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www/fun/jokes gingrinch.html
|
From: |
Yavor Doganov |
|
Subject: |
www/fun/jokes gingrinch.html |
|
Date: |
Tue, 27 Oct 2009 15:53:33 +0000 |
CVSROOT: /web/www
Module name: www
Changes by: Yavor Doganov <yavor> 09/10/27 15:53:33
Modified files:
fun/jokes : gingrinch.html
Log message:
Reformat and encapsulate into `lyrics' class. Don't include
footer-min.
CVSWeb URLs:
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/gingrinch.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.7&r2=1.8
Patches:
Index: gingrinch.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /web/www/www/fun/jokes/gingrinch.html,v
retrieving revision 1.7
retrieving revision 1.8
diff -u -b -r1.7 -r1.8
--- gingrinch.html 5 Nov 2008 00:45:28 -0000 1.7
+++ gingrinch.html 27 Oct 2009 15:53:29 -0000 1.8
@@ -1,148 +1,146 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/header.html" -->
-
<title>Gingrinch - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation (FSF)</title>
-
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
-
<h2>THE GINGRINCH THAT STOLE CONGRESS</h2>
-<pre>
-THE GINGRINCH THAT STOLE CONGRESS
-(With apologies to Dr. Seuss)
-
-Every Rep down in Congress liked Clinton somewhat,
-Except for the Gingrinch, who simply did NOT!
-He hated Bill Clinton! He hated his wife!
-He vowed to torment them the rest of his life!
-
-The Ging hated anyone left of the Huns,
-He hated the wusses who didn't like guns.
-He hated the teachers who wouldn't lead prayers,
-He hated the people who'd tax millionaires!
-He hated "McGoverniks" whining 'bout rights,
-Like equal protection for gays and nonwhites.
-
-He hated the folks who said "Nicotine kills"
-And vowed he would pass more pro-nicotine bills.
-He hated the folks who said "Women need choice"
-And vowed to give middle-aged males more voice.
-But he hated the people on welfare much more;
-He hated the way they were POOR POOR POOR POOR!
-
-He hated the way they had no jobs at all,
-This struck him as heaploads of GALL GALL GALL GALL!
-They also lacked training and day care. So what?
-The Gingrinch announced he'd come up with a plot:
-"Get off of Welfare! Get off today!
-Or we will take all of your children AWAY!"
-
-Now, no one knew what made the Ging such a meanie:
-It could be because he had a small weenie.
-It could be because he had Donahue hair,
-Or maybe because not much lurked under there.
-But probably what most explained the man's life
-Was that he abandoned his children and wife.
-
-Yes, 'way down in Georgia, his wife lay near dead
-Sickened with cancer, in a hospital bed.
-He crept in to see her (they let him, of course)
-And whispered, quite sweetly, "I want a divorce!"
-He whipped out his pencil with something like zeal
-And got down to work on his alimony deal.
-And while she was whimp'ring he said, "By the way,
-I'm leaving for somebody younger - hooray!"
-
-The Gingrinch's heart shrank two sizes that night.
-And that could be what makes him so Christian Right.
-Now, the night before Congress the Ging hatched his plans:
-From now on he'd speak for, quote, "Normal Americans."
-Tax-slashers! That's what those "Normal" folks love!
-He'd take to the skies and dismantle the gov!
-
-He jumped out of bed and he summoned his pet:
-A doberman pinscher who once killed a vet.
-George was his name (as in Wallace, not Bush);
-"Boy!" said the Gingrinch, "We're gonna whip tush!"
-
-They flew to a soup kitchen, filled with sad "bums,"
-Snatched up the kettle and stole all the crumbs.
-They flew to a basketball game late at night
-And shooed the kids out, to the dealers' delight.
-
-They unplugged mass transit and cried "Buy a car!"
-Then chopped down a forest and chomped a cigar.
-What bliss! What fun! What downright glee!
-What joy! What yuks! What great TV!
-
-The next day the Gingrinch sat high above view
-And looked down on Congress (as many folks do).
-He wanted to relish the joy and the cheer
-Of folks waking up to their first tax-free year.
-
-He waited and waited and waited some more;
-He waited to hear them cry "Newt! Take the floor!"
-He waited for kudos and champagne free-flowing,
-He waited for trumpets on high to start blowing.
-But instead of rejoicing and hoopla, etcet,
-He heard a strange rumble that made his palms sweat.
-
-The people weren't happy, not happy at all!
-They ringed 'round the Statehouse! They filled up the hall!
-They groused and they grumbled and cried, "We're real mad!
-We want all those costly old programs we had!
-Give back our givebacks! Give back our pork!
-Give back the stuff you walked off with, you dork!"
-
-And the Gingrinch sat simply quite stunned at the sight
-Of Normal Americans, not left and not right.
-
-They wanted clean air and they wanted green trees,
-They wanted full coverage for medical fees,
-They wanted nice schools and streets safe to play,
-They wanted it all - they just didn't want to pay!
