedon.
-
-SECULAR HUMANISM: Shit evolves.
-
-CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: When shit happens, don't call a doctor--pray.
-
-ATHEISM: It look and smells like shit, so I'll be damned if
- if I'm going to taste it.
-
-
-RELIGION FROM AN I haven't smelt, seen, touched or tasted it,
-ATHEIST'S POINT OF VIEW but I know it's shit.
-
-
-RASTAFARIAN: Let's roll that shit up and smoke it.
-
-MORMON: Hey, there's more shit over here!
-
-UNITARIANISM: Go ahead, shit anywhere you want.
-
-IRAQI BAATHIST: Oh shit!
-
-VOODOO: Shit doesn't just happen -- somebody dumped
- it on you.
-
-TELEVANGELISM: Your tax-deductible donation could make this
- shit stop happening.
-
-AGNOSTICISM: It looks and smells like shit, but I haven't
- tasted it, so I'm not sure whether its shit
- or not.
-
-
-.PA
-In other various ways....
-
-
-YUPPIE SHIT: It's my shit! All mine! Isn't it beautiful?
-
-AN EMPLOYER: Shit happens, and rolls down hill.
-
-HEISENBERGISM: Shit happened, we just don't know where.
-
-NIXONISM: Shit didn't happen, and if it did I didn't know
- anything about it.
-
-COMMUNISM: It's everybody's shit.
-
-CAPITALISM: Shit happens, and it'll cost you!
-
-
-
-A FUNNY AND INTERESTING STORY OF WHERE
-PEOPLE LOOK FOR ANSWERS, EVERYWHERE EXCEPT
-WHERE THE ANSWERS REALLY ARE...
-
-New-Age-Astral-Vibration Rap
-by Steve Webber
-
-I was having an out-of-body experience so I grounded myself and got
-centered with the help of my spirit guide, then I almost astral
-traveled but the phone rang and I sensed the negative vibrations so I
-checked my numerology chart and almost had a primal but my energy was
-blocked so I did some bioenergetics and self-parenting and had some
-flower essences with oat bran ginseng muffins but my inner child wasn't
-being nurtured so I had some frozen yogurt that made me hyper so I did
-the relaxation response while listening to my subliminal tape but I was
-feeling depersonalized so I did some polarity work, foot reflexology, a
-past life regression, rebirthed myself and made an appointment for a
-shiatsu, reiki, rolfing, Feldenkrais, Swedish, Japanese deep tissue
-massage but I needed to energize my crystals and do some positive
-imagery because my visualization techniques and affirmations made my
-space feel invaded so to get empowered I got a psychic reading around
-the issue of my assertiveness so I could feel my radiance and have
-energy for my psychocalisthenics and my inversion swing before my
-harmonic brain wave synergy session which makes me more focused for my
-actualization seminar and holistic healing class and dream workshop so
-I'm clear for my Gestalt/behavioral/cognitive/transpersonal/Reichian/
-Jungian/Freudian/Ericksonian session but my aura is weak for my
-channeling group so I'll fast till noon to recharge my chakras and I
-sense my intuition is high and my cycle is focused so I'll turn on my
-ion generator to open up for my neuro-linguistic programming but I
-need to have my pyramid balanced before my guided synchronicity
-meditation so my cranio sacral therapy aligns me for the fire-walk
-after my tarot reading but I need a meaningful relationship to mirror
-myself so I'll go to the Intensive Whole Life Earth Rebirth Cosmic Expo
-Symposium Seminar Workshop to find someone who is real.
-</pre>
-
-<p>
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a>
-in the GNU Humor Collection.</p>
-
-<div class="infobox">
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4><p>The joke on this page was
-obtained from the FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/">email
-archives</a> of the GNU Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
-</div>
-
-</div>
-
-<!--#include virtual="/server/footer-min.html" -->
-
-<div id="footer">
-<p>
-Please send FSF & GNU inquiries to
-<a href="mailto:address@hidden"><em>address@hidden</em></a>. There are
-also <a href="http://www.fsf.org/about/contact.html">other ways to
-contact</a> the FSF.
-<br />
-Please send broken links and other corrections (or suggestions) to
-<a href="mailto:address@hidden"><em>address@hidden</em></a>.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Please see the
-<a href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting
-translations of this article.
