But, now that she thought about it, they werent
quite enough.
The husband is always the last to find out. So I
went out andfound pleasant consolation and left you to your
refinements.
She had moneyand as much security as one could hope
for in an insecure world.
She saw that he was coatless and his cravat
hungdown on either side of his open collar. You are goingtonight, even if everyone,
from Alex Stephens down, cuts you andMrs.
He stopped laughing, leaning so heavily against her
shoulders thatthey ached.
She rose to her feet, her hand still in his. He was
in her closet, going throughher dresses swiftly. No modest, matronly dove grays and
lilacs tonight. Ive never known an Irishman to be a coward. This moment was too
precious to be lost, no matter whatpain came after. To be sheltered by Melanies
blind trust, Melanieof all people! It was dark and she could not see his face. Am I
actually being invited into the sanctuary?
Scarlett, sometimes I have an impersonal curiosity
as to what wouldhave happened to me without you. This is what happenswhen you look
back to happiness, this pain, this heartbreak, thisdiscontent.
I never understood before why I wasntaltogether
happy either.
Usually, the more he drank, the more polished
became his manners. We stillthink alike but we react differently. He was muttering
things she did not hear, his lips were evokingfeelings never felt
before.
Im sure the woman the Phariseestook in adultery
didnt look half so pale.
She heard Rhett moving aboutin his room for a long
time, speaking occasionally to Pork.
She would face Shermans army again rather
thanrepeat that performance!
Its just that so much hashappened in
between.
Now I know why you cant be happy, she thought
sadly. Hedoesnt want your mind, the fool, and I dont want your body. She turned
casually and started toward the door and a burst oflaughter stopped
her.
But Rhett did not appear for dinner, nor was he at
his place at thesupper table. She saw that he was coatless and his cravat hungdown
on either side of his open collar. And while I may endure atrollop for a wife, I
wont endure a coward.
Her newfriends, suffering in silence under her
insolences, would welcome achance to blackguard her.
He fumbled and drew out her new
jade-greenwatered-silk dress. We are notgentlemen and we have no honor, have
we?
Noone could go forward with a load of aching
memories.
No modest, matronly dove grays and lilacs tonight.
I never understood before why I wasntaltogether happy either. Iknow youve been
physically faithful to me.
No, Scarlett, when you are sixty,youll look the
same to me.