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www/fun/jokes know.your.sysadmin.html
|
From: |
Karl Berry |
|
Subject: |
www/fun/jokes know.your.sysadmin.html |
|
Date: |
Tue, 09 Jun 2009 20:56:13 +0000 |
CVSROOT: /web/www
Module name: www
Changes by: Karl Berry <karl> 09/06/09 20:56:13
Modified files:
fun/jokes : know.your.sysadmin.html
Log message:
retain line breaks, etc., #449898
CVSWeb URLs:
http://web.cvs.savannah.gnu.org/viewcvs/www/fun/jokes/know.your.sysadmin.html?cvsroot=www&r1=1.9&r2=1.10
Patches:
Index: know.your.sysadmin.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /web/www/www/fun/jokes/know.your.sysadmin.html,v
retrieving revision 1.9
retrieving revision 1.10
diff -u -b -r1.9 -r1.10
--- know.your.sysadmin.html 5 Nov 2008 00:45:28 -0000 1.9
+++ know.your.sysadmin.html 9 Jun 2009 20:56:09 -0000 1.10
@@ -6,258 +6,274 @@
<!--#include virtual="/server/banner.html" -->
<h2>Know your System Administrator</h2>
-<p />
- (a field guide)
-<p />
+<p>(a field guide)</p>
+
+<p>
There are four major species of Unix sysad:
-<p />
+</p><p>
1.The <b>TECHNICAL THUG</b>. Usually a systems programmer who has been forced
into system administration; writes scripts in a polyglot of the Bourne shell,
sed, C, awk, perl, and APL.
-<p />
+</p><p>
2.The <b>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST</b>. Usually a retentive drone (or rarely, a
harridan ex-secretary) who has been forced into system administration.
-<p />
+</p><p>
3.The <b>MANIAC</b>. Usually an aging cracker who discovered that neither the
Mossad nor Cuba are willing to pay a living wage for computer
espionage. Fell into system administration; occasionally approaches
major competitors with indesp schemes.
-<p />
+</p><p>
4.The <b>IDIOT</b>. Usually a cretin, morpohodite, or old COBOL programmer
selected to be the system administrator by a committee of cretins,
morphodites, and old COBOL programmers.
+</p>
- <h3>HOW TO IDENTIFY YOUR SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR:</h3>
-
-
-<h3>SITUATION:</h3> Low disk space.
-
-<h3>TECHNICAL THUG:</h3> Writes a suite of scripts to monitor disk usage,
-maintain a database of historic disk usage, predict future disk
-usage via least squares regression analysis, identify users
-who are more than a standard deviation over the mean, and send mail to
-the offending parties. Places script in cron. Disk usage does not
-change, since disk-hogs, by nature, either ignore
-script-generated mail, or file it away in triplicate.
-
-<h3>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</h3> Puts disk usage policy in motd. Uses disk
-quotas. Allows no exceptions, thus crippling development work.
-Locks accounts that go over quota.
-
-<h3>MANIAC:</h3>
+<center>
+<h3>HOW TO IDENTIFY YOUR SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR</h3>
+</center>
+
+<p><b>SITUATION:</b> Low disk space</p>
+
+<p><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Writes a suite of scripts to monitor disk
+usage, maintain a database of historic disk usage, predict future disk
+usage via least squares regression analysis, identify users who are more
+than a standard deviation over the mean, and send mail to the offending
+parties. Places script in cron. Disk usage does not change, since
+disk-hogs, by nature, either ignore script-generated mail, or file it
+away in triplicate.</p>
+
+<p><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Puts disk usage policy in motd. Uses
+disk quotas. Allows no exceptions, thus crippling development work.
+Locks accounts that go over quota.</p>
+<p><i>MANIAC:</i></p>
+<pre>
# cd /home
# rm -rf `du -s * | sort -rn | head -1 | awk '{print $2}'`;
+</pre>
-<h3>IDIOT:</h3>
-
+<p><i>IDIOT:</i></p>
+<pre>
# cd /home
# cat `du -s * | sort -rn | head -1 | awk '{ printf "%s/*\n", $2}'` |
compress
+</pre>
+<hr>
+<p><b>SITUATION:</b> Excessive CPU usage</p>
-<h3>SITUATION:</h3> Excessive CPU usage
-
-<h3>TECHNICAL THUG:</h3> Writes a suite of scripts to monitor processes,
maintain
-a database of CPU usage, identify processes more than a standard
-deviation over the norm, and renice offending
+<p><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Writes a suite of scripts to monitor
+processes, maintain a database of CPU usage, identify processes more
+than a standard deviation over the norm, and renice offending
processes. Places script in cron. Ends up renicing the production
-database into oblivion, bringing operations to a grinding halt,
-much to the delight of the xtrek freaks.