-</p>
-
-<!--#include virtual="/server/bottom-notes.html" -->
-
-<p>Updated:
-<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2013/02/09 06:09:51 $
-<!-- timestamp end -->
-</p>
-</div>
-
-<div id="translations">
-<h4>Translations of this page</h4>
-
- <!-- Please keep this list alphabetical, and in the original -->
- <!-- language if possible, otherwise default to English -->
- <!-- If you do not have it English, please comment what the -->
- <!-- English is. If you add a new language here, please -->
- <!-- advise address@hidden and add it to -->
- <!-- - in /home/www/bin/nightly-vars either TAGSLANG or WEBLANG -->
- <!-- - in /home/www/html/server/standards/README.translations.html -->
- <!-- one of the lists under the section "Translations Underway" -->
- <!-- - if there is a translation team, you also have to add an alias -->
- <!-- to mail.gnu.org:/com/mailer/aliases -->
- <!-- Please also check you have the 2 letter language code right versus -->
- <!-- http://www.w3.org/WAI/ER/IG/ert/iso639.htm -->
-
-<ul class="translations-list">
-<!-- English -->
-<li><a href="/fun/jokes/religions.html">English</a> [en]</li>
-</ul>
-
-</div>
-</div>
-</body>
-</html>
Index: jokes/religions.txt
===================================================================
RCS file: jokes/religions.txt
diff -N jokes/religions.txt
--- jokes/religions.txt 23 Dec 2011 05:24:07 -0000 1.1
+++ /dev/null 1 Jan 1970 00:00:00 -0000
@@ -1,157 +0,0 @@
-
- A SHORT GUIDE TO COMPARATIVE RELIGIONS
-
-
-TAOISM Shit happens.
-
-CONFUCIANISM Confucius say, "shit happens".
-
-CALVINISM Shit happens because you don't work
- hard enough.
-
-BUDDHISM If shit happens, it really isn't shit.
-
-SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST No shit on Saturdays.
-
-ZEN What is the sound of shit happening?
-
-HEDONISM There's nothing like a good shit happening.
-
-HINDUISM This shit happened before.
-
-MORMON This shit is going to happen again.
-
-ISLAM If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
-
-MOONIES Only happy shit really happens.
-
-STOICISM This shit is good for me.
-
-PROTESTANISM Let the shit happen to someone else.
-
-CATHOLICISM Shit happens because you are BAD.
-
-HARE KRISHNA Shit happens rama rama.
-
-JUDAISM Why does this shit always happen to us?
-
-ZOROASTRIANISM Shit happens half the time.
-
-CHRISTIAN SCIENCE Shit is in your mind.
-
-ATHEISM Sheeit.
-
-EXISTENTIALISM What is shit anyway?
-
-RASTAFARIANISM Let's smoke this shit.
-
-
-A SHORT GUIDE TO COMPARATIVE RELIGIONS
-VOLUME II
-
-
-TAOISM: If you can shit, it isn't shit.
-
-HINDUISM: This shit isn't a religion, it's the way of life.
-
-CHARISMATIC Shit is happening because you deserve it, but
-CATHOLICISM: we love you anyway.
-
-REFORM JUDAISM: Got any laxatives?
-
-NEWAGE: That's not shit, it's feldspar.
- A firm shit does not happen to me.
- This isn't shit if I really believe it's chocolate.
- I create my own shit.
-
-EXISTENTIALISM: Shit doesn't happen; shit is.
-
-WICCA: If shit happened once, it will happen twice more.
-
-JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES: No shit happens until Armaggedon.
-
-SECULAR HUMANISM: Shit evolves.
-
-CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: When shit happens, don't call a doctor--pray.
-
-ATHEISM: It look and smells like shit, so I'll be damned if
- if I'm going to taste it.
-
-
-RELIGION FROM AN I haven't smelt, seen, touched or tasted it,
-ATHEIST'S POINT OF VIEW but I know it's shit.
-
-
-RASTAFARIAN: Let's roll that shit up and smoke it.
-
-MORMON: Hey, there's more shit over here!
-
-UNITARIANISM: Go ahead, shit anywhere you want.
-
-IRAQI BAATHIST: Oh shit!
-
-VOODOO: Shit doesn't just happen -- somebody dumped
- it on you.
-
-TELEVANGELISM: Your tax-deductible donation could make this
- shit stop happening.
-
-AGNOSTICISM: It looks and smells like shit, but I haven't
- tasted it, so I'm not sure whether its shit
- or not.
