[taler-marketing] branch master updated: edits

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grothoff pushed a commit to branch master
in repository marketing.

The following commit(s) were added to refs/heads/master by this push:
     new 5f97d21  edits
5f97d21 is described below

commit 5f97d21437a0335715fe9272eac2d5031644df30
Author: Christian Grothoff <christian@grothoff.org>
AuthorDate: Fri Jan 28 18:46:21 2022 +0100

    edits
---
 2022-privacy/privacy.tex | 10 +++++-----
 1 file changed, 5 insertions(+), 5 deletions(-)

diff --git a/2022-privacy/privacy.tex b/2022-privacy/privacy.tex
index a97018f..6915d20 100644
--- a/2022-privacy/privacy.tex
+++ b/2022-privacy/privacy.tex
@@ -280,11 +280,11 @@ rejection of treating every citizen as a criminal suspect 
by doubling down.
 The missing link in the ECB proposal that would reveal the dystopic reality
 they would invoke would be a statement that facial recognition could be used
 to conveniently establish the payer's identity --- or ``pay with your smile'',
-as contemporary account-based digital payment offerings already put it.  If
-CBDC payment data, which like other payment data can be expected to be
-retained for 6 or more years~\cite{fca}, were to be strongly coupled with our
-identities, those who dislike living in a panopticon could only hope for such
-a CBDC to be rarely used.
+as contemporary account-based digital payment offerings already put it.  We
+stress that CBDC payment data, like other payment data, can be expected to be
+retained for 6 or more years~\cite{fca}.  If CBDC payment data is additionally
+strongly coupled with our identities, those who dislike living in a panopticon
+could only hope for such a CBDC to be rarely used.
 
 
 % FIXME This paragraph. It conflates and rambles incoherently with a lot of ()s

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