+database into oblivion, bringing operations to a grinding halt, much to
+the delight of the xtrek freaks.</p>
-<h3>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</h3> Puts CPU usage policy in motd. Uses CPU
quotas.
-Locks accounts that go over quota. Allows no exceptions, thus crippling
-development work, much to the delight of the xtrek freaks.
-
-<h3>MANIAC:</h3>
+<p><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Puts CPU usage policy in motd. Uses
+CPU quotas. Locks accounts that go over quota. Allows no exceptions,
+thus crippling development work, much to the delight of the xtrek
+freaks.</p>
+<p><i>MANIAC:</i></p>
+<pre>
# kill -9 `ps -augxww | sort -rn +8 -9 | head -1 | awk '{print $2}'`
-
-<h3>IDIOT:</h3>
-
+</pre>
+<p><i>IDIOT:</i></p>
+<pre>
# compress -f `ps -augxww | sort -rn +8 -9 | head -1 | awk '{print
$2}'`
+</pre>
+<hr>
+<p><b>SITUATION:</b> New account creation</p>
-<h3>SITUATION:</h3> New account creation.
-
-<h3>TECHNICAL THUG:</h3> Writes perl script that creates home directory, copies
-in incomprehensible default environment, and places entries in
-/etc/passwd, /etc/shadow, and /etc/group. (By hand,
-NOT with passmgmt.) Slaps on setuid bit; tells a nearby secretary to
-handle new accounts. Usually, said secretary is still dithering over
-the difference between 'enter' and 'return'; and so, no new
-accounts are ever created.
-
-<h3>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</h3> Puts new account policy in motd. Since people
-without accounts cannot read the motd, nobody ever fulfills the
-bureaucratic requirements; and so, no new accounts are ever created.
-
-<h3>MANIAC:</h3> "If you're too stupid to break in and create your own
account, I
-don't want you on the system. We've got too many goddamn sh*t-for-brains
-a**holes on this box anyway."
-
-<h3>IDIOT:</h3>
+<p><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Writes perl script that creates home
+directory, copies in incomprehensible default environment, and places
+entries in /etc/passwd, /etc/shadow, and /etc/group. (By hand, NOT with
+passmgmt.) Slaps on setuid bit; tells a nearby secretary to handle new
+accounts. Usually, said secretary is still dithering over the difference
+between 'enter' and 'return'; and so, no new accounts are ever
+created.</p>
+
+<p><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Puts new account policy in motd. Since
+people without accounts cannot read the motd, nobody ever fulfills the
+bureaucratic requirements; and so, no new accounts are ever created.</p>
+
+<p><i>MANIAC:</i> "If you're too stupid to break in and create your own
+account, I don't want you on the system. We've got too many goddamn
+sh*t-for-brains a**holes on this box anyway."</p>
+<p><i>IDIOT:</i>
+<pre>
# cd /home; mkdir "Bob's home directory"
# echo "Bob Simon:gandalf:0:0::/dev/tty:compress -f" > /etc/passwd
+</pre>
+<hr>
+<p><b>SITUATION:</b> Root disk fails</p>
-<h3>SITUATION:</h3> Root disk fails
-
-<h3>TECHNICAL THUG:</h3> Repairs drive. Usually is able to repair filesystem
from
-boot monitor. Failing that, front-panel toggles microkernel in and
-starts script on neighboring machine to load binary
+<p><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Repairs drive. Usually is able to repair
+filesystem from boot monitor. Failing that, front-panel toggles
+microkernel in and starts script on neighboring machine to load binary
boot code into broken machine, reformat and reinstall OS. Lets it run
-over the weekend while he goes mountain climbing.