-
-
-.PA
-In other various ways....
-
-
-YUPPIE SHIT: It's my shit! All mine! Isn't it beautiful?
-
-AN EMPLOYER: Shit happens, and rolls down hill.
-
-HEISENBERGISM: Shit happened, we just don't know where.
-
-NIXONISM: Shit didn't happen, and if it did I didn't know
- anything about it.
-
-COMMUNISM: It's everybody's shit.
-
-CAPITALISM: Shit happens, and it'll cost you!
-
-
-
-A FUNNY AND INTERESTING STORY OF WHERE
-PEOPLE LOOK FOR ANSWERS, EVERYWHERE EXCEPT
-WHERE THE ANSWERS REALLY ARE...
-
-New-Age-Astral-Vibration Rap
-by Steve Webber
-
-I was having an out-of-body experience so I grounded myself and got
-centered with the help of my spirit guide, then I almost astral
-traveled but the phone rang and I sensed the negative vibrations so I
-checked my numerology chart and almost had a primal but my energy was
-blocked so I did some bioenergetics and self-parenting and had some
-flower essences with oat bran ginseng muffins but my inner child wasn't
-being nurtured so I had some frozen yogurt that made me hyper so I did
-the relaxation response while listening to my subliminal tape but I was
-feeling depersonalized so I did some polarity work, foot reflexology, a
-past life regression, rebirthed myself and made an appointment for a
-shiatsu, reiki, rolfing, Feldenkrais, Swedish, Japanese deep tissue
-massage but I needed to energize my crystals and do some positive
-imagery because my visualization techniques and affirmations made my
-space feel invaded so to get empowered I got a psychic reading around
-the issue of my assertiveness so I could feel my radiance and have
-energy for my psychocalisthenics and my inversion swing before my
-harmonic brain wave synergy session which makes me more focused for my
-actualization seminar and holistic healing class and dream workshop so
-I'm clear for my Gestalt/behavioral/cognitive/transpersonal/Reichian/
-Jungian/Freudian/Ericksonian session but my aura is weak for my
-channeling group so I'll fast till noon to recharge my chakras and I
-sense my intuition is high and my cycle is focused so I'll turn on my
-ion generator to open up for my neuro-linguistic programming but I
-need to have my pyramid balanced before my guided synchronicity
-meditation so my cranio sacral therapy aligns me for the fire-walk
-after my tarot reading but I need a meaningful relationship to mirror
-myself so I'll go to the Intensive Whole Life Earth Rebirth Cosmic Expo
-Symposium Seminar Workshop to find someone who is real.
Index: jokes/shit-happens.html
===================================================================
RCS file: jokes/shit-happens.html
diff -N jokes/shit-happens.html
--- jokes/shit-happens.html 9 Feb 2013 06:09:51 -0000 1.21
+++ /dev/null 1 Jan 1970 00:00:00 -0000
@@ -1,132 +0,0 @@
-<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-
-<title>Shit Happens - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation (FSF)</title>
-
-<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-
-<h2>Shit Happens in various world religions</h2>
-
-<ul>
-<li><strong>TAOISM:</strong> Shit happens.</li>
-<li><strong>CONFUCIANISM:</strong> Confucius say, "Shit happens".</li>
-<li><strong>ZEN:</strong> (What is the sound of shit happening?)</li>
-<li><strong>JESUITISM:</strong> If shit happens and when nobody is watching,
is it really shit?</li>
-<li><strong>ISLAM:</strong> Shit happens if it is the will of Allah.</li>
-<li><strong>COMMUNISM:</strong> Equal shit happens to all people.</li>
-<li><strong>CATHOLICISM:</strong> Shit happens because you are bad.</li>
-<li><strong>PSYCHOANALYSIS:</strong> Shit happens because of your toilet
training.</li>
-<li><strong>SCIENTOLOGY:</strong> Shit happens if you're on our shit
list.</li>
-<li><strong>ZOROASTRIANISM:</strong> Bad shit happens, and good shit
happens.</li>
-<li><strong>UNITARIANISM:</strong> Maybe shit happens. Let's have coffee and
donuts.</li>
-<li><strong>RIGHT-WING PROTESTANTISM:</strong> Let this shit happen to
someone else.</li>
