Re: LYNX-DEV LYNX: another M$ news item (a friend sent it to me)

[Laura Eaves]

Seems there's a lot in hte news about M$ :)
Here's another a friend sent:

>  Subject: Microsoft Addresses Justice Department Accusations
>
>  Microsoft Addresses Justice Department Accusations
>
>  REDMOND, Wash. - Oct. 21, 1997 -- In direct response to accusations
> made by  the Department of Justice, the Microsoft Corp. announced=
> today that it will be acquiring the federal government of the United
> States of America for an undisclosed sum.
>
>  "It's actually a logical extension of our planned growth", said
> Microsoft chairman Bill Gates, "It really is going to be a positive
> arrangement for everyone".
>
>  Microsoft representatives held a briefing in the oval office of the
> White House with U.S. President Bill Clinton, and assured members of
> the press  that changes will be "minimal". The United States will be
> managed as a  wholly owned division of Microsoft. An initial public
> offering is planned  for July of next year, and the federal government
> is expected to be  profitable by "Q4 1999 at latest", according to
>
> Microsoft president Steve  Ballmer.
>
>  In a related announcement, Bill Clinton stated that he had "willingly
> and enthusiastically" accepted a position as a vice president with
> Microsoft, and will continue to manage the United States government,
> reporting directly to Bill Gates. When asked how it felt to give up
> the mantle of executive authority to Gates, Clinton smiled and
> referred to it as "a  relief". He went on to say that Gates has a=
> "proven track record", and that  U.S. citizens should offer Gates
> their "full support and confidence". Clinton will reportedly be
> earning several times the $200,000 annually he has earned as U.S.=
> president, in his new role at Microsoft.
>
>  Gates dismissed a suggestion that the U.S. Capitol be moved to
> Redmond  as "silly", though did say that he would make executive
> decisions for the U.S.  government from his existing office at
> Microsoft Headquarters. Gates went  on to say that the House and
> Senate would "of course" be abolished.  "Microsoft isn't a democracy",
> he observed, "and look how well we're doing".
>  When asked if the rumored attendant acquisition of Canada was
> proceeding, Gates said, "We don't deny that discussions are taking
> place".  Microsoft representatives closed the conference by stating
> that United States citizens will be able to expect lower taxes, increases in
> government  services and discounts on all Microsoft products.
>
>
>
>  About Microsoft
>
>
>  Founded in 1975, Microsoft (NASDAQ "MSFT") is the worldwide leader in
> software for personal computers, and democratic government. The
> company  offers a wide range of products and services for public,=
> business and  personal use, each designed with the mission of making
> it easier and more enjoyable for people to take advantage of the full power of
> personal computing and free society every day.
>
>
>  About the United States
>
>
>  Founded in 1789, the United States of America is the most successful
> nation in the history of the world, and has been a beacon of democracy
> and  opportunity for over 200 years. Headquartered in Washington,
> D.C., the  United States is a wholly owned subsidiary of Microsoft
> Corporation.
>
>  "The United States of America" and "Microsoft" are registered >
> trademarks of  Microsoft Corporation.