-
-<h3>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</h3> Begins investigation to determine who broke
the
-drive. Refuses to fix system until culprit is identified and charged
-for the equipment.
+over the weekend while he goes mountain climbing.</p>
-<h3>MANIAC, LARGE SYSTEM:</h3> Rips drive from system, uses sledgehammer to
smash
-same to flinders. Calls manufacturer, threatens pets. Abuses field
-engineer while they put in a new drive and reinstall the OS.
+<p><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Begins investigation to determine who
+broke the drive. Refuses to fix system until culprit is identified and
+charged for the equipment.</p>
-<h3>MANIAC, SMALL SYSTEM:</h3> Rips drive from system, uses ball-peen hammer to
-smash same to flinders. Calls Requisitions, threatens pets. Abuses
-bystanders while putting in new drive and reinstalling OS.
+<p><i>MANIAC, LARGE SYSTEM:</i> Rips drive from system, uses
+sledgehammer to smash same to flinders. Calls manufacturer, threatens
+pets. Abuses field engineer while they put in a new drive and reinstall
+the OS.</p>
-<h3>IDIOT:</h3> Doesn't notice anything wrong.
+<p><i>MANIAC, SMALL SYSTEM:</i> Rips drive from system, uses ball-peen
+hammer to smash same to flinders. Calls Requisitions, threatens
+pets. Abuses bystanders while putting in new drive and reinstalling
+OS.</p>
+<p><i>IDIOT:</i> Doesn't notice anything wrong.</p>
-<h3>SITUATION:</h3> Poor network response.
+<hr>
+<p><b>SITUATION:</b> Poor network response</p>
-<h3>TECHNICAL THUG:</h3> Writes scripts to monitor network, then rewires entire
-machine room, improving response time by 2%. Shrugs shoulders, says,
-"I've done all I can do," and goes mountain climbing.
+<p><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Writes scripts to monitor network, then
+rewires entire machine room, improving response time by 2%. Shrugs
+shoulders, says, "I've done all I can do," and goes mountain
+climbing.</p>
-<h3>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</h3> Puts network usage policy in motd. Calls up
-Berkeley and AT&T, badgers whoever answers for network quotas. Tries
-to get xtrek freaks fired.
+<p><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Puts network usage policy in
+motd. Calls up Berkeley and AT&T, badgers whoever answers for
+network quotas. Tries to get xtrek freaks fired.</p>
-<h3>MANIAC:</h3> Every two hours, pulls ethernet cable from wall and waits for
-connections to time out.
-
-<h3>IDIOT:</h3>
+<p><i>MANIAC:</i> Every two hours, pulls ethernet cable from wall and
+waits for connections to time out.</p>
+<p><i>IDIOT:</i></p>
+<pre>
# compress -f /dev/en0
+</pre>
+<hr>
+<p><b>SITUATION:</b> User questions</p>
-<h3>SITUATION:</h3> User questions
-
-<h3>TECHNICAL THUG:</h3> Hacks the code of emacs' doctor-mode to answer new
users
-questions. Doesn't bother to tell people how to start the new
-"guru-mode", or for that matter, emacs.
+<p><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Hacks the code of emacs' doctor-mode to answer
+new users questions. Doesn't bother to tell people how to start the new
+"guru-mode", or for that matter, emacs.</p>
-<h3>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</h3> Puts user support policy in motd. Maintains
-queue of questions. Answers them when he gets a chance, often
-within two weeks of receipt of the proper form.
+<p><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Puts user support policy in
+motd. Maintains queue of questions. Answers them when he gets a chance,
+often within two weeks of receipt of the proper form.</p>
-<h3>MANIAC:</h3> Screams at users until they go away. Sometimes barters
knowledge
-for powerful drink and/or sycophantic adulation.
+<p><i>MANIAC:</i> Screams at users until they go away. Sometimes barters
+knowledge for powerful drink and/or sycophantic adulation.</p>
-<h3>IDIOT:</h3> Answers all questions to best of his knowledge until the user
-realizes few Unix systems support punched cards or JCL.