-<li><strong>JUDAISM:</strong> Why does shit always happen to US?</li>
-<li><strong>REFORM JUDAISM:</strong> Got any Kaopectate?</li>
-<li><strong>MYSTICISM:</strong> What weird shit!</li>
-<li><strong>AGNOSTICISM:</strong> What is this shit?</li>
-<li><strong>ATHEISM:</strong> I don't believe this shit!</li>
-<li><strong>NIHILISM:</strong> Who needs this shit?</li>
-<li><strong>AZTEC:</strong> Cut out this shit!</li>
-<li><strong>QUAKER:</strong> Let's not fight over this shit.</li>
-<li><strong>FORTEANISM:</strong> No shit??</li>
-<li><strong>12-STEP:</strong> I am powerless to cut the shit.</li>
-<li><strong>VOODOO:</strong> Hey, that shit looks just like you!</li>
-<li><strong>NEWAGE:</strong> Visualize shit not happening.</li>
-<li><strong>DEISM:</strong> Shit just happens.</li>
-<li><strong>EXISTENTIALISM:</strong> Shit doesn't happen; shit is.</li>
-<li><strong>SECULAR HUMANISM:</strong> Shit evolves.</li>
-<li><strong>CHRISTIAN SCIENCE:</strong> Shit is in your mind.</li>
-<li><strong>BUDDHISM:</strong> Shit happens, but pay no mind.</li>
-<li><strong>SHINTOISM:</strong> Shit is everywhere.</li>
-<li><strong>HINDUISM:</strong> This shit has happened before.</li>
-<li><strong>WICCA:</strong> Mix this shit together and make it happen!</li>
-<li><strong>HASIDISM:</strong> Shit never happens the same way twice.</li>
-<li><strong>THEOSOPHY:</strong> You don't know half of the shit that
happens.</li>
-<li><strong>DIANETICS:</strong> Your mother gave you shit before you were
born.</li>
-<li><strong>SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST:</strong> No shit on Saturdays.</li>
-<li><strong>JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES:</strong> No shit happens until
Armageddon.</li>
-<li><strong>MOONIES:</strong> Only happy shit really happens.</li>
-<li><strong>HOPI:</strong> Corn fertilizer happens.</li>
-<li><strong>BAHA'I:</strong> It's all the same shit.</li>
-<li><strong>STOICISM:</strong> This shit is good for me.</li>
-<li><strong>OBJECTIVISM:</strong> Our shit is good for you.</li>
-<li><strong>EST:</strong> If my shit bothers you, that's your fault.</li>
-<li><strong>REAGANISM:</strong> Don't move; the shit will trickle down.</li>
-<li><strong>FASCISM:</strong> Shit makes the trains run on time.</li>
-<li><strong>CARGO CULT:</strong> A barge will come and take all the shit
away.</li>
-<li><strong>EMACS:</strong> Hold down Control-Meta-Shit.</li>
-<li><strong>DISCORDIANISM:</strong> Some funny shit happened to me today.</li>
-<li><strong>RASTAFARIANISM:</strong> Let's smoke this shit.</li>
-<li><strong>CHARISMATIC:</strong> This is not shit and it doesn't smell
bad.</li>
-<li><strong>MASONIC:</strong> Shit happens, but we can't discuss it during
Lodge.</li>
-<li><strong>RED CROSS:</strong> Shit happens - send money.</li>
-<li><strong>EVANGELICAL:</strong> Praise God in spite of this shit cause this
shit ain't gonna last much longer.</li>
-<li><strong>JAINISM:</strong> Your Shit should not harm anything.</li>
-</ul>
-
-<p>
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a>
-in the GNU Humor Collection.</p>
-
-<div class="infobox">
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4><p>The joke on this page was
-obtained from the FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/">email
-archives</a> of the GNU Project.</p>
-<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
-</div>
-
-</div>
-
-<!--#include virtual="/server/footer-min.html" -->
-
-<div id="footer">
-<p>
-Please send FSF & GNU inquiries to
-<a href="mailto:address@hidden"><em>address@hidden</em></a>. There are
-also <a href="http://www.fsf.org/about/contact.html">other ways to
-contact</a> the FSF.
-<br />
-Please send broken links and other corrections (or suggestions) to
-<a href="mailto:address@hidden"><em>address@hidden</em></a>.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Please see the
-<a href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting
-translations of this article.
