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afraid of
the articles ; I was afraid of something else which had nothing to do with
them or with my novel. I started, for instance, to be afraid of the dark. I
was reaching the stage of mental derangement. I felt, especially just before
going to sleep, that some very cold, supple octopus was fastening its
tentacles round my heart. I had to sleep with the light on.
'My beloved had changed too. I told her nothing about the octopus, of
course, but she saw that something was wrong with me. She lost weight, grew
paler, stopped laughing and kept begging me to have that excerpt from the
novel printed. She said I should forget everything and go south to the Black
Sea, paying for the journey with what was left of the hundred thousand
roubles.
'She was very insistent, so to avoid arguing with her (something told
me that I never would go to the Black Sea) I promised to arrange the trip
soon. However, she announced that she would buy me the ticket herself. I
took out all my money, which was about ten thousand roubles, and gave it to
her.
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