+<p><i>IDIOT:</i> Answers all questions to best of his knowledge until
+the user realizes few Unix systems support punched cards or JCL.</p>
+<hr>
+<p><b>SITUATION:</b> Stupid user questions</p>
-<h3>Stupid user questions</h3>
+<p><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Answers question in hex, binary, postfix,
+and/or French until user gives up and goes away.</p>
-<h3>TECHNICAL THUG:</h3> Answers question in hex, binary, postfix, and/or
French
-until user gives up and goes away.
-
-<h3>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</h3> Locks user's account until user can present
-documentation demonstrating their qualification to use the machine.
-
-<h3>MANIAC:</h3>
+<p><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Locks user's account until user can
+present documentation demonstrating their qualification to use the
+machine.</p>
+<p><i>MANIAC:</i></p>
+<pre>
# cat > > ~luser/.cshrc
alias vi 'rm \!*;unalias vi;grep -v BoZo ~/.cshrc > ~/.z; mv -f ~/.z
~/.cshrc'
^D
-
-<h3>IDIOT:</h3> Answers all questions to best of his knowledge. Recruits user
to
-system administration team.
+</pre>
+<p><i>IDIOT:</i> Answers all questions to best of his
+knowledge. Recruits user to system administration team.</p>
+<hr>
+<p><b>SITUATION:</b> Process accounting management</p>
-<h3>SITUATION:</h3> Process accounting management
+<p><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Ignores packaged accounting software; trusts
+scripts to sniff out any problems & compute charges.</p>
-<h3>TECHNICAL THUG:</h3> Ignores packaged accounting software; trusts scripts
to
-sniff out any problems & compute charges.
+<p><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Devotes 75% of disk space to
+accounting records owned by root and chmod'ed 000.</p>
-<h3>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</h3> Devotes 75% of disk space to accounting
records
-owned by root and chmod'ed 000.
-
-<h3>MANIAC:</h3> Laughs fool head off at very mention of accounting.
-
-<h3>IDIOT:</h3>
+<p><i>MANIAC:</i> Laughs fool head off at very mention of accounting.</p>
+<p><i>IDIOT:</i></p>
+<pre>
# lpr /etc/wtmp /usr/adm/paact
+</pre>
+<hr>
+<p><b>SITUATION:</b> Religious war, BSD vs. System V</p>
-<h3>SITUATION:</h3> Religious war, BSD vs. System V
-
-<h3>TECHNICAL THUG:</h3> BSD. Crippled on System V boxes.
-
-<h3>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</h3> System V. Horrified by the people who use BSD.
-Places frequent calls to DEA.
+<p><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> BSD. Crippled on System V boxes.</p>
-<h3>MANIAC:</h3> Prefers BSD, but doesn't care as long as HIS processes run
-quickly.
+<p><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> System V. Horrified by the people who
+use BSD. Places frequent calls to DEA.</p>
-<h3>IDIOT:</h3>
+<p><i>MANIAC:</i> Prefers BSD, but doesn't care as long as HIS processes run
+quickly.</p>
+<p><i>IDIOT:</i></p>
+<pre>
# cd c:
+</pre>
+<hr>
+<p><b>SITUATION:</b> Religious war, System V vs. AIX</p>
-<h3>SITUATION:</h3> Religious war, System V vs. AIX
-
-<h3>TECHNICAL THUG:</h3> Weeps.
-
-<h3>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</h3> AIX-- doesn't much care for the OS, but loves
-the jackboots.
-
-<h3>MANIAC:</h3> System V, but keeps AIX skills up, knowing full well how much
-Big Financial Institutions love IBM...
+<p><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Weeps.</p>
-<h3>IDIOT:</h3> AIX.
+<p><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> AIX—doesn't much care for the OS,
+but loves the jackboots.</p>
+<p><i>MANIAC:</i> System V, but keeps AIX skills up, knowing full well how much
+Big Financial Institutions love IBM&hellip.</p>
+<p><i>IDIOT:</i> AIX.</p>
-<h3>SITUATION:</h3> Balky printer daemons.
-<h3>TECHNICAL THUG:</h3> Rewrites lpd in FORTH.
+<hr>
+<p><b>SITUATION:</b> Balky printer daemons.</p>
-<h3>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</h3> Puts printer use policy in motd. Calls
customer
-support every time the printer freezes. Tries to get user who submitted
-the most recent job fired.