-
-And when the truth hit him, the Ging grinned a grin,
-He laughed and he laughed till the tears ran down his chin.
-The Clintons climbed up to the Dome, laughing too.
-"Hee hee hee," Bill and Hill laughed, "Hoo hoo hoo!"
-They laughed with the cheer that comes from within,
-They laughed with the knowledge: You just cannot win.
-
-The Gingrinch and Clintons now shared the same plight
-Whatever they'd do, they could not do it right.
-"Folks hate you," said Bill, "once you land in D.C.
-But I've got a plan: Let us bond, you and me.
-We'll work as a team, yes! That's my advice!
-We'll listen and nod and make NICE NICE NICE!"
-The Prez put his hand out, they hugged on the ledge...
+<div class="lyrics">
+<p>THE GINGRINCH THAT STOLE CONGRESS</p>
+<p>(With apologies to Dr. Seuss)</p>
+
+<p>Every Rep down in Congress liked Clinton somewhat,<br />
+Except for the Gingrinch, who simply did NOT!<br />
+He hated Bill Clinton! He hated his wife!<br />
+He vowed to torment them the rest of his life!</p>
+
+<p>The Ging hated anyone left of the Huns,<br />
+He hated the wusses who didn't like guns.<br />
+He hated the teachers who wouldn't lead prayers,<br />
+He hated the people who'd tax millionaires!<br />
+He hated “McGoverniks” whining 'bout rights,<br />
+Like equal protection for gays and nonwhites.</p>
+
+<p>He hated the folks who said “Nicotine kills”<br />
+And vowed he would pass more pro-nicotine bills.<br />
+He hated the folks who said “Women need choice”<br />
+And vowed to give middle-aged males more voice.<br />
+But he hated the people on welfare much more;<br />
+He hated the way they were POOR POOR POOR POOR!</p>
+
+<p>He hated the way they had no jobs at all,<br />
+This struck him as heaploads of GALL GALL GALL GALL!<br />
+They also lacked training and day care. So what?<br />
+The Gingrinch announced he'd come up with a plot:<br />
+“Get off of Welfare! Get off today!<br />
+Or we will take all of your children AWAY!”</p>
+
+<p>Now, no one knew what made the Ging such a meanie:<br />
+It could be because he had a small weenie.<br />
+It could be because he had Donahue hair,<br />
+Or maybe because not much lurked under there.<br />
+But probably what most explained the man's life<br />
+Was that he abandoned his children and wife.</p>
+
+<p>Yes, 'way down in Georgia, his wife lay near dead<br />
+Sickened with cancer, in a hospital bed.<br />
+He crept in to see her (they let him, of course)<br />
+And whispered, quite sweetly, “I want a divorce!”<br />
+He whipped out his pencil with something like zeal<br />
+And got down to work on his alimony deal.<br />
+And while she was whimp'ring he said, “By the way,<br />
+I'm leaving for somebody younger — hooray!”</p>
+
+<p>The Gingrinch's heart shrank two sizes that night.<br />
+And that could be what makes him so Christian Right.<br />
+Now, the night before Congress the Ging hatched his plans:<br />
+From now on he'd speak for, quote, “Normal Americans.”<br />
+Tax-slashers! That's what those “Normal” folks love!<br />
+He'd take to the skies and dismantle the gov!</p>
+
+<p>He jumped out of bed and he summoned his pet:<br />
+A doberman pinscher who once killed a vet.<br />
+George was his name (as in Wallace, not Bush);<br />
+“Boy!” said the Gingrinch, “We're gonna whip tush!”</p>
+
+<p>They flew to a soup kitchen, filled with sad “bums,”<br />
+Snatched up the kettle and stole all the crumbs.<br />
+They flew to a basketball game late at night<br />
+And shooed the kids out, to the dealers' delight.</p>
+
+<p>They unplugged mass transit and cried “Buy a car!”<br />
+Then chopped down a forest and chomped a cigar.<br />
+What bliss! What fun! What downright glee!<br />
+What joy! What yuks! What great TV!</p>
+
+<p>The next day the Gingrinch sat high above view<br />
+And looked down on Congress (as many folks do).<br />
+He wanted to relish the joy and the cheer<br />
+Of folks waking up to their first tax-free year.</p>
+
+<p>He waited and waited and waited some more;<br />
+He waited to hear them cry “Newt! Take the floor!”<br />
+He waited for kudos and champagne free-flowing,<br />
+He waited for trumpets on high to start blowing.<br />
+But instead of rejoicing and hoopla, etcet,<br />
+He heard a strange rumble that made his palms sweat.</p>
+
+<p>The people weren't happy, not happy at all!<br />
+They ringed 'round the Statehouse! They filled up the hall!<br />
+They groused and they grumbled and cried, “We're real mad!<br />
+We want all those costly old programs we had!<br />
+Give back our givebacks! Give back our pork!<br />
+Give back the stuff you walked off with, you dork!”</p>
+
+<p>And the Gingrinch sat simply quite stunned at the sight<br />
+Of Normal Americans, not left and not right.</p>
+
+<p>They wanted clean air and they wanted green trees,<br />
+They wanted full coverage for medical fees,<br />
+They wanted nice schools and streets safe to play,<br />
+They wanted it all — they just didn't want to pay!</p>
+
+<p>And when the truth hit him, the Ging grinned a grin,<br />
+He laughed and he laughed till the tears ran down his chin.<br />
+The Clintons climbed up to the Dome, laughing too.<br />
+“Hee hee hee,” Bill and Hill laughed, “Hoo hoo
+hoo!”<br />
+They laughed with the cheer that comes from within,<br />
+They laughed with the knowledge: You just cannot win.</p>
+
+<p>The Gingrinch and Clintons now shared the same plight<br />
+Whatever they'd do, they could not do it right.<br />
+“Folks hate you,” said Bill, “once you land in D.C.<br />
+But I've got a plan: Let us bond, you and me.<br />
+We'll work as a team, yes! That's my advice!<br />
+We'll listen and nod and make NICE NICE NICE!”<br />
+The Prez put his hand out, they hugged on the ledge…</p>
+
+<p>And then that old Gingrinch pushed Bill off the edge.</p>
+</div>
-And then that old Gingrinch pushed Bill off the edge.