-</p>
-
-<!--#include virtual="/server/bottom-notes.html" -->
-
-<p>Updated:
-<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2013/02/09 06:09:51 $
-<!-- timestamp end -->
-</p>
-</div>
-
-<div id="translations">
-<h4>Translations of this page</h4>
-
- <!-- Please keep this list alphabetical, and in the original -->
- <!-- language if possible, otherwise default to English -->
- <!-- If you do not have it English, please comment what the -->
- <!-- English is. If you add a new language here, please -->
- <!-- advise address@hidden and add it to -->
- <!-- - in /home/www/bin/nightly-vars either TAGSLANG or WEBLANG -->
- <!-- - in /home/www/html/server/standards/README.translations.html -->
- <!-- one of the lists under the section "Translations Underway" -->
- <!-- - if there is a translation team, you also have to add an alias -->
- <!-- to mail.gnu.org:/com/mailer/aliases -->
- <!-- Please also check you have the 2 letter language code right versus -->
- <!-- http://www.w3.org/WAI/ER/IG/ert/iso639.htm -->
-
-<ul class="translations-list">
-<!-- English -->
-<li><a href="/fun/jokes/shit-happens.html">English</a> [en]</li>
-</ul>
-
-</div>
-</div>
-</body>
-</html>
Index: jokes/shit-happens.txt
===================================================================
RCS file: jokes/shit-happens.txt
diff -N jokes/shit-happens.txt
--- jokes/shit-happens.txt 23 Dec 2011 05:24:08 -0000 1.1
+++ /dev/null 1 Jan 1970 00:00:00 -0000
@@ -1,101 +0,0 @@
- SHIT HAPPENS
- in various world religions
-
-
-TAOISM: Shit happens.
-
-CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say, "Shit happens".
-
-ZEN: (What is the sound of shit happening?)
-
-JESUITISM: If shit happens and when nobody is watching, is it really shit?
-
-ISLAM: Shit happens if it is the will of Allah.
-
-CATHOLICISM: Shit happens because you are bad.
-
-PSYCHOANALYSIS: Shit happens because of your toilet training.
-
-SCIENTOLOGY: Shit happens if you're on our shit list.
-
-ZOROASTRIANISM: Bad shit happens, and good shit happens.
-
-UNITARIANISM: Maybe shit happens. Let's have coffee and donuts.
-
-RIGHT-WING PROTESTANTISM: Let this shit happen to someone else.
-
-JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen to US?
-
-REFORM JUDAISM: Got any Kaopectate?
-
-MYSTICISM: What weird shit!
-
-AGNOSTICISM: What is this shit?
-
-ATHEISM: I don't believe this shit!
-
-NIHILISM: Who needs this shit?
-
-AZTEC: Cut out this shit!
-
-QUAKER: Let's not fight over this shit.
-
-FORTEANISM: No shit??
-
-12-STEP: I am powerless to cut the shit.
-
-VOODOO: Hey, that shit looks just like you!
-
-NEWAGE: Visualize shit not happening.
-
-DEISM: Shit just happens.
-
-EXISTENTIALISM: Shit doesn't happen; shit is.
-
-SECULAR HUMANISM: Shit evolves.
-
-CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: Shit is in your mind.
-
-BUDDHISM: Shit happens, but pay no mind.
-
-SHINTOISM: Shit is everywhere.
-
-HINDUISM: This shit has happened before.
-
-WICCA: Mix this shit together and make it happen!
-
-HASIDISM: Shit never happens the same way twice.
-
-THEOSOPHY: You don't know half of the shit that happens.
-
-DIANETICS: Your mother gave you shit before your were born.
-
-SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST: No shit on Saturdays.
-
-JEHOVAH's WITNESSES: No shit happens until Armageddon.
-
-MOONIES: Only happy shit really happens.
-
-HOPI: Corn fertilizer happens.
-
-BAHA'I: It's all the same shit.
-
-STOICISM: This shit is good for me.
-
-OBJECTIVISM: Our shit is good for you.
-
-EST: If my shit bothers you, that's your fault.
-
-REAGANISM: Don't move; the shit will trickle down.
-
-FASCISM: Shit makes the trains run on time.
-
-CARGO CULT: A barge will come and take all the shit away.
-
-EMACS: Hold down Control-Meta-Shit.
-
-DISCORDIANISM: Some funny shit happened to me today.
-
-RASTAFARIANISM: Let's smoke this shit.
-
-MASONIC: Shit happens, but we can't discuss it during Lodge.
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