+<p><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Rewrites lpd in FORTH.</p>
-<h3>MANIAC:</h3> Writes script that kills all the daemons, clears all the print
-queues, and maybe restarts the daemons. Runs it once a hour from cron.
+<p><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Puts printer use policy in motd. Calls
+customer support every time the printer freezes. Tries to get user who
+submitted the most recent job fired.</p>
-<h3>IDIOT:</h3>
+<p><i>MANIAC:</i> Writes script that kills all the daemons, clears all
+the print queues, and maybe restarts the daemons. Runs it once a hour
+from cron.</p>
+<p><i>IDIOT:</i></p>
+<pre>
# kill -9 /dev/lp ; /dev/lp &
+</pre>
+<hr>
+<p><b>SITUATION:</b> OS upgrade.</p>
-<h3>SITUATION:</h3> OS upgrade
+<p><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Reads source code of new release, takes only
+what he likes.</p>
-<h3>TECHNICAL THUG:</h3> Reads source code of new release, takes only what he
-likes.
-
-<h3>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</h3> Instigates lawsuit against the vendor for
having
-shipped a product with bugs in it in the first place.
-
-<h3>MANIAC:</h3>
+<p><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Instigates lawsuit against the vendor
+for having shipped a product with bugs in it in the first place.</p>
+<p><i>MANIAC:</i></p>
+<pre>
# uptime
1:33pm up 19 days, 22:49, 167 users, load average: 6.49, 6.45,
6.31
@@ -265,26 +281,28 @@
Well, it's upgrade time. Should take a few hours. And good luck on
that 5:00 deadline, guys! We're all pulling for you!
^D
+</pre>
-<h3>IDIOT:</h3>
-
+<p><i>IDIOT:</i></p>
+<pre>
# dd if=/dev/rmt8 of=/vmunix
+</pre>
+<hr>
+<p><b>SITUATION:</b> Balky mail.</p>
-<h3>SITUATION:</h3> Balky mail
-
-<h3>TECHNICAL THUG:</h3> Rewrites sendmail.cf from scratch. Rewrites sendmail
in
-SNOBOL. Hacks kernel to implement file locking. Hacks kernel to
-implement "better" semaphores. Rewrites sendmail in assembly. Hacks
-kernel to . . .
-
-<h3>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</h3> Puts mail use policy in motd. Locks accounts
-that go over mail use quota. Keeps quota low enough that people go
-back to interoffice mail, thus solving problem.
+<p><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Rewrites sendmail.cf from scratch. Rewrites
+sendmail in SNOBOL. Hacks kernel to implement file locking. Hacks kernel
+to implement "better" semaphores. Rewrites sendmail in assembly. Hacks
+kernel to …</p>
-<h3>MANIAC:</h3>
+<p><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Puts mail use policy in motd. Locks
+accounts that go over mail use quota. Keeps quota low enough that people
+go back to interoffice mail, thus solving problem.</p>
+<p><i>MANIAC:</i>
+</pre>
# kill -9 `ps -augxww | grep sendmail | awk '{print $2}'`
# rm -f /usr/spool/mail/*
# wall
@@ -294,152 +312,164 @@
# write max
I've got my boots and backpack. Ready to leave for Mount Tam?
^D
+</pre>
-<h3>IDIOT:</h3>
-
+<p><i>IDIOT:</i></p>
+<pre>
# echo "HELP!" | mail
tech_support.AT.vendor.com%kremvax%bitnet!BIFF!!!
+</pre>
+<hr>
+<p><b>SITUATION:</b> Users want phone list application.</p>
-<h3>SITUATION:</h3> Users want phone list application
-
-<h3>TECHNICAL THUG:</h3> Writes RDBMS in perl and Smalltalk. Users give up and
go
-back to post-it notes.
+<p><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Writes RDBMS in perl and Smalltalk. Users give
+up and go back to post-it notes.</p>
-<h3>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</h3> Oracle. Users give up and go back to post-it
-notes.
+<p><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Oracle. Users give up and go back to
+post-it notes.</p>
-<h3>MANIAC:</h3> Tells the users to use flat files and grep, the way God meant
-man to keep track of phone numbers. Users give up and go back to
-post-it notes.