-</pre>
+<p>This joke is also available in <a href="/fun/jokes/gingrinch.text">
+plain text</a>.</p>
-<p>
-<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a>
-in the GNU Humor Collection.</p>
+<p><a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a> in the GNU Humor
+Collection.</p>
-<div class="infobox">
-<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4><p>The joke on this page was
-obtained from the FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email
-archives</a> of the GNU Project.</p>
+<h4 id="Disclaimer">Disclaimer</h4>
+<p>The joke on this page was obtained from the
+FSF's <a href="http://lists.gnu.org/";>email archives</a> of the GNU
+Project.</p>
<p>The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.</p>
-</div>
</div>
-<!--#include virtual="/server/footer-min.html" -->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
<div id="footer">
<p>
Please send FSF & GNU inquiries to
-<a href="mailto:address@hidden";><em>address@hidden</em></a>. There are
-also <a href="http://www.fsf.org/about/contact.html";>other ways to
-contact</a> the FSF.
+<a href="mailto:address@hidden";><address@hidden></a>. There are
+also <a href="/contact/">other ways to contact</a> the FSF.
<br />
-Please send broken links and other corrections (or suggestions) to
-<a href="mailto:address@hidden";><em>address@hidden</em></a>.
+Please send broken links and other corrections or suggestions to
+<a href="mailto:address@hidden";><address@hidden></a>.
</p>
<p>
@@ -155,7 +153,7 @@
<p>
Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2008/11/05 00:45:28 $
+$Date: 2009/10/27 15:53:29 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
@@ -163,24 +161,25 @@
<div id="translations">
<h4>Translations of this page</h4>
- <!-- Please keep this list alphabetical, and in the original -->
- <!-- language if possible, otherwise default to English -->
- <!-- If you do not have it English, please comment what the -->
- <!-- English is. If you add a new language here, please -->
- <!-- advise address@hidden and add it to -->
- <!-- - in /home/www/bin/nightly-vars either TAGSLANG or WEBLANG -->
- <!-- - in /home/www/html/server/standards/README.translations.html -->
- <!-- one of the lists under the section "Translations Underway" -->
- <!-- - if there is a translation team, you also have to add an alias -->
- <!-- to mail.gnu.org:/com/mailer/aliases -->
- <!-- Please also check you have the 2 letter language code right versus -->
- <!-- http://www.w3.org/WAI/ER/IG/ert/iso639.htm -->
+<!-- Please keep this list alphabetical by language code. -->
+<!-- Comment what the language is for each type, i.e. de is German. -->
+<!-- Write the language name in its own language (Deutsch) in the text. -->
+<!-- If you add a new language here, please -->
+<!-- advise address@hidden and add it to -->
+<!-- - /home/www/html/server/standards/README.translations.html -->
+<!-- - one of the lists under the section "Translations Underway" -->
+<!-- - if there is a translation team, you also have to add an alias -->
+<!-- to mail.gnu.org:/com/mailer/aliases -->
+<!-- Please also check you have the language code right; see: -->
+<!-- http://www.loc.gov/standards/iso639-2/php/code_list.php -->
+<!-- If the 2-letter ISO 639-1 code is not available, -->
+<!-- use the 3-letter ISO 639-2. -->
+<!-- Please use W3C normative character entities. -->
<ul class="translations-list">
<!-- English -->
<li><a href="/fun/jokes/gingrinch.html">English</a> [en]</li>
</ul>
-
</div>
</div>
</body>
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