-
-<h3>IDIOT:</h3>
+<p><i>MANIAC:</i> Tells the users to use flat files and grep, the way
+God meant man to keep track of phone numbers. Users give up and go back
+to post-it notes.</p>
+<p><i>IDIOT:</i></p>
+<pre>
% dd ibs=80 if=/dev/rdisk001s7 | grep "Fred"
+</pre>
+<center>
+ <h4>TYPICAL ROOT .cshrc FILE:</h4>
+</center>
- <h3>OTHER GUIDELINES</h3>
-
-<h3>TYPICAL ROOT</h3> .cshrc FILE:
-
-<h3>TECHNICAL THUG:</h3> Longer than eight kilobytes. Sources the output of a
-perl script, rewrites itself.
-
-<h3>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</h3> Typical lines include:
+<p><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Longer than eight kilobytes. Sources the
+output of a perl script, rewrites itself.</p>
+<p><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Typical lines include:</p>
+<pre>
umask 777
alias cd 'cd \!*; rm -rf ching *hack mille omega rogue xtrek > /dev/null &'
-
-<h3>MANIAC:</h3> Typical lines include:
-
+</pre>
+<p><i>MANIAC:</i> Typical lines include:</p>
+<pre>
alias rm 'rm -rf \!*'
alias hose kill -9 '`ps -augxww | grep \!* | awk \'{print $2}\'`'
alias kill 'kill -9 \!* ; kill -9 \!* ; kill -9 \!*'
alias renice 'echo Renice\? You must mean kill -9.; kill -9 \!*'
-
-<h3>IDIOT:</h3> Typical lines include:
-
+</pre>
+<p><i>IDIOT:</i> Typical lines include:</p>
+<pre>
alias dir ls
alias era rm
alias kitty cat
alias process_table ps
setenv DISPLAY vt100
+</pre>
+<center>
+ <h4>HOBBIES, TECHNICAL:</h4>
+</center>
- <h3>HOBBIES, TECHNICAL:</h3>
-
-<h3>TECHNICAL THUG:</h3> Writes entries for Obsfuscated C contest. Optimizes
-INTERCAL scripts. Maintains ENIAC emulator. Virtual reality .
+<p><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Writes entries for Obsfuscated C contest. Optimizes
+INTERCAL scripts. Maintains ENIAC emulator. Virtual reality.</p>
-<h3>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</h3> Bugs office. Audits card-key logs. Modifies
old
-TVs to listen in on cellular phone conversations. Listens to police band.
+<p><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Bugs office. Audits card-key
+logs. Modifies old TVs to listen in on cellular phone
+conversations. Listens to police band.</p>
-<h3>MANIAC:</h3> Volunteers at Survival Research Labs. Bugs office. Edits
-card-key logs. Modifies old TVs to listen in on cellular phone
-conversations. Jams police band.
+<p><i>MANIAC:</i> Volunteers at Survival Research Labs. Bugs
+office. Edits card-key logs. Modifies old TVs to listen in on cellular
+phone conversations. Jams police band.</p>
-<h3>IDIOT:</h3> Ties shoes. Maintains COBOL decimal to roman numeral converter.
-Rereads flowcharts from his salad days at Rand.
+<p><i>IDIOT:</i> Ties shoes. Maintains COBOL decimal to roman numeral
+converter. Rereads flowcharts from his salad days at Rand.</p>
+<center>
+ <h4>HOBBIES, NONTECHNICAL:</h4>
+</center>
- <h3>HOBBIES, NONTECHNICAL:</h3>
-
-<h3>TECHNICAL THUG:</h3> Drinks "Smart Drinks." Attends raves. Hangs out at
+<p><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Drinks "Smart Drinks." Attends raves. Hangs out at
poetry readings and Whole Earth Review events and tries to pick up
-Birkenstock MOTAS.
+Birkenstock MOTAS.</p>
-<h3>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</h3> Reads Readers Digest and Mein Kampf. Sometimes
+<p><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Reads Readers Digest and Mein Kampf.
Sometimes
turns up car radio and sings along to John Denver. Golfs. Drinks gin
-martinis. Hangs out in yuppie bars and tries to pick up dominatrixes.
+martinis. Hangs out in yuppie bars and tries to pick up dominatrixes.</p>
-<h3>MANIAC:</h3> Reads Utne Reader and Mein Kampf. Faithfully attends Dickies
and
+<p><i>MANIAC:</i> Reads Utne Reader and Mein Kampf. Faithfully attends Dickies
and
Ramones concerts. Punches out people who say "virtual reality." Drinks
damn near anything, but favors Wild Turkey, Black Bush, and grain alcohol.
Hangs out in neighborhood bars and tries to pick up MOTAS by drinking
-longshoremen under the table .
-
-<h3>IDIOT:</h3> Reads Time and Newsweek -- and *believes* them. Drinks
-Jagermeister. Tries to pick up close blood relations-- often succeeds,
-producting next generation of idiots.
+longshoremen under the table.</p>
+<p><i>IDIOT:</i> Reads Time and Newsweek—and *believes* them. Drinks
+Jagermeister. Tries to pick up close blood relations—often succeeds,
+producting next generation of idiots.</p>
- <h3>1992 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION:</h3>
+<center>
+ <h4>1992 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION:</h4>
+</center>
-<h3>TECHNICAL THUG:</h3> Clinton, but only because he liked Gore's book.
+<p><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Clinton, but only because he liked Gore's book.
-<h3>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</h3> Bush. Possibly Clinton, but only because he
+<p><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Bush. Possibly Clinton, but only because he
liked Tipper.
-<h3>MANIAC:</h3> Frank Zappa.
-
-<h3>IDIOT:</h3> Perot.
-
+<p><i>MANIAC:</i> Frank Zappa.
+<p><i>IDIOT:</i> Perot.
- <h3>1996 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION:</h3>
-<h3>TECHNICAL THUG:</h3> Richard Stallman - Larry Wall.
+<center>
+ <h4>1996 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION:</h4>
+</center>
-<h3>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</h3> Nixon - Buchanan.
+<p><i>TECHNICAL THUG:</i> Richard Stallman - Larry Wall.</p>
-<h3>MANIAC:</h3> Frank Zappa.
+<p><i>ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST:</i> Nixon - Buchanan.</p>
-<h3>IDIOT:</h3> Quayle.
+<p><i>MANIAC:</i> Frank Zappa.</p>
+<p><i>IDIOT:</i> Quayle.</p>
- <h3>COMPOUND SYSTEM ADMINISTRATORS:</h3>
+<center>
+ <h4>COMPOUND SYSTEM ADMINISTRATORS:</h4>
+</center>
-<h3>TECHNICAL FASCIST:</h3> Hacks kernel & writes a horde of scripts to prevent
-folk from ever using more than their fair share of system resources.
-Resulting overhead and load brings system to its knees.
+<p><i>TECHNICAL FASCIST:</i> Hacks kernel & writes a horde of scripts to
+prevent folk from ever using more than their fair share of system
+resources. Resulting overhead and load brings system to its knees.</p>
-<h3>TECHNICAL MANIAC:</h3> Writes scripts that SEEM to be monitoring the
system,
-but are actually encrypting large lists of passwords. Uses nearby nodes
-as beta test sites for worms.
+<p><i>TECHNICAL MANIAC:</i> Writes scripts that SEEM to be monitoring
+the system, but are actually encrypting large lists of passwords. Uses
+nearby nodes as beta test sites for worms.</p>
-<h3>TECHNICAL IDIOT:</h3> Writes superuser-run scripts that sooner or later do
an
-"rm -rf /".
+<p><i>TECHNICAL IDIOT:</i> Writes superuser-run scripts that sooner or
+later do <tt>rm -rf /</tt>.
-<h3>FASCISTIC MANIAC:</h3> At first hint of cracker incursions, whether real or
-imagined, shuts down system by triggering water-on-the-brain detectors
-and Halon system.
+<p><i>FASCISTIC MANIAC:</i> At first hint of cracker incursions, whether
+real or imagined, shuts down system by triggering water-on-the-brain
+detectors and Halon system.<p>
-<h3>FASCISTIC IDIOT:</h3>
+<p><i>FASCISTIC IDIOT:</i></p>
+<pre>
+# cp /dev/null /etc/passwd
+</pre>
- # cp /dev/null /etc/passwd
-
-<h3>MANIACAL IDIOT:</h3> Napalms the CPU.
+<p><i>MANIACAL IDIOT:</i> Napalms the CPU.</p>
+<p>
Stephan Zielinski
--
-Submitted by <h3>Durval Menezes</h3>.
+Submitted by <b>Durval Menezes</b>.
+</p>
<p>
<a href="/fun/humor.html">Other humor</a>
@@ -454,30 +484,35 @@
</div>
-<!--#include virtual="/server/footer-min.html" -->
+<!--#include virtual="/server/footer.html" -->
<div id="footer">
-<p>
-Please send FSF & GNU inquiries to
-<a href="mailto:address@hidden";><em>address@hidden</em></a>. There are
-also <a href="http://www.fsf.org/about/contact.html";>other ways to
-contact</a> the FSF.
-<br />
-Please send broken links and other corrections (or suggestions) to
-<a href="mailto:address@hidden";><em>address@hidden</em></a>.
-</p>
+<p>Please send FSF & GNU inquiries to
+<a href="mailto:address@hidden";><address@hidden></a>.
+There are also <a href="/contact/">other ways to contact</a>
+the FSF.<br />
+Please send broken links and other corrections or suggestions to
+<!-- If you are a project maintainer or developer, please use your own -->
+<!-- project email, as webmasters does not manage project web pages. -->
+<!-- However, please report problems in this boilerplate file -->
+<!-- itself to webmasters. -->
+<!-- And remove this whole comment when you copy the file to a new page. -->
+<a href="mailto:address@hidden";><address@hidden></a>.</p>
+
+<p>Please see the <a
+href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
+README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting translations
+of this article.</p>
+
+<p>Copyright © 2009 Free Software Foundation, Inc.</p>
+
+<p>Verbatim copying and distribution of this entire article are
+permitted worldwide, without royalty, in any medium, provided this
+notice, and the copyright notice, are preserved.</p>
-<p>
-Please see the
-<a href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations
-README</a> for information on coordinating and submitting
-translations of this article.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Updated:
+<p>Updated:
<!-- timestamp start -->
-$Date: 2008/11/05 00:45:28 $
+$Date: 2009/06/09 20:56:09 $
<!-- timestamp end -->
</p>
</div>
@@ -485,24 +520,25 @@
<div id="translations">
<h4>Translations of this page</h4>
- <!-- Please keep this list alphabetical, and in the original -->
- <!-- language if possible, otherwise default to English -->
- <!-- If you do not have it English, please comment what the -->
- <!-- English is. If you add a new language here, please -->
- <!-- advise address@hidden and add it to -->
- <!-- - in /home/www/bin/nightly-vars either TAGSLANG or WEBLANG -->
- <!-- - in /home/www/html/server/standards/README.translations.html -->
- <!-- one of the lists under the section "Translations Underway" -->
- <!-- - if there is a translation team, you also have to add an alias -->
- <!-- to mail.gnu.org:/com/mailer/aliases -->
- <!-- Please also check you have the 2 letter language code right versus -->
- <!-- http://www.w3.org/WAI/ER/IG/ert/iso639.htm -->
+<!-- Please keep this list alphabetical by language code. -->
+<!-- Comment what the language is for each type, i.e. de is German. -->
+<!-- Write the language name in its own language (Deutsch) in the text. -->
+<!-- If you add a new language here, please -->
+<!-- advise address@hidden and add it to -->
+<!-- - /home/www/html/server/standards/README.translations.html -->
+<!-- - one of the lists under the section "Translations Underway" -->
+<!-- - if there is a translation team, you also have to add an alias -->
+<!-- to mail.gnu.org:/com/mailer/aliases -->
+<!-- Please also check you have the language code right; see: -->
+<!-- http://www.loc.gov/standards/iso639-2/php/code_list.php -->
+<!-- If the 2-letter ISO 639-1 code is not available, -->
+<!-- use the 3-letter ISO 639-2. -->
+<!-- Please use W3C normative character entities. -->
<ul class="translations-list">
<!-- English -->
-<li><a href="/fun/jokes/know.your.sysadmin.html">English</a> [en]</li>
+<li><a href="/server/standards/boilerplate.html">English</a> [en]</li>
</ul>
-
</div>
